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Old 07-10-2010, 12:36 PM   #1
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BabyBoyBerube HB User
Miscarriage at 19 weeks

Hello, I am writing this to see if anyone else has had the same experience as I have had and am wondering if anyone has been able to go on and have a healthy pregnancy.

I found out i was pregnant at 3 weeks; about 2 weeks later i started to bleed, so i brought myself to the hospital and found out i was having a misscarriage. I found out than as well that I had twins so one of them did not make it.

At about 19 weeks i went in for a check up to hear the babies heartbeat and my OB was not able to find it, so she sent me to Ultrasound where they examined and i had found out there was no fetal heart beat. They had told me that my baby measured at about 17 weeks, so the baby had been deceased inside me for 2 weeks. This was the worst day of my life. I was so emotional, my fiance and I were so excited to have our first child. So the same day they brought me into the office and talked with me ;my OB and a doctor, telling me that they will need to induce me and i will have to deliver my baby. This was so scary for me. That same night i went in around 6 oclock, they induced me at 9:30 p.m. and i did not have my baby until 6:00 A.m. the next morning. My fiance is a merchant marine so he is gone 6 months out of the year, three weeks on and three weeks off. I was so happy to have him there in the room with me and so thankful I did not have to go through it all on my own.

It has now been a week since i have delivered my baby and i cry at leaste once a day anytime i see a baby or someone who is pregnant. It is the worst feeling ever.

I have a follow up appointment in about a week so the doctor and I can talk about my test results and why this may have happened and all i can think about is that it was a genetic problem between me and my fiance and that we won't be able to have children together. I Love him with all my heart and him and I want children so bad i don't know what I would do if we were not able to have a healthy child together.

I have pictures of my baby and a video that the hospital made, Its wonderful i am so glad that they were able to do that for me. I look at the pictures and i watch the video all of the time. I pray every day/night that this will not happen again and that we will be able to carry a healthy child together. I will never forget about baby boy berube I Love him so much.

 
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Old 07-15-2010, 06:43 PM   #2
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GLSheridan HB User
Re: Miscarriage at 19 weeks

I'm so very sorry for your loss.
While testing will hopefully provide some insight, please know that you may be able to have children in the future. I know that doesn't ease the pain, but do not torture yourself worrying about the future.

After my own loss, I have done a lot of research about miscarriage and it seems like losses due to genetic abnormalities normally happen early, before 10 weeks gestation. As you were past that time, it's likely that something else happened. There are many conditons that can cause late loss that are treatable. Your doctor will be the best source of information on how to be tested for any conditions.

 
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Old 07-15-2010, 07:03 PM   #3
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Re: Miscarriage at 19 weeks

Thank You, its been two weeks today and i have my follow up appointment tomorrow to find out my results from all of the testing they had done. I am so anxious to find out i doubt i will be able to sleep tonight. I have done research every night for about 2 weeks now and i havn't really seen too much about genetic problems between the male and the female further than the first trimester. I just hope they can tell me what happened but i do know 50 % of the time they can not.

 
Old 07-21-2010, 05:07 PM   #4
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Re: Miscarriage at 19 weeks

im sorry i just lost my set of twins its so hard i was 12 weeks with identical twins i lost them july 11 2010 it was just like whatyou said but i lost them at home i held them in my hands and almost die in the hospital they gave me blood if not i would have died with them but thank god i can see my 2 girls grow-up and become woman im still not over it dont really think i ever will be i cant even look at a baby how long did this feeling last for you

 
Old 07-23-2010, 07:55 PM   #5
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Re: Miscarriage at 19 weeks

Quote:
Originally Posted by lalocayesy24 View Post
im sorry i just lost my set of twins its so hard i was 12 weeks with identical twins i lost them july 11 2010 it was just like whatyou said but i lost them at home i held them in my hands and almost die in the hospital they gave me blood if not i would have died with them but thank god i can see my 2 girls grow-up and become woman im still not over it dont really think i ever will be i cant even look at a baby how long did this feeling last for you
Lalocayesy, I'm so very sorry for your loss.
As far as how long the feelings last, it's hard to say. You may be able to accept the loss after a few months or it may take much, much longer. There isn't a set healing time and it depends on how each person deals with the loss.

