As you can tell I'm new here, and really never thought I'd need to be here... But I am in need of some support and don't know where else to go.
I found out I was pregnant only 5 days after conception (according to my Dr.) and when I went to get a test done at my family Dr. he said my HcG levels were very low, and to expect a miscarriage by the weekend. I was shocked and horrified at the prospect of all of this. We weren't even trying to get pregnant and now the baby is going to die?? So I went in two days later and my HcG levels had quadrupled, everything, according to the Dr., was on schedule now and that I was obviously just very early pregnant. We went to the OB the following Monday and they did some blood work and tests and things. Then they scheduled an ultrasound for 2 weeks later. We went in and there was our little baby, heartbeat and all. They gave me a due date and told me everything looked wonderful. The following week I had some light spotting so I called the Dr. but since it was afterhours she just told me not to worry unless I had cramps or if the blood was bright red. So I went to bed not really too concerned. I woke up the next morning and there was a large amount of blood on my underwear, so I called the Dr. right away, I went in they did an ultrasound and told us the baby's heartrate was only 75. I was crushed. They only gave us a 40/60 chance that the baby would live, and told us what to expect if I started to miscarry. I started some heavier bleeding this past Monday and started having horrible cramps and passing clots on Tuesday. We went in again on Wednesday and they confirmed that our baby had died. Then they told me I needed a D&C because my body had not passed everything. I just had that yesterday.
Sorry that this is so long, but I'm trying to wrap my mind around all of this and I'm hoping that "talking" about it will help me. I was doing pretty good, we had a week to prepare for it, and yesterday I was so out of it I didn't think about it much. Then today I got a Christmas card from my Aunt saying how excited they were about the baby. I just lost it. I'm just dreading any more cards or letters from my family, as I live 600 miles away from most of them, and they may not know yet. I don't feel very Merry right now and don't want people to expect me to get into the Christmas spirit. I'm hoping someone has some good advice on how to handle the holidays. I just don't know how I'll get through them... Thanks for listening.
I've been through exactly what you're going through ... only twice. First was at 9 weeks, second at 13, within a year of each other. It's not fun and there's no easy way to deal with it. You may want to get the word out to your family soon so that you don't get any more cards. Not only that, but hopefully they would be able to help console you. In all likelihood some of them have been through it as well. Roughly 30% of all pregnancies end in miscarriages. So sorry to hear this.
Rest assured, there is still hope, as despite our hardships, we are currently expecting our first LIVE child in less than two months!!!! I encourage you to use some of your family get-togethers to help cheer you up. You may not be in the mood to celebrate right now, but I would hope that they could be a little bit of relief in this rough time.
I hope when you read this you are feeling a little better today. You will have ups and downs. Good days and bad ones and the smallest things will trigger the pain all over again.
Like you I had time to prepare for the day I was to have my surgery to remove the baby. I found out the baby had died on a Friday but told the doctor I wanted the weekend to say goodbye to the baby no longer growing in me. I was in shock right after I found out. That whole weekend went like any other really because I still had my baby bump and the morning sickness. I still felt healthy pregnant. It wasn't until the day after my surgery that I had a break down. My doc called me to come into his office to give me my rhogam shot and seeing all those mothers pregnant or with newborns was all too much. I wasn't epecting anymore. I felt alone and the wait was too long... I knew I was going to cry right there in that waiting area so I left and started bawling half way to my car. I was 4 months with this one. This was #3 and I am 22.
If you need to talk or to vent, feel free to do it here. We will be here for you. Make sure you grieve all you need to. You will have a healthy baby someday, don't worry. You just have to have faith. I am trying to.
Thank you both so much for your kind words.
