Miscarriage at 8 weeks - Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Preciouskittenn · 12-15-2006, 12:08 PM

As you can tell I'm new here, and really never thought I'd need to be here... But I am in need of some support and don't know where else to go.

I found out I was pregnant only 5 days after conception (according to my Dr.) and when I went to get a test done at my family Dr. he said my HcG levels were very low, and to expect a miscarriage by the weekend. I was shocked and horrified at the prospect of all of this. We weren't even trying to get pregnant and now the baby is going to die?? So I went in two days later and my HcG levels had quadrupled, everything, according to the Dr., was on schedule now and that I was obviously just very early pregnant. We went to the OB the following Monday and they did some blood work and tests and things. Then they scheduled an ultrasound for 2 weeks later. We went in and there was our little baby, heartbeat and all. They gave me a due date and told me everything looked wonderful. The following week I had some light spotting so I called the Dr. but since it was afterhours she just told me not to worry unless I had cramps or if the blood was bright red. So I went to bed not really too concerned. I woke up the next morning and there was a large amount of blood on my underwear, so I called the Dr. right away, I went in they did an ultrasound and told us the baby's heartrate was only 75. I was crushed. They only gave us a 40/60 chance that the baby would live, and told us what to expect if I started to miscarry. I started some heavier bleeding this past Monday and started having horrible cramps and passing clots on Tuesday. We went in again on Wednesday and they confirmed that our baby had died. Then they told me I needed a D&C because my body had not passed everything. I just had that yesterday.

Sorry that this is so long, but I'm trying to wrap my mind around all of this and I'm hoping that "talking" about it will help me. I was doing pretty good, we had a week to prepare for it, and yesterday I was so out of it I didn't think about it much. Then today I got a Christmas card from my Aunt saying how excited they were about the baby. I just lost it. I'm just dreading any more cards or letters from my family, as I live 600 miles away from most of them, and they may not know yet. I don't feel very Merry right now and don't want people to expect me to get into the Christmas spirit. I'm hoping someone has some good advice on how to handle the holidays. I just don't know how I'll get through them... Thanks for listening.

Allison

hagios · 12-15-2006, 01:28 PM

Hello, Allison...

I've been through exactly what you're going through ... only twice.

First was at 9 weeks, second at 13, within a year of each other.

It's not fun and there's no easy way to deal with it. You may want to get the word out to your family soon so that you don't get any more cards. Not only that, but hopefully they would be able to help console you. In all likelihood some of them have been through it as well. Roughly 30% of all pregnancies end in miscarriages. So sorry to hear this.

Rest assured, there is still hope, as despite our hardships, we are currently expecting our first LIVE child in less than two months!!!!

I encourage you to use some of your family get-togethers to help cheer you up. You may not be in the mood to celebrate right now, but I would hope that they could be a little bit of relief in this rough time.

pradasweets1983 · 12-15-2006, 11:55 PM

Hi,

I hope when you read this you are feeling a little better today. You will have ups and downs. Good days and bad ones and the smallest things will trigger the pain all over again.

Like you I had time to prepare for the day I was to have my surgery to remove the baby. I found out the baby had died on a Friday but told the doctor I wanted the weekend to say goodbye to the baby no longer growing in me. I was in shock right after I found out. That whole weekend went like any other really because I still had my baby bump and the morning sickness. I still felt healthy pregnant. It wasn't until the day after my surgery that I had a break down. My doc called me to come into his office to give me my rhogam shot and seeing all those mothers pregnant or with newborns was all too much. I wasn't epecting anymore. I felt alone and the wait was too long... I knew I was going to cry right there in that waiting area so I left and started bawling half way to my car. I was 4 months with this one. This was #3 and I am 22.

If you need to talk or to vent, feel free to do it here. We will be here for you. Make sure you grieve all you need to. You will have a healthy baby someday, don't worry. You just have to have faith. I am trying to.

Take care, Jess

Preciouskittenn · 12-16-2006, 12:18 AM

Thank you both so much for your kind words.
I am feeling a little better now. I felt pretty good later in the evening and my husband took me shopping, so that was nice. I get very angry at other women who have newborns or who are pregnant, and I hate that. It's not their fault I miscarried, but seeing them hurts and I suppose getting angry is better than breaking down completly. I do have hopes to have a healthy live baby in the near future, my hubby and I talked about that tonight as well so I'm starting to realize that this was just one of those things you can't control even though you hope and pray that you could. We also talked about this baby, the one that we loved so much and never met, and I feel like that helped a lot. Just small things, who would he have looked like, where he would go to school, things like that... We talked about things we can do to remember him and that was nice too. I'll just take one day at a time and work through it, I'm just glad there are boards like this for support. Thanks again.

hmschlinmom · 12-25-2006, 09:29 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. I have just joined this board looking for ppl who know what I am going thru and yours was the first I read. I know how very hard it is to experience a loss of something that you did not even know you wanted in the first place.
I got preg last July and was thrilled bcs we knew we would be done having kids. It was our fouth so we were trying. I started bleeding like seven weeks into it and was told to go to the ER for a VUS...we seen the hb so they said al was good. We were out of state at the time so I was not at my doc's. We we got back home I made an appt and went in to another VUS and by that time I was a little over eight weeks....well to our suprise there were two sacs...OMG twins! I was scared and thrilled..always thought I would be the one to have them in my family...its a time bomb anyway for them to show up again. So I was put on strict bed rest for a week and then back for another US. I did all I was told to do and the bleeding just would not stop. I went back for my next US and there was no sign of the second baby. I was heartbroken and crushed to say the least. My doc told me and I started crying..he said oh did you want twins...did not set out to have them but once I knew I wanted both my babies.

Luckily I went on to have a healthy baby girl. I am being treated for PPD and there have been times that it has been hard. Today being Christmas has been tough. I just keep thinking why couldnt my other baby be here with us.? Ppl just don't know why I am sad bcs I got a healthy baby out of it. I still lost a child and it still hurts. I do feel guilty sometimes bcs I did have a happy ending and alot of ppl dont but I try not to compare. A loss is a loss.

I can only tell you to take it one day at a time and do whatever you have to to get threw it or deal with the loss. I hung up a stocking for our precious little one that is not here with us..it seemed to have helped.

Keep talking to ppl and God bless,
hmschlinmom