I had a mother who experienced multiple losses tell me that the pain never goes away, but it will eventually plateau. It will always hurt, but you'll learn to cope and come to terms with the pain.

Take it easy and know that your overwhelming feelings are normal. Please feel free to send me a private message if you just want someone to talk to. I find that those who have never suffered a loss will never understand the pain and emotions that occur after the loss. For those people who have experienced loss, no words or explanation is necessary -- they just understand. My point is, I can't take away your pain, but I'm willing to talk if you think that would help.

 
Old 07-30-2010, 11:27 PM   #6
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BabyBoyBerube HB User
Re: Miscarriage at 19 weeks

I am sorry for each and everyone of your losses it is so hard to deal with, but i do have to say it has gotten better for me it has been a month thursday and i do have to say i am doing a lot better, better than i thought i would be. I recieved my results i caught parvo virus and seeing as a i was not already immune to it, this is unfortunately one of the viruses that will cross the placenta and harm the baby which is exactly what happened to me and my baby. My doctor wants to run a few more tests to check the shape of my uterus and a few others but he says my fiance and i should be able to start trying again the end of september. This made me happy and sad at the same time, happy to know we do have another chance but sad to know something as simple as a virus that didn't show any symptoms to me at all could actually harm my baby. He says 70 percent of us are already immune to the parvo virus but i was the 30 percent that was not.

 
Old 08-26-2010, 12:49 PM   #7
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Re: Miscarriage at 19 weeks

i know how you feel i miscarried at 16 weeks in march and i am currently pregnant now. i'll be 20 weeks tomorrow and i got the news last week that my plecenta may be detaching, so at any moment i could loose my baby. i dont know what to do, or what to expect. im horrified of what is going to happen. i dont know what will happen once my plcenta is completely unattached, im scared to death of what is goin to happen at the hospital what they will have to do....im so sorry you had to go thru this. i've been looking for people who have had similar problems to talk to, to see if that would help me to understand why this happens and what i am to expect :-(

 
Old 09-18-2010, 07:41 AM   #8
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Re: Miscarriage at 19 weeks

I just found out September 13th at my fetal ultra-sound to check my elevated Alpha Protein test and make sure our 19 week baby did not have spina bifida. I was not concerned as our first daughter had higher levels and they never she was born at 37 weeks completely healthy. I did wake up and when I went to the bathroom had some very light brown discharge. But I was not expecting to get to the ultra-sound and hear the lady tell me that the amniotic fluid was extremely low, I hadn't had any leaking of fluid. She was so busy checking the measurements of the baby and when I noticed her measure the leg bone at 16.5 weeks I stopped her and said, can you check the heart beat. There was no heart beat. They called the doctor in and confirmed no heart beat, no blood flow, and the brain was starting to sink. I was devastated. I was told I would need to go to the hospital within a week and be induced to deliver our baby. I didn't even find out the sex at that point. My husband and I went to the hospital the next morning, at 12pm I was given the first pill to induce labor. 4 hours later I was given the 2nd dose, by 6pm I decided I didn't want to "brave" through the contractions any longer and got the morphine drip, which did nothing to elevate the pain of the contractions, just makes you feel drowsy and out of it. At 8:07pm our Glory Angel Cruz was born weighing just 110 grams, measured 7 1/2 inches. He was absolutely perfect except he was very swollen around his neck. I had 24 vials of blood taken, they are doing a placenta biopsy, but all of these will take 12 weeks to get results. The nurse and attending OB think that he had so much room to move around and ended up twisting his cord severely, there were no knots but it's possible it was twisted enough he wasn't able to get enough from the placenta to survive. This is what I am hoping for as I had a completely healthy heartbeat at 16 weeks. It was at 146, now 3 weeks before it had been at 160 so maybe he was already declining, I don't know. I'm scared because this is our third loss in a row. I lost on in May 2009 at just 44 days pregnant, one in October 2009 at 8 weeks, and never thought I would experience one at 19 weeks, you think your totally safe once you get past 12 weeks! I disagree with the term miscarriage, I believe I had a stillborn baby. I'm upset that if it had been one week later, funeral arrangements are required, and more poor baby wouldn't be sitting in a morgue right now waiting for the medical examiner to determine his fetal age, when we already know he passed at 16.5-17 weeks. It could take 4-6 weeks for the funeral home to get his remains to be cremated! I don't get a death certificate because he wasn't 20 weeks.
But don't loose heart at having a healthy baby. My mother had the exact thing happen at 5 months and went on to conceive 6 months later and gave birth to my sister who now is a Mom herself. My husband and I have clung to making sure we glorify God in all of this. He has the ultimate plan, and while I don't understand right now why He decided to keep my Glory Angel, I know that something amazing will come out of our loss. We have decided to not try so hard to get pregnant again. I charted and took temperatures, timed ovulation, etc. for 17 months. With our son we seriously had a few glasses of wine one night and were like, lets have a baby, and we did. He is a healthy 2 years old. So I have to have faith that we can have the 4th child we long for to complete our family.

