I was wondering if there were anyone out there that opted for a miscarriage on their own as opposed to a D&C. I was 7 weeks pregnant and everything was fine. At 8 weeks and 2 days, i was told there was no heartbeat. The doctor told me my choices were to get a d&c or expel it on my own. I opted to expel it on my own NOT realizing how painful the contractions were going to be. They were 4 minutes apart and lasted a minute long. My husband said that the doctor informed me that some people do go into labor but I didn't remember hearing him say that since I must've been in a fog due to the terrible news. The contractions started at about 3:30 pm and lasted until about 8:45 pm. It was very scary and very painful. We called the doctor who told us that my cervix was opening and getting ready to expel. Afterward, i felt very weak and exhausted! I went to the doctor after it was over and she said that everything was fine and my cervix was now closed. I was relieved cause i didn't want to hear that after all was said and done that not all was emtied from my uterus and that i might still have to go for a D&C. I am now very AFRAID to get pregnant again because I do not want to go through those same contractions that i couldn't handle. MY QUESTION TO EVERYONE is Does anyone know if the contractions of a miscarriage is WORSE then that of a live birth? I guess I am hoping so ..so that I won't be afraid to do this again.
I'm so sorry for all that you've been through! My miscarriage at 8 1/2wks was very much like yours. I had regular contractions for 4 hours and even had my water break.
I've had 5 children and 5 miscarriages (currently preg with hopefully baby #6). I believe that live birth is more painful as far as pain goes but it's tolerable since you know you will have your baby in your arms soon. It's a natural process and one that usually ends in joy. The pain of a miscarriage I believe is almost unbearable since you have nothing but an empty womb to show for all of your pain. There is no joy afterwards but extreme emotional pain and emptiness. M/c is also a natural process but life is easier to cope with than death.
I think overall a live birth is far easier and I do NOT have easy deliveries (I have incredibly difficult labors with complications). I believe though that there are women who would say quite the opposite. For some women a m/c is not a major event for them (I know a woman who lost her baby at 5mos. and said "it was no big deal" ; I can't fathom that but that was her perspective).
My heart goes out to you and I can understand your fear. Labor is difficult, very difficult, but you will get through it and if you need them there are a variety of pain meds available. Let us know how things are going if you feel up to it.
Love and Prayers, Kelly
P.S. I've only had one m/c that didn't start with bleeding and cramping. I was 17wks along and there was no heartbeat; it was confirmed by u/s. I was given the option of having a D&E but I refused since I wanted to see and hold my baby. I waited two weeks to go into labor on my own but never did. I requested an induction and the dr agreed. After 3 hours of labor I delivered a tiny baby boy. I'll never regret not having the D&E. We brought him home and buried him in the flower bed beneath our bedroom window (my husband had made a little box and padded it to put him in).
I didn't have the option of D&C with the other m/c because they all started with bleeding/cramping and passed on their own without complication.
Last edited by ASDGRMama; 07-07-2005 at 07:58 PM.
Reason: wanted to add P.S.
HI KELLY! I am new to this whole board posting thing and it took me a long while to figure it out so i hope you get this. WOW! You are a pro it seems. Well, is the contractions in a live-birth just as bad as a miscarriage contraction? I know labor hurts but are the contractions as painful? I am too afraid of feeling that again!
Labor is just regular contractions that dilate the cervix. What you exerienced with your m/c was labor.
I feel that full term contractions are more intense because they last longer and are stronger but they are not always as painful. I'm not sure how else to describe it. When the cervix dilates from about 7cm to 10cm you're considered to be in what's called "transition". It is typically by far the most painful part and for many people it will be the most pain they will ever experience in their life BUT it does not usually last more than an hour (and many times is much shorter; my transition is only 10 minutes).
I feel that contractions in a m/c are very similar to contractions that dilate the cervix from 0-7cm which is most of your contractions during labor. The feeling with a live birth is typically more intense (not more painful necessarily) also because the overall size of the uterus is much larger.