I am feeling a little better now. I felt pretty good later in the evening and my husband took me shopping, so that was nice. I get very angry at other women who have newborns or who are pregnant, and I hate that. It's not their fault I miscarried, but seeing them hurts and I suppose getting angry is better than breaking down completly. I do have hopes to have a healthy live baby in the near future, my hubby and I talked about that tonight as well so I'm starting to realize that this was just one of those things you can't control even though you hope and pray that you could. We also talked about this baby, the one that we loved so much and never met, and I feel like that helped a lot. Just small things, who would he have looked like, where he would go to school, things like that... We talked about things we can do to remember him and that was nice too. I'll just take one day at a time and work through it, I'm just glad there are boards like this for support. Thanks again.
I am so sorry for your loss. I have just joined this board looking for ppl who know what I am going thru and yours was the first I read. I know how very hard it is to experience a loss of something that you did not even know you wanted in the first place.
I got preg last July and was thrilled bcs we knew we would be done having kids. It was our fouth so we were trying. I started bleeding like seven weeks into it and was told to go to the ER for a VUS...we seen the hb so they said al was good. We were out of state at the time so I was not at my doc's. We we got back home I made an appt and went in to another VUS and by that time I was a little over eight weeks....well to our suprise there were two sacs...OMG twins! I was scared and thrilled..always thought I would be the one to have them in my family...its a time bomb anyway for them to show up again. So I was put on strict bed rest for a week and then back for another US. I did all I was told to do and the bleeding just would not stop. I went back for my next US and there was no sign of the second baby. I was heartbroken and crushed to say the least. My doc told me and I started crying..he said oh did you want twins...did not set out to have them but once I knew I wanted both my babies.
Luckily I went on to have a healthy baby girl. I am being treated for PPD and there have been times that it has been hard. Today being Christmas has been tough. I just keep thinking why couldnt my other baby be here with us.? Ppl just don't know why I am sad bcs I got a healthy baby out of it. I still lost a child and it still hurts. I do feel guilty sometimes bcs I did have a happy ending and alot of ppl dont but I try not to compare. A loss is a loss.
I can only tell you to take it one day at a time and do whatever you have to to get threw it or deal with the loss. I hung up a stocking for our precious little one that is not here with us..it seemed to have helped.
hello everyone, i had a miscarriage at 7 wks on Dec 06, 2006, the day before i had some spotting, i called my dr told me to go to the emergency room was there 4 hours and they stilll wouldn't see me, so once my husband arrived he took me to another hospital theres where they finally saw me did an ultrasound and told me they couldn't see the heart beat i had a 50/50 chance of keeping or loosing the baby but the following dmorning when i woke i wnoticed i started to bleeding wheni went to the restroom with pieces coming out, thats when i knew i was loosing the baby since i had previous miscarriage in aug 2001, i was in the emergency room for two days i was devastated i still feel sad seeing maternity clothes or hear baby crying at the markets. but as times go by i get better we want to try again but i'm so afraid of loosing another one
You'll notice my name says Happy7, that was for last week when I was i the chat rooms for expectant Moms for Aug. Yesterday I went for my 2nd ultrasound at 9 weeks. 2 weeks ago I went for one and there was a heart beat and I started to let meself get excited. Yesterday, there was no more growth and the heartneat was gone.
The worst part is I haven't miscarried yet. But it's either going to happen in the next few days or I have to go to the hospital for a procedure. I'm just hoping that it happens on it's own. I don't want to go through that.
Yesterday I went into depression and feeling really sorry for myself (it took me 3 years to get pregnant) this morning I am still sad, but also angry. Why me? All me firends are having kids and none of them had any problems (not that I would wish it on them, ever) but it just seems so unfair that I have the problem. I'm here b/c I know I'm not the only one going thrr this and to get a better prespective and to have some hope that one day we will have a Baby. I hope it doesn't take too long cause I'm 37 and feel worried about that.
Thanks for reading.
Im sorry about the miscarriage. I miscarried at 8 weeks also. I found out i was preg very erly on at 10 days and every thing was going good. I had one spot of blood the dr wosent worried but a week later at my normal appointment my hcg had gone way down. They did an ultrasound and found that there was no heart beat but they also found that the baby was twice the size it was sapose to be so i had to have a dnc. This about killed my spirit because ive had problems with infertility for years but i still hold close to my hope that it will happen again oneday. I hope the best for you.