 
Old 10-24-2010, 09:34 AM   #9
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momoftrio HB Usermomoftrio HB Usermomoftrio HB Usermomoftrio HB User
Re: Miscarriage at 19 weeks

I am also so very sorry for your loss as well . I know how you feel as I too lost a child at almost 20 weeks. I will tell you my story in hopes that it gives you some insight as to pregnancy after loss.
I had already had 2 beautiful daughters , no previous problems getting pregnant and no miscarriages. My husband and I decided we would like to have another child. To my dismay we were actually having a hard time conceiving this time around. It had only been 4 months of trying but for me I got pregnant so quickly before I felt this was not normal for my body. After going through my cycle chart my doctor said though I was ovulation fine , my periods were coming to quicky , like every 22 days , so it was not enough time for the egg to actually attach before I started shedding again ! so she put me on one cycle of clomid and BAM ! First month I became pregnant. Went to all my appointments , everything was great . At the 18th week I went in with my family to do the measuring and find out the sex of our child. i knew right away something was not right. I had no amniotic fluid left , and the babies kidneys were extremely large and not functioning. So I was sent to a specialist at Mass general in Boston where I was again given the same news and told that the child would not survive outside of the womb. The doctor asked me to deliver the child because they would like to do an autopsy after to find out why this had happened and if was genetic or not.
I just could not bring myself to do it , so I opted to have it done under anesthesia and they would remove the baby. After the procedure , I went home and waited for results. Turns out it was not genetic and they really hadno idea what caused the kidneys to be so cystic and stop working , just a fluke thing unfortunately. So now lets go 7 weeks after my loss. Finally my husband and I were able to be intimate. It was very emotional for both of us but we felt very close and it was much needed. May I also say we used protection. Now fast forward 7 more weeks. I am in the shower and I just feel a pressure and bumpp in my stomach as I m washing up. I tell my husband that I think I may have an infection or something from the procedure a few months back. I felt bloated and like something was " off" . I called my obgyn and she asked me to come in for an ultrasoundd to just see what was going on . She had told me it takes a while for my body to get back to normal because my body felt like it had actually given birth. I had even had milk come in after the loss !
So I am in the ultrasound room with the same woman who had done my previous diagnosis. I am all by myself as well. She looks at the screen , then looks at me and smirks. She says , "there is absolutely nothing wrong with your uterus other than the fact that you are PREGNANT " !! looked at her like " Ha Ha funny funny " . She assured me that I was indeed not only pregnant but I was 7 weeks pregnant !. This was to be my little miracle child. I was in shock as was my husband when I called to tell him. The one night of love after loss had produced another child ( though we still question how! lol ). 7.5 months later I delivered ANOTHER healthy baby GIRL !!

Do not give up hope. You will be blessed someday .

