Hi, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here but I recently suffered a miscarriage and just wanted somewhere to write about it and hopefully share similar experiences with other women. My husband and I have a beautiful, healthy 3 year old daughter and we'd been trying to conceive again for over a year, with no luck (i have polysistic ovaries). Finally, I fell pregnant in January and we were so thrilled. Initially I suffered a bit of morning sickness (just didn't feel the best, no vomiting), then the sore boobs set in and the tiredness. However, I felt very scared this time around - scared something bad would happen, always checking for blood when I went to the toilet etc. We saw our little baby on an ultrasound at 7 weeks and 1 day, then I finally felt a bit more relieved and allowed myself to get excited about the possibility of having another baby, and giving my daughter the brother or sister I know she'd love. As the weeks went by I felt great (still had sore boobs and was tired) but I remember saying to a few people that I felt almost TOO good. I asked friends who have miscarried if I'd know if something was wrong with the baby, if i'd know if the baby had died. I think subconsciously I must have known something wasn't right. They all said 'yeah of course'. The weeks went by and at 11 weeks I was happy that I was nearly at the 12 week mark, which would have made me feel alot safer (even though I know it's still possible to miscarry after 12 weeks). We told all our friends/family and they were very excited for us. I was into my 11th week and it was a Wednesday night when my daughter woke me up from a bad dream at 2.00am. She was crying hysterically and told me that she'd had a dream about a ghost. I tried to calm her down with cuddles and kisses, then about 10 seconds later I felt a trickle down my leg. I looked down and it was blood. I went to the toilet and there was lots of blood. I rang the emergency department at a nearby hospital and they told me that as long as there wasn't bad cramping it should be ok (it's common to bleed in pregnancy they said). They suggested I get some rest and see how things are the next morning. But I knew something wasn't right, even though they said it was common to bleed during pregnancy, I knew I shouldn't be bleeding this much, and I knew the blood shouldn't have been this red if it was 'normal'!! I eventually went back to bed and when I woke up there hadn't been anymore bleeding. However, when I woke up and started getting my daughters breakfast ready the bleeding started again. To cut a very long story short, I was taken to hospital and an ultrasound revealed that my baby was dead, and had in fact died about 3 weeks earlier at 8 weeks old. A missed miscarriage they called it. So for three weeks I thought I was carrying a healthy baby, but in fact I wasn't. The pain of my miscarriage was so severe, and the amount of blood I lost was ridiculous - eventually needing a d & c. I felt really empty and lost for a few days, and I did alot of crying. We told our daughter that the baby was very sick and had died, and was now in heaven with nanna and pop. She cuddles me and says 'its ok mummy, you can try again another day'. She has been great, keeping me busy and smiling which is what I need. Initially I felt like I let my husband and daughter down and I know it's not my fault, that there's nothing I could have done to prevent it, but it's hard not to think that way at times when it happens in your own body. It's been over a week now since the miscarriage and I'm starting to feel confident that I will eventually have another child when the time is right, but I'm worried that I'm 34 and not getting any younger. Anyway, I just wanted to write down my thoughts and feelings, and would love to hear from people who have been through similar experiences. Thanks for listening.
i had the same thing. When i was 18 i had gotten pregnant. I was doing fine up until my 11th week. i started bleeding one night while visiting my sister.. I asked here about it and she said that it was possible to bleed while pregnant. so i didn't think nothing of it condsidering that she had two kids already. So i went on for the next few days. In the middle of the night or early morning i should say.. (3.am) i woke up to severe pains.. i thought i was dying... i was taken to the hospital only to wait 5 hours before i was actually seen... They had finally told me that my baby had died at 9 weeks and my body was just now realizing it. I had to stay in the hospital for the whole day and i was so ashamed. i felt like half of me had died... at the same time though, i was relieved.. At 18 and pregnant.. it was due on Dec. 21st. christmas baby. Anyways i felt really bad that my baby had died and i was being careful. Maybe its just Gods way of saying its not time, but here i am now.. possibly pregnant again.. this time i hope its for real.. Good luck. I believe you will be able to have another baby. I know i am.. -kate
So sorry to have to meet you here...We are going through this at the same time. I am new here, too. I lost my baby on the 28th of March, although really about a month before. My best friend and sister are pregnant, we were all due at around the same time. I feel left behind. Easter was so hard, seeing family be so happy and not wanting to be the one to ruin it. I am so glad you have your daughter with you.