I'm so sorry for everyone's loss, we all go threw a stage that you cry and cry when i lost my angel 12-06 7wks i was in bed rest for the next 4 days my hb stood home from work to take care of me because i was in pain most of the time as if i was in labor, in the morning while he slept i couldn't help but lower the tv and watch baby story, i cried and wished that was me on tv having my baby, that helped me grieve writing in my journel helped me too. so all you need to do is find something that helps you cry for your loss and not hold that emotion in. but one thing i want to know is there anything we can do to keep are hormone level up and not loose the baby. i guess i'm just keep thinking what i could have done different and not loose my baby
I had a miscarriage a 8 weeks. I went in the day I started bleeding and the baby's heartrate was 150-160 which they said was great. Even at the worst of it the baby was ok and heartrate fine, but I went in for an altrasound and the baby was gone. Everyone says it happened for a reason which makes me mad. I was not even planning on getting pregnant but when everything went wrong I was praying for god to take me just to let me live long enough to hold the baby once. Everyone also says I am dwelling on it. It has only been one week since I have found out and It still hurts so much, I don't know what to do. I went back to work and most of the time I am ok, but when I go home it gets worse and I feel awful. It is much worse at when I am trying to sleep. I am exahsted and I can't sleep when I do sleep I dream about the baby being born and alive but not fully developed and people keep trying to take it from me and I just keep trying to save it. I am so devestated I do not know what to do and everywhere I look I see pregnant women or babies. Everywhere! Oh well just thought this would make me feel better.
Hi, everyone. I feel the pain everyone is talking about. I lost the baby at 8 weeks. I went to the dr on 2/26 and there was no heartbeat at the time I was suppose to be 9 wks but the baby had stopped growing at 8. I was in shock. My husband and I were sent to have an other u/s done the same day on the way to the imaging center I was in shock, praying on the way asking for this not to be true. But it was, there was no hb. I had a d&c this past friday. I cry everyday, not all day but for a few minutes. I can't help to think that I did something wrong. It is so weird, my life changed when I knew I was pregnant, I started planning things but it all came to a sudden stop. I feel sorry for my husband cause when he comes home I start to cry. I know I will get over the emotion of the loss. I don't want to see people and have to tell them cause it hurts to talk about it. I am going back to work tomorrow and I am worried about the questions and having to explain everything. I am scared of getting pregnant again but I will do again.
Hi everyone. I lost my baby at 12 weeks one week ago today and it's been awful, I'm still not back to work. THe pain and bleeding have been awful & I'm going in for a D&C tomorrow. I think I've already passed it naturally becdause the pain was so terrible like labour. When the Dr said it'd be like labour & I'd dialate I didn't really beleive him...plus I have nothing to compare it to but god I wasn't expecting what I felt. I'm still bleeding and it's been a week so I'm back to the hospital tomorrow. It's so frustrating I don't know why they didn't just do one to begin with. And I'm so sad and empty. I still watch baby story too.....I want to be pregnant again NOW. I'm so sad. My EDD was Sept 10th I had the next year of my life planned and now everything is gone.
hi, desmaggie. I'm very sorry for your loss. I feel the same as you do I want to be pregnant right now!!!! My edd was Oct 1, and I dont know how I will feel when that date comes around. I had a d&c so i didnt go through the pain of a miscarriage, I think the procedure was a better way to go. I had no pain during my pregnancy at all but had some bleeding and they told me it's normal most of pregnant women have some bleeding. I think we need to believe we can do it again, if I dont think that way then I start to cry. I believe that the angels are waiting for us. We will never forget them.
Yesterday was 1 week since my D&C and it was a hard day. I hate the questions every one asks like do you want to get pregnant right away? I don't know what to say to that. I'm so scared of getting pregnant again. What if I have any other miscarriage? I feel like I am going to panick when I found out that I am pregnant again. Thanks for reading.