You also have to factor in a full term sized baby pressing on the cervix and pelvic organs. If there is a malpresentation contractions can be extremely difficult to get through.
I do not have easy labors so I may be the wrong person to be asking . I know women who's labors are extremely easy and I know women like myself who have extremely difficult labors. My MIL has had 11 children and with a couple of the babies she woke up pushing (must be nice ).
I really wish I could explain it better but in reality it's so variable. I do think that f/t contractions require more concentration and focus but m/c is perceived to be far more difficult because of the trauma associated with it.
I won't lie transition contractions are extremely painful and difficult. They come every 1 1/2-3 minutes and last 60-90 seconds long. They require an incredible amount of perseverence. However, women do it every day and most of them will go on to do it again .
MY QUESTION TO EVERYONE is Does anyone know if the contractions of a miscarriage is WORSE then that of a live birth? I guess I am hoping so ..so that I won't be afraid to do this again.
Everyone is different, but my contractions were about 1000 times worse during my full term labor then what they were in my 2 miscarriages! You can't let the fear of pain stand in your way tho! When you are in labor with a full term you have something to look foward too, unlike a miscarriage you have nothin to look forward too! Just know that the pain is well worth it in the end with a full term!
I wouldnt compare a miscarraige to actual labor. Have been through both and will be the black sheep and say the miscarraige was worse. I didnt even get my epidural in real labor until I was 7 centimeters.
I have 3 young boys and just experienced my first miscarriage last month. I would say that the pain i experienced with my miscarriage was every bit as painful as that of any of my labours. What makes a miscarriage worse is the fact that you do not get to hold this beautiful tiny bundle afterwards that makes you forget all of the pain. I have so far been unable to forget how much it hurt during the miscarriage and yet i know that 10 minutes after giving birth i told my husband that it was all worth it and i wanted to do it all over again.
Do not let the fear of labour keep you from having a baby. When you hold that small person in your arms you too will forget everything you just went through and just marvel at the wonder of life.
ladies, I muse say.......I'm freaking out here! I too found out at 8 w 2 d that I miscarried. He died at 6 weeks. I started to spot last week. I wasn't told anything about labor pains and that I would just cramp and bleed. And when I saw a blood clot that would be it. I read something on the internet that went like this: "You may have light bleeding and cramping for a few weeks. You can wear sanitary pads but no tampons during this time and take acetaminophen for the pain. The bleeding and cramping may get worse shortly before you pass the "products of conception" — that is, the placenta and the embryonic or fetal tissue, which will look grayish and may include blood clots. If you can, save this tissue in a clean container because your caregiver may want to examine it or send it to a lab for testing to try to find out why you miscarried. In any case, she'll want to see you at this point, so call her to let her know what's happened."
No where in there did it say anything about experiencing labor pains while having a miscarriage. Just cramping. I know some people have gone through some nasty pains while miscarrying, but......do they all happen this way? I mean, with the labor pains???
I miscarried at 6 weeks. I did not have any labor pains. I did have pretty bad cramping, and my lower back hurt really bad. I also got really sick to my sick stomach which I hadn't done up until then. I guess it just depends on each person and how their body reacts.
Having a miscarriage *is* labor it's just labor on a smaller scale (intensity-wise). The cramps you will feel are "labor pains".
Whenever the uterus tenses to expel something it is called a contraction. Cramping and contractions are the same thing. It is the uterus tightening up.
Your uterus can contract however in a non-expelling way as when we have orgasm or braxton hicks. This is not labor.
Labor is when you get contractions at regular intervals to expel a baby. The "cramping" of a miscarriage is very regular but we don't notice because by the time they are noticeable the cervix is almost open enough to expel the contents of the uterus and the contractions are lasting a long time and very close together so it seems like constant hard cramping (kind of like transition during a full term delivery but not nearly as painful).
The actual pain of a miscarriage I do not believe is as extreme as with labor but I find labor much easier to tolerate because the outcome is a happy one. With a miscarriage the pain is not as bearable because there is no reward at the end only emptiness.
