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Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board
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Old 11-08-2011, 02:08 PM   #1
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nygirl81910 HB User
telling an ex about a recent miscarriage

Me and my ex were together for over a year. We had a wonderful long distance relationship. We had a very loving and caring relationship...he is actually a true gentleman. We never fought or had a disagreement that lasted more then a few minutes, we felt that we didnt spend enough time together to spend it fighting. We were openly loving to each other, we told each other daily and every chance we had to tell each other that we loved each other. We talked about me moving to be with him, marriage and children. In matter of fact having kids together and getting married is all we ever really talked about. Unfortunately I am nosey beyond belief and I dont know why I did it but I looked thru his phone and I found a text from a girl and it was a pictures of her breasts. Never did I or do I know think that he cheated on me. He did tell her that he didnt want to talk to her and that she shouldnt have sent him the picture...he didnt know how to delete it off his phone, he only purchased the phone a few days before. I confronted him about it and it caused an all out blow out. He left my house and that was the last time I seen him. We never officially broke up and we talked about working on our relationship and just when things were getting a little bit better he sends me a text message saying that this is going to work out that his job schedule is changing and that he will be starting school. It wouldn't be fair to me to move there and still only see each other a few hours a day. I lost it and was a complete emotional wreck. Three weeks went by and he wouldnt talk to me at all (defriended me and my family on Facebook, not answering my texts, calls or emails). I just wanted answers as to what happened and how things got as far as they did. We finally started talking the other day and I laied everything out on the line and told him how I felt and that I wanted to be with him, whatever it takes. He said that he loves and misses me but he cant trust me and trust that I would never do it again, and that he is still mad at me...I want you to know that the whole phone thing happened 5 weeks ago. I asked for the chance to prove it to him and told him that we need to talk to each other and that I know that if I dont hear from him I know his decision. Well the other day I was cramping really really bad...I actually just thought I had a bad stomach flu or something, until I started spotting and I noticed some clots. I went to my Dr and she asked me when my last period was and I didn't know because I am irregualr. She immediately took blood work and I did a urine pregnancy test. The test came back positive, but the blood work came back with decreased levels. She did a ultrasound and it was certain I was pregnant, but I was miscarrying. She said I was approx 8 or 9 weeks along but the fetus was no more then 3 weeks developed. I did have a complete miscarriage and everything is ok, my health is ok and everything is ok. I want to tell him, but I don't know how he will react. I love him with everything that I have and I want to be able to tell him, but I don't want him to think that I am trying to force him back with him or that I am lying to him. I just need his emotional support. No one knows and for my own reasons right now I don't want to tell anyone. I just dont know if telling him is the right thing to do.

The reason I am having doubt about telling him, is because his email account is on my computer and stays logged in and while he is talking to me he also signed up for a dating website and has been talking to another girl. He even said to her about meeting for dinner in the next few weeks. They exchanged phone #'s and emails and are now friends on facebook. He doesn't know that I know all of this though. I want him to know about the miscarriage but if he is telling me we can "talk" about our relationship but he hasn't made his mind up, and he is talking to this other girl...should I tell him?

 
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