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Old 01-19-2009, 06:57 AM   #1
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Beccie30 HB User
Unhappy My baby would be due now

I am very low as the baby I miscarried in the summer is due now. I keep crying over nothing and I can't even look at new babies I see in the street.

I even feel bitter that they have theirs and I don't I know that's wrong and I don't mean too.

Is there anyone who can offer some advise to me as I'm not sure when I'll get over this. I thought I'd be ok by now, but I'm not.

Thanks in advance

 
Old 01-19-2009, 07:52 AM   #2
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precious49 HB User
Re: My baby would be due now

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beccie30 View Post
I am very low as the baby I miscarried in the summer is due now. I keep crying over nothing and I can't even look at new babies I see in the street.

I even feel bitter that they have theirs and I don't I know that's wrong and I don't mean too.

Is there anyone who can offer some advise to me as I'm not sure when I'll get over this. I thought I'd be ok by now, but I'm not.

Thanks in advance

Hello Beccie30,
Sweet girl--I'm so sorry for you're loss. It is something that you'll never get over but time does help and the Lord and support of my family made it bearable. I know just how you feel. My sister-in-law had a baby and I went to see them in the hospital. Another sis-in-law and my husband were with me. When we got to the parking lot--I broke down--my sis-in-law understood because she lost several babies also--she comforted me as my husband could understand but not really. It's not wrong to have those feelings--it hurts so bad, I know. I lost my 1st baby (a 7 mth. preemie) and my 2nd (full term-idiot Dr. that let me be in labor too long--I almost died too). BUT--one month after my sister-in-law took her new baby home we got a phone call from a Dr. that we had been in touch with and she said "Would you like to come get a 5lb. baby boy (named Baby Boy Love on the birth certificate) on July 28. That was many yrs. ago and though I don't understand why I had to loose my babies--I know that God blessed us with a Precious Son that is the Love of our Lives. Don't be fearful of trying again--but let your body heal and get as healthy as you can. If I had not lost my babies, then, I would not know what to say to you. I will never understand the "Why" but just know that I will be praying for you that God will bless you with a perfect baby that you will love so dearly. I just know that when we got our Son, we were so blessed and I think that we were better parents than alot of our friends that just "popped out babies without a care". They use to ask us why our Son was so well behaved and their kids were so unruly. I know why--we had to wait til God gave us our Gift and we really appreciated him. Please know that it's OK to cry and grieve and even be angry but it will get better and you will want to look at other babies when you see them. But give yourself time to go through the grieving process. I will always miss my babies but also know that I will see them in Heaven and that will be a Glorious Reunion. I pray that God will be with you today and that He will comfort you. precious49 God Bless You and Yours Today and EveryDay
ps--It was 1968 when I lost our 1st baby in Germany and 1969 the 2nd and I still have tears for them every now and then. They will always touch my heart.

 
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Old 01-19-2009, 05:57 PM   #3
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ddent57 HB User
Re: My baby would be due now

I,m so sorry for your loss. I lost a baby in 1990 5 days before my due date. The cord was around her neck. She was beautiful. I am an ultraound tech and scan pregnant mothers all the time. It was so hard to go back and look at those babies. My Dr offered this advice. He said I could empathize with the women in a way he never could because he had not gone thru this. Sure enough, within several months two of my co workers at the hospital lost babies. I made myself go to them and talk. i let them know the stages of grief they would go thru. I think it helped them. IKNOW IT HELPED ME. She had a purpose and didn't die in vain. There will always be an empty place in your heart, but with God's grace our pain eases with time. And just think, your baby is in heaven, where there's no pain, no sorrow, and you'll be with your baby one day.

 
Old 01-19-2009, 07:29 PM   #4
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Hope2Heal HB User
Re: My baby would be due now

Hello

I am sorry at your pain you face during the approaching due date. I lost my baby at 36 weeks and just recently mourned his 4 year anniversary. WE bought balloons and released them at midnight. I burned a blue candle and bought a beautiful white flowering plant.

I know what you mean about looking at others with their babies and feeling bitter. I went through this myself and in a crazy way I still do! Everytime I hear someone is pregnant I feel a little sick to my stomach. Even though I did go on to have a healthy baby after my loss, there is something about pregnant women that is hard for me to look at and seeing new babies still breaks my heart, despite the fact I finally had gotten one to hold.

Just keep in mind that it is possible you may see a mommy in the store or elsewhere with her new baby and she has had a loss herself. I know when I became pregnant for the second time to everyone else I was just another pregnant mom. But I knew the pain I had been through and that I was holding my breath through the whole pregnancy. There are so many women that have lost babies, especially through miscarriage. You may not be able to identify them by looking at them but many women hold the pain of their experience.

AFter I lost my son, I couldn't believe people I knew who came forward to tell me of their loss. One woman I knew had lost their 3rd child to stillbirth then went on to have a fourth. Because she seemed happily married with 3 kids I never thought twice of the pain she had been through. Many others came to me to tell me about their miscarriages. It helped me not to feel so alone in my grief.

KNow that there are other women out there that have gone through what you did and they have gotten through it and so will you. Keep online doing support. There are a lot of great websites out there including this one.

KNow that your little one and my little one are playing together tonite in a perfect place among the stars. . .
__________________
H2H

 
Old 01-21-2009, 02:55 AM   #5
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jsfai HB User
Re: My baby would be due now

Beccie,
It takes time and you must allow yourself to take whatever time you need. No one can say how long because it is highly personal but it is OK to take that time. Some people will not agree and think that a miscarriage is something to move on fast from and without much thought, but I understand and they are wrong....
Bless you and your little lost one.
J
ox

 
Old 01-26-2009, 02:33 PM   #6
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Beccie30 HB User
Re: My baby would be due now

Many thanks for your kind words, you are all so sweet.

I think I will always think about this and it now a part of me.

I know that death is part of life at the moment but very soon, Gods kingdom will restore earth to a beautiful paradise where sickness, old age and death will be a thing of the past. Rev 21:4.

I hope you find this helps you as much as it has me.

Take care all of you.

Last edited by moderator2; 01-26-2009 at 08:53 PM. Reason: posted disallowed website(s)

 
Old 01-28-2009, 10:30 AM   #7
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precious49 HB User
Re: My baby would be due now

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beccie30 View Post
Many thanks for your kind words, you are all so sweet.

I think I will always think about this and it now a part of me.

I know that death is part of life at the moment but very soon, Gods kingdom will restore earth to a beautiful paradise where sickness, old age and death will be a thing of the past. Rev 21:4.

I hope you find this helps you as much as it has me.

Take care all of you.
Beccie30,
Praise God--You are so right and that's what keeps me going knowing that someday I will be with my babies again. And as many years that have gone by, I still have moments when I break down, especially when I hear of someone like you having to go through the same thing. And the Bible verses do give us the strength to go on. Thank you for helping me precious49
God Bless You and Yours Today and EveryDay

 
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