I, too, opted to let my miscarriage happen (at 9 weeks) rather than have a D&C. I was already bleeding and having strong cramps when I left my doctor's office with the news that the fetus was no longer viable. Two Aleve tablets had no effect at all on the pain after an hour so I took the precribed Tylenol 3 (codeine). Drowsy for an hour but pain kept worsening and I started throwing up. Took more codeine a couple of hours after the first dose. Pain was now awful so I called my doctor. It's after hours, he's not on call and I didn't want to explain everything to another doctor so I decide to wait it out. Finally, called and talked with the oncall doctor who told me to go to the local ER for pain relief. So 5 hours after leaving my doctor's office my husband drives me to the hospital. I was throwing up every 15 minutes (and had been for a couple of hours), soaked in sweat one minute and shuddering with cold the next, unable to even stand except between contractions. Could only walk with support. Contractions were coming every minute and lasting over three minutes. Let me tell you, collapsing on the floor in front of the triage nurse's station is a great way to get immediate attention! They kept me in the ER for about 2 hours, with IV anti-nausea medication, fluids and a morphine shot. Then gave me the option to return home since I wasn't hemorraging. Went home with phenergan for the nausea and percoset for the pain. Needed the percoset about 2 hours after the morphine shot had been administered. On a scale of 1 to 10 the pain was a 4 between contractions and so far off the scale as to be unquantifiable with the contractions.
As I have been told since, the problem is that the cervix often does not want to open during miscarriage. It hasn't ripened like in a fullterm pregnancy and it's being essentially forced to open is where the major pain comes from. I would have risked the D&C if I had any idea it was going to be that bad. At the worst, I was white as a ghost and very, very cold in a 75 degree room. I've not carried a baby to term yet so don't know what labors like ... sorry to be so graphic but I think it's important for people to know that miscarriage can be a lot worse than "a heavy period with some strong cramping!" Miscarriages run the gamut from unnoticed to physically painful beyond description and everything in between. No way to tell beforehand either. Best of luck to everyone.
with my first pregnancy I miscarried at 7 weeks. I have never experienced so much pain in my life. I went to the er, and they offered a D&C. I declined, the thought scared me, and therefore I opted for it to pass naturally. I was perscribed pain killers and went home. eventually the pain subsibed and passed it on my own. several months later I became pregnant and went to full term. I started with contractions - pretty painful, but more crampy then the sharp pains I felt during the miscarrige. I recieved at epidural (about 12 hours after the contractions started) and pretty much felt little pain after that. I went on to have a c-section due to failure to progress, and now have a perfectly healthy amazing little boy. recently I became pregnant again, at the 12 week ultrasound they found the fetus stopped growing at 6 weeks. I began spotting, then light bleeding with light cramping. My obgyn strongly recommened a D&C. I was extremely scared to take this step - the thought of surgery, anesthesia, hospitals, etc. (petrifying). I thought seriously about having the miscarrige on my own, and thought that perhaps the pain wouldn't be so bad (because I had already had a baby, etc.). But, I was worried because I had already carried around an ended pregnancy for 5-6 weeks, and I thought about infections, etc. therefore I opted for the D&C. while in the waiting room for the surgery I started with the full miscarrige. The pain, again, more severe that I can even explain. I thought I was going to pass out, vomit, etc. My husband said I was as white as ghost and I couldn't stand, move, anything. finally they got me ready for the or, and onto the first round of "cocktails" before the surgery (this was great). I felt dreamy and happy - no pain. then in for the d&c. still dreamy and happy, I layed on the table (no stirrups, uncomfortableness, etc). the had me breath in, and the next thing I know I wake up in recovery - feeling amazing. Not at all sick, or in pain, etc. I wasn't in stirrups or had to be checked, or anything, It was over - just like that. I went home about 1 hour later, I had no cramping, light bleeding, and felt great. So - my opinion, a miscarriage is more painful than labor, and D&C with anesthesia is far better they trying to pass it on your own! Hope this helps somebody.