Its not real to me yet that my baby isnt there anymore. I didnt feel any different when he died in utero, then through the whole labor experience I was just emotionless, and now Im just blank. Very strange, Im usually upbeat.
Ive felt very comforted reading other peoples posts. ITs Ok to hurt, and to be afraid. IT seems there is always someone here to talk to, and no matter how you lost your little one, someone here understands. Take care of yourself.
Thanks for replying to my post pooger, and I'm so sorry for your loss - especially since you had to deliver your baby. I'm also in the same situation in that one of my best friends is pregnant. We both found out and announced to people that we were pregnant at the same time. I was due to have my baby on the 15th October 2007, and she is due on the 3rd October. We were going to have our babies at the same hospital, and were so excited about being pregnant at the same time. She feels really guilty that she's still pregnant and I'm not. I've told her not to walk around me on egg shells and that I want to hear about her pregnancy etc. Truth is I want to yell out how unfair it is. I'm very happy for her but I do feel jealous when I see her now, and probably a bit angry. It's so hard, I hate feeling this way. Anyway, best I can do it take it one day at a time I guess. This website is great in the sense of being able to talk to other people who have gone through the same situation as I have. I am very lucky to already have a daughter who has always been, but recently become more so, precious. I hope that one day in the near future you will be blessed with a happy & healthy baby, I will keep my fingers crossed for you, but take all the time that you need to heal. Take care!
Last edited by ems_mum; 04-11-2007 at 05:09 AM.
Reason: double up
Thanks for getting back to me kate, and sorry for your loss too. I wish you all the luck in the world with this pregnancy, and truly hope it all goes well for you. It's really nice to be able to talk to other people who have gone through what I have, because sometimes I feel like I'm just putting on this huge 'front' so people think I'm ok, because they have no idea how I feel. It's not until I read other people's stories that I can truly relax, think about my baby and cry my eyes out. Mind you the tears are never far away at the best of times. Take care and once again, I hope this pregnancy is smooth sailing. Mel
Last edited by ems_mum; 04-11-2007 at 05:09 AM.
Reason: no name
I have had 3 m/c's myself and it doesn't get any easier. I have 2 children who I had prior to my m/c's. I'm sad I had the m/c's and wasn't sure if I wanted to try again for our 3rd or not. I didn't want to go through the pain again. It's been a little over 1 year since I had my first m/c and I really try not to dwell on it. That may sound harsh to some women, but I have 2 children at home that I need to care for. I am VERY lucky that I had my boys to come home to after having each loss, not everyone has that. I was able to look at them and be very grateful for what I do have. A very close friend of mine who is a doctor explained to me after my first loss that it takes hundreds of things going right in order to have a child, and only one thing to go wrong to loose it. It made sense to me and helped me to accept what had happened to me and my babies. My sister in Law has been pregnant with me at the same time, each time. She also has 2 children and then had 3 m/c's as well. I think it helped each of us to have each other to talk to and to share our stories and hurts with. I am pregnant again and the worry of having another m/c NEVER goes away. I look at women like my mother and count my blessings that my m/c's happened early (1 and 2nd tri). My mother went full term and lost her baby 1 week before her due date because of a knot in the cord. May 4th will have been her "birth day" and every year my mother grieves a bit. I don't know how I would have made it through a loss such as that and again thank my lucky starts that I have my boys!
well thank you very much.. I will know my results from the doc on tuesday.. Baby dust to you all.. Good luck! It will be a wonderful experience one day for everyone.. When that day comes, embrase it.. lol I wish you all all the luck in the world.. i will pray for you ladies... -kate
Ihave Been Readingon Thid Board I Have Had Tolate Miscarriage On At 18 Weeks On Nov 14th,2007 And Ijust Recently Lost Another At 14 Weeks .i Had To Deliver Bothbabies.do Any Of Ya'll Knowof Any Test Ishould Askfor?