I also asked after I had my daughter what the sex of the baby I had lost was , finally ready to know.
It was a boy

 
Old 12-11-2010, 03:11 AM   #10
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Re: Miscarriage at 19 weeks

I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you are feeling. I had a MC last year around Christmas time. It was so awful. I was about 2 months when I fell in my kitchen. I went to the hospital and the doctor didn't take it serious. A few days later I started bleeding.It was hard to cope with. My boyfriend took it real hard. I suffered in pain for days until my doctor order a D&C. I felt really empty and hurt. What caused even more pain is when i saw other women especially my friends being pregnant. My boyfriend is away at work for 8mths each yr. So that makes it even worst. This year I finally got pregnant again. I am 9 weeks. Oh the joy this brought to my boyfriend and I. Before he boarded the plane he asked me to be careful. I could really see how happy he was for this pregnancy. A few days ago i felt strange like something was wrong. I didn't have any tenderness in my breast but I really tried to ignore my feelings. I visited my doctor and he recommended an ultra sound. I did both trans-vaginal and abdominal ultra sounds.My feelings of fear and hurt were on the verge again. I could see the baby but no heart beat. I'm scared, I can't sleep or eat. The doctor who did the ultra just told me that I should expect symptoms of miscarriage over the weekend. Today is Saturday and I've not experienced anything as yet. I'm trying to think positive but I get so confused with so many headaches.I'm going to visit my doctor on Monday to hear what he has to say. I just spoke to my boyfriend tonight and explained to him how I"m feeling. I just feel that if I lose this pregnancy I will lose him too. The most painful part is when he told me that if this pregnancy doesn't work out he's not going to try again. I feel like my whole world has been shattered. I don't know how I will take the news when the doctor tells me about the ultra sound report. I don't know how my boyfriend will respond when I call him. Am I cursed or something? Why can't I have a healthy pregnancy? I feel like I'm going mad. I just keep telling myself that if the baby is dead, I just want the doctor to just remove it. I don't think I can wait on nature to take its course. Nature has already done what she needed to do. I just want to get over it once and for all. If anyone is out there who can pray me through this please do.

 
Old 12-11-2010, 03:20 AM   #11
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Jazmine98 HB User
Re: Miscarriage at 19 weeks

I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you are feeling. I had a MC last year around Christmas time. It was so awful. I was about 2 months when I fell in my kitchen. I went to the hospital and the doctor didn't take it serious. A few days later I started bleeding.It was hard to cope with. My boyfriend took it real hard. I suffered in pain for days until my doctor order a D&C. I felt really empty and hurt. What caused even more pain is when i saw other women especially my friends being pregnant. My boyfriend is away at work for 8mths each yr. So that makes it even worst. This year I finally got pregnant again. I am 9 weeks. Oh the joy this brought to my boyfriend and I. Before he boarded the plane he asked me to be careful. I could really see how happy he was for this pregnancy. A few days ago i felt strange like something was wrong. I didn't have any tenderness in my breast but I really tried to ignore my feelings. I visited my doctor and he recommended an ultra sound. I did both trans-vaginal and abdominal ultra sounds.My feelings of fear and hurt were on the verge again. I could see the baby but no heart beat. I'm scared, I can't sleep or eat. The doctor who did the ultra just told me that I should expect symptoms of miscarriage over the weekend. Today is Saturday and I've not experienced anything as yet. I'm trying to think positive but I get so confused with so many headaches.I'm going to visit my doctor on Monday to hear what he has to say. I just spoke to my boyfriend tonight and explained to him how I"m feeling. I just feel that if I lose this pregnancy I will lose him too. The most painful part is when he told me that if this pregnancy doesn't work out he's not going to try again. I feel like my whole world has been shattered. I don't know how I will take the news when the doctor tells me about the ultra sound report. I don't know how my boyfriend will respond when I call him. Am I cursed or something? Why can't I have a healthy pregnancy? I feel like I'm going mad. I just keep telling myself that if the baby is dead, I just want the doctor to just remove it. I don't think I can wait on nature to take its course. Nature has already done what she needed to do. I just want to get over it once and for all. If anyone is out there who can pray me through this please do.

 
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