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Old 07-09-2006, 08:22 PM   #1
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found out Brother-in-law having 2nd baby!

Hi Everyone- My husband and I lost our first child in March of this year. During that time my brother-in-law and his fiancee' got pregnant and didn't tell anyone til about 1 month ago. I am still kind of surprised and shocked, yet jealous at the same time. They are not even married yet, and he is not showing much interest in having a 2nd child. He does not even play with his first born. He barely watches her or pays any attention! It is sad! My husband absolutely adores kids! Anyway, it is definitely playing w/ my emotions. We live on the west coast and they're in the midwest. But we are moving back there this fall. She is due around Thanksgiving. I am not so sure how I will be able to handle it. To be honest I could see myself losing it in front of them. My husband does not understand why I am getting this way. I am an emotional person, so it's hard to manage. I know I could not go to her baby shower, if she has one. M husband says I could handle it, but I KNOW I could not. I would lose it. How in the world can I get through this? Hopefully there won't be a baby shower, and plus I am in her wedding this summer!!! She will be 6 months pregnant! Plus, one of her good friends is also in the wedding and she is pregnant too!!! I feel like it is all a huge nightmare!! I am happy for them, but at the same time I am afraid I will be a huge wreck the day of the wedding!! Plus, when she asked me to be in her wedding, I didn't even know at the time. It was probably a month or two after I miscarried. I hate this! I can't wait til the wedding is over and I am back at my own house!!!

 
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Old 07-11-2006, 03:19 PM   #2
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CRR0908 HB User
Re: found out Brother-in-law having 2nd baby!

Susanna-
I completely understand where you are coming from. My husband and I lost our first baby Dec.7th. My sister-in-law and her fiancee tell us the day after Christmas that she was pregnant. I didnt go to my in-law for 3 months I was so devastated. So they went ahead and got married in Jan. and everything seemed great. Now with their baby due in about 6 wks the family says they'll be divorced within 2 years. My BIL is very immature and resents my SIL since shes not working and he is having to pay all of their bills. I still have a hard time talking with my SIL just because I am very hurt that her child will be my in-laws first grandchild even though my husband and I are 5 years older (and were married and financially stable). I didnt go to my SIL shower because I just couldnt cope with that and she understood. My husband tried to understand but he just didnt get it. Now that I am 17wks pregnant he gets it. The baby is real to him b/c there is a heartbeat and hes felt the baby kick. And noone can make you be in the wedding. If its too hard to cope dont do it. Just explain it to your future SIL because any caring woman would understand your position.

 
Old 07-12-2006, 08:31 PM   #3
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susanna_29 HB User
Re: found out Brother-in-law having 2nd baby!

Thanks for your support. It sounds like my BIL and future SIL. It probably won't last long either if he continues his behavior! He isn't employed right now, and she takes care of the baby, works over 40 hrs. week. She's lucky her mom is there to help her. But, I wish that I had known that she was pregnant when she asked me to stand up in their wedding. Now I have spent over $200 for dress and if I have a break down, What a waste! But, I think out of respect she could have told me. But, that's her. What can I do? The funny thing is, I barely know her. I don't know much about her, except that she is very opinionated and has a bad temper! I just don't connect with her, but get along with her when I do talk to her. Anyway, I hope I get through this!! Thanks again for your support!

Last edited by susanna_29; 07-12-2006 at 08:33 PM.

 
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