ive been pregnant 4 times, my first ended at around 16-17 weeks, the first i knew of it was when i started spotting, and after a lot of checking out we found out that it had died at 8 weeks. i opted to have a d&c but as this was late on a friday, they booked me in for monday and i had the contractions and severe pain all weekend. my second pregnancy was uneventful and i went on to go into labour with my daughter, it was pretty painful so i had an epi when i was only 4cms dilated and felt nothing until after, i tore a little and the recovery was long. with my third pregnancy we found out when i was 4 weeks, only to loose the baby at 6 weeks (2 days after my daughters 2nd birthday) i had no pain whatsoever, if i didnt do the test i would have just thought it was a late af. 4th was again uneventful, went into labour 8 days late, didnt start to hurt until about 7pm, got to hospital at 7.30pm, where it was really hurting by then, but i was 8cms already so no epi for me
it was the most pain i have ever expirienced, but after some shouting and screaming he was born at 9.34pm. he was 1lb8oz heavier than my daughter but i didnt tear, i wasnt at all sore and i could have probably run a marathon the next day lol.
what im trying to get at is every pregnancy is different, you may think me crazy but i never really enjoyed being preg, but i absolutely loved the laboour part of it, its so exciting and such a rush i would do the labour with baby a million times over than the m/cs, even if they wernt painful
Mia-Louise jan '04
Jacob april '07
I am sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I went through a miscarriage March 26, I was in my 10th week by the time it started - I had a blighted ovum. By the time the miscarriage was in full swing it was about 8:00pm on a Saturday - I woke my dh up at 2:30am due to the pain - he sat with me and rubbed my back - i told him not to as it made it worse. I was in severe back labour. This went on all night - my dh had enough - and on Sunday afternoon we went to the er - i was admitted as I was bleeding alot and in so much pain. I was put on iv and offered demerol which I refused due to I heard it makes you nausious and I didn't need that on top of everything else. This pain carried on until Sunday evening when I passed the sac - it was intact and it didn't look like a blood clot.
After that passed the pain was more like period cramping. I had an u/s at 12pm Monday and had to have the d&c that night due to products in the upper part of my uterus.
The pain I experienced was contractions but at the time I didn't know (first pregnancy) and explained the pain as "coming and going" - these are contractions. I have to say the pain was intense - the most pain I ever experienced - I cried alot and when it was over I said I would never do that again but I also said it would have been more tolerable if I had something at the end of it (my baby) which I didn't.
My ob said it would be like a heavy period with cramping - it was nothing like that at all. I told him after it happened how I was not expecting that much pain and especially the back pain.
Like some of the other girls I also had alot of nausea before it all started and I was also dizzy and lightheaded several days before it started.
I had a long recovery after the d&c - several months before I had no pain or cramping at all.
I would like to think that a pregnancy wouldn't be as bad but like the other poster said - every pregnancy is different. At least I know what labour pains will be like and although it frightens me to do that again - a little bundle of joy may make it all worthwhile. I think my dh is also scared - the whole experience took alot out of him as he watched me go through everything without being able to help me.
Gees, the pain we go through, if it were left up to men to populate the world it would be empty. We women as a gender should be proud of how strong we really are.
tj022594, I'm so glad you asked this question. I am so sorry you went through so much pain. I had my miscarriage on July 4th, 2007. I felt much of what you did. I was having very uncomfortable cramps all day and then around 11pm they became extremely painful. I was bleeding a lot, so we figured that it was the miscarriage happening. We were told in week 7 that the pregnancy was a blighted ovum. I was given the option to do a d&c, but decided to do let it pass naturally. I didn't miscarry until I was supposed to be in week 12 and the placenta that came out was much larger than what I was expecting. I wonder if that's part of why it was so painful.
Anyway, since then I've often wondered what birthing labor is like compared to miscarriage labor. Ever since I wanted to have a baby I've wanted to try to labor naturally without medication and now I'm wondering if I can handle it.
Thanks again for asking the question that I've been wanting to.