Hi, I decided to post here because I don't talk about this with anyone in my real life because it's too painful to discuss. I hold a lot of things in. And.. I actually had a friend say I should just get over it when it came to the pain of the miscarriage I went through. She said it "wasn't even a baby yet so get over it." Needless to say, I have distanced myself from this person.
I miscarried in May of 2010. I was a little over 4 months pregnant. It was absolutely horrifying and painful. I had just found out it was a little boy. The father of this baby had disappeared by this point. He is a wonderful person, but I guess he just wanted nothing to do with me. I have no hard feelings toward him although it has taken me a long time to reach this point. I had anger for a while, but now I just have indifference. Mostly I'm just really depressed.
I started having dreams about a baby about 2-3 months ago. The same baby appears in my dreams twice a month or so. He is beautiful, small and warm. He has silky black curly hair. I'm holding him while he sleeps in my dream. I can even see what he's wearing.. I can even smell him.. I can even feel his hair and his soft skin while I'm caressing him. These dreams feel real. When I wake up, I want so badly to hold this baby. I believe he is my baby in my dream...
So I guess I came here because I wanted to see if anyone else has had similar experiences. In a way, the dreams are comforting but the are also difficult because when I wake up, I wish I could really hold my baby, but of course I can't... and for that reason, I sort of want the dreams to stop. The dreams are very surreal. I've never had a dream where it was so sensory or life-like.
I started having dreams a few months after my first miscarriage. I never found out the gender of my baby but in all my dreams, he was a boy. My dreams were not pleasant and they haunted me. He was always in a crib and cried but I couldn't get to him. No matter how hard I tried, he was always just out of my reach. Much later on, my dreams became more pleasant. A lady that was a resident at the nursing home I worked at passed away (real-life). I was so close to her that she was like family and it was my first lesson at putting up a wall between myself and the residents. I took her death hard. The next dream I had of my baby, this woman was holding him and he looked so peaceful. She just looked up and smiled at me and I just knew that everything was going to be "ok".
A few summers ago I went to have my tarot cards read. The psychic said she was a medium and there was a woman trying to reach out to me that was driving her bonkers. It was my great-grandmother. She said that she is with my babies (I've lost 5 altogether) and to not name my baby after her. At the time, I was pregnant with my 7th, and my husband I were trying to find a way to incorporate her name if the baby was a girl. I was only about 9 weeks and still unsure if we were going to be able to make it with this pregnancy as problems were starting again, but grandma told me through the medium that I WOULD hold that baby in my arms. And I do, everyday
As for your friend, I know how you feel. A few of my friends were very insensitive to the point that I completely withdrew from everyone around me. One of my friends unfortunately experience the devastation of miscarriage herself and I got a call from her apologizing for all of the horrible things she ever said to me. I hated that it took her going through one to understand how I felt each time I lost a baby. I also was glad that she would hopefully go forward being more sensitive to people's situations.
I have not had any dreams about my miscarriage. I wanted to more respond to what hopefully your now ex-friend said. NO one knows what you are going through until they have expirenced it themselves, and at 4 months? I cant imagine. I lost my baby at 8 weeks and 5 weeks later I am still depressed and sad. No one can understand the ache of loss that you feel after loosing a baby. Im so sorry someone was rude enough to say that to you. I hope that your dreams are comforting to you and help you to know that your baby is safe, and I hope that one day soon you do get to expirence holding your baby in your arms.
Last edited by Administrator; 01-24-2012 at 09:25 PM.
Hi, I just wanted thank u For posting this and being so open. I'm also terribly sorry for your heartbreaking loss and for the cruel and insensitive words your former friend said. We found out Monday at our very first ultrasound at 10 1/2 weeks that our baby stopped growing at 6 wks. I was devastated. I still am. They gave me meds to pass the baby but nothing happened for 3days, so today I had a d&c. I miss my baby so much, and waiting for the miscarriage was just awful. So monday night as I'm trying to get some sleep, just bawling my eyes out, I asked God to show me the baby in my dreams that night. When I fell asleep I saw a face of a beautiful little boy smiling. He looks just like my first and third with the dark hair all my boys have, his was similar but tinted like he had been out in the sun. I immediately recognized him and believe his hair was like that because Hes always in Gods light in heaven. I read a book last year called heaven is for real. He talks about there being no sun in heaven, that God is the constant light. Well I pray God gives me more dreams of him. We had really thought we were having a girl this time so I was surprised to see a boy, another reason i truly believe this to be a God given dreamto me. and we named him Jordan Manuel. Im so grateful for this dream, as its helped me start healing ',and im glad to hear yours too. They ARE alive in heaven and one day if we can be with them forever.
I want to say I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage in 2009. Matter of fact, yesterday made it 3 years. I can't recall any dreams of the baby but I definitely saw her. I was crying one night really bad about losing her and I felt this calmness come over me. I had my eyes closed but then I opened them and standing by my bedside was a little girl, with black hair, in a white dress and she was looking at me like to say "mommy, please don't cry. Why are you sad?" It made me feel as if she was trying to tell me that she was okay. She looked about 2 years old in the vision and by then she would've been 2 years old if she had still been alive. I saw another vision of her when DH and I were TTC our 4th son and I happened to be ovulating on the day I had lost her (this was last year, my son is now 3 months old). I remember lying in bed crying because I wasn't sure if I should try that night to get pregnant or would my daughter feel like we were trying to replace her. But when I saw the vision something told me it would be ok. So we did try and we found out 2 weeks later that we were expecting. On one of the first sonograms we had, the technician printed the picture out. I noticed a little cross sign on my uterus right next to the baby. I always said it was a sign that the baby was blessed. My son was almost born 3x premature due to my water leaking. Thankfully though I went to full term. As a matter of fact, I went passed my due date and had to be induced at 41 weeks. My son came out ok but he had severe jaundice due to our blood types being different. My blood affected his and his levels weren't going down. He had to stay in NICU for a few days. It was very hard. But I believe that cross sign was a sign my baby boy is blessed and I have a feeling my daughter has something to do with it.
Last edited by Administrator; 08-07-2012 at 06:31 AM.
Dear these are only dreams same case was happand with one of my relative and case was same as your .SO after abortion this may happen .For this purpose you must consult with PSYCHOLOGIST .Don't worry this is one type of simple disease and no need to worry he will give you medicine and you will be fine in few days and all the dreams will not come again.
Thank you to everyone who posted about coping with the loss of a baby. I miscarried about a year and a half ago and I have had 2 dreams of my baby since then. In both dreams, she looked like my husband with short, sandy-brown super curly hair and blue eyes. (Both of my kids look like me with olive skin, super dark hair and dark brown eyes.) I really thought I was okay by now, but just this morning, my 4-yr old told me she dreamt she was playing with her sister last night. I asked if she meant her little brother, and she said, "No Mommy, my sister." I asked her what her sister looked like in her dream and she described her almost exactly how I have seen her in my dreams. All of a sudden the feelings of our loss have came surging up again. But I also feel glad knowing that in both of my dreams, and in my daughter's dream, she is happy and playing. I guess I don't know what to think. I feel very appreciative for others who have shared their experiences, I was starting to wonder if i was normal or not, so now I feel MUCH better. I don't think I will ever completely heal from this loss, but I look forward to someday meeting her in heaven where I can hold her.