Urgently need advice please help
I normally post over on CFS board as I've recently been dx by Neuro and Rheumotoligist. Over the past few months, I can't begin to describe the 'episodes' I am going through.
The most recent one started last night. I'd just had reflexology and at the time couldn't catch my breath. At the same time, I noticed that when I turned my head my neck and parts of my back were in extreme pain. But ok when I 'centered' my head again.
When I got home last night, lying down made it ten times worse. I then got pains radiating over the back of my head to my forehead and I just felt spaced out with problems focusing.
When I went to bed (after taking 2 tylenol PM), my body felt tired, I was drowsy but my muscles wouldn't relax. I just felt tense all over my body. I tossed and turned until around 4am then managed to get 2 hours sleep until around 6am. I keep getting jurks all over my body. When I do sleeep I have vivid dreams/nightmares, and it's as though I'm awake and asleep at the same time.
When I woke up this morning, my mind wouldn't stop racing with nonsense thoughts (as it has been doing for months now). I then started to panic and started crying thinking I am going crazy. When I was trying to get ready this morning, I just feel dizzy, sick and very panicy. I feel light headed, as if I'm walking on air.
I just keep thinking that if I goto hospital and they run a CT or MRI they are going to find something wrong with my back/neck or spine (or will they just pack me off to see a Psychologist?!?!
I know it's not all in my head and I have so much trouble explaining to other people the symptoms of this. It's not like a broken arm where you can point to the problem. It definately feels like my nerves are shot or something. Then I start to worry about MS. I had a Brain MRI done in Dec 03 and it came back normal (this was the onset of the symptoms). Apparantly, my Neuro said he wasn't concerned about MS.
I was like this for four months (Sept 03 - Jan 04) and then had some good months with mild symptoms (Carpal Tunnel, Hemeroids, odd nightmares and waking up early - but they were managable).
The strangest thing with this, is that If I look at someone or talk to someone I loose my train of thought, I just stare and I can feel how uncomfortable the other person is talking to me. I get jumpy and just want to escape. I can't concentrate on a conversation because of the pressure behind the eyes/forehead. I feel stupid. This is episodic. It comes and goes.
I don't want to be here anymore. I'm sick of trying to explain how I feel. AM I GOING CRAZY?
I have taken a valium (which I hate doing) to try and calm down this morning. I think it's kicking in. WHY does this fix the problem? Why can't the cause be treated and NOT the symptoms.
I FEEL SO DOWN AND SICK OF THIS!.
Sorry for burdening you with all off this rubbish but I can't make sense of it anymore. I'm petrified at the thought of being like this for the rest of my life! I have a 2 year old son and Wife who I desparately love and want to take care of but feel I can't even look after myself. I'm not strong!
I just look forward to better things to come at the end of this (in this life or the next!)
Take care & Thankyou for listening.
Tests taken so far : MRI Brain - Normal, no lesions. Blood tests normal. Thyroid, normal.
Confirmed DX so far : TMJ, Carpal Tunnel, Saliva DHEA/CORTISOL abnormal (lower midnight cortisol, ELEVATED DHEA), Liver ALT elevated (60?)
Awaiting : SPECT scan, Endrenocoligist (spelling?), Vestibular function testing (1 year waiting list!), CBT.
Onset Sept 03 - Dizziness when leaning forward followed by brain fog/loss of concentration/pressure feeling. Tinnitus, IBS, Chronic insomnia. Eased off Jan 04 - Oct 04. Now worse symptoms than before!