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Old 07-28-2010, 07:13 AM   #1
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in shock..

hi, im new to this...
i guess im still in a state of shock, i dunno where to turn to, what to do or what to say....
im 41 years of age, a divorcee who remarried only 2 weeks ago, i absolutely adore my new husband and he adores me, people comment on how right we are for each other. 6 days ago i ended up in the local casualty dept as i was having a heavy period and it had been going on for almost 4 weeks, now like i say im 41 years of age, have been married before, had a couple of long term relationships and never ever fell pregnant, or had pregnancy scares so after all this time just assumed i couldnt have children, its never been an issue, but i guess deep down inside its always something i have longed for, but never had investigated as to why i havent ever conceived...
so 6 days ago i was told i was pregnant, almost 10 weeks and that i was having a miscarriage, all in one breath... its been absolutely devastating, i had to stay in hospital to have the amniotic sac removed, receive doses of meds to remove the remaing 'products', endure horrendous cramps and watch helplessly as i passed all these 'products' knowing what my body was expelling...
after coming out of hospital my husband literally packed us a bag and whisked me off to london for a few days where we literally holed ourselves up trying desperartely to come to terms with what has happened. we only got back to our home town late last night, and today is the first day i have been on my own and i cant stop crying, i dont know what to do, what to say, my head is all over and its awful...the phone wont stop ringing, family and friends they mean well but i just need to be left along and am clockwatching desperatley for my husband to be home in a few hours where he too is in a state of utter turmoil at work keep ringing me constantly...
this is like a nightmare. i hope it ends soon.

 
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Old 07-28-2010, 08:54 AM   #2
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Re: in shock..

I am so terribly sorry. What a tough thing to go through.

Sue

 
Old 07-28-2010, 11:02 AM   #3
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Re: in shock..

elle, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I unforunately don't have any magic words to ease the pain. While my pregnancy was not a surprise, the loss definately was unexpected, so I do understand what you're feeling in that regard. It's a feeling without words -- just knowing that you'll never experience what "could have been," knowing that there was a child inside of you who you didn't even really know, but loving that child.

Do take some time for yourself to heal. It may take weeks, months, or longer. You may start to feel better, only find yourself drowning in saddness a few days later. The emotions come and go, but time will heal. You will never forget, but the pain does plateau and you can at least "deal" with the loss. But come to that "dealing" place in your own time. Those who have never experienced loss may not understand and will assume that you're "over it," so be prepared. Just take time to take care of yourself for now.

Please feel free to send me a message if you'd like to talk.

 
Old 07-29-2010, 12:21 AM   #4
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Re: in shock..

thankyou x

 
Old 07-29-2010, 12:28 AM   #5
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Re: in shock..

hi, thanks for your supportive message.
today is day 7, seven days ago today, still i sit and think of the what ifs, and hope and pray (normally im not a religious person) but my god how can life be so cruel, i always hoped in vain i would have children. i remember lying in bed with my hands over my tummy the night before the scan thinking OMG im pregnant, i lay awake almost all night almost savouring the moment as i knew what was ahead of me, for that short time i was actually pregnant and its that part i cant get my head around. the staff in the hospital ward were absolutely lovely, my husband and i must of been the talk of the place as everyone was coming up to us after the 'procedure' to hug us, commiserate with us, its like something you read of in a daily womans magazine, married 2 weeks only, falls pregnant after almost 20 years of trying only for it to be snatched away on ur second week anniversary.
i really dont know how i am ever going to get through this, the pain i am feeling is undescribable, my husband is walking around on autopilot absolutely numb.
when will it end.

 
Old 07-29-2010, 08:21 AM   #6
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Re: in shock..

Please give yourself time, and if need be, you and your husband should go for grief counseling together.

 
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