| Re: how long does mild ms stay "mild"
I sure understand you wanting to enjoy life NOW, Arai, yet agree - there has to be some kind of balance. Perhaps your wife is as afraid of being left alone to shoulder the responsibility of the debt by herself, as you are of missing out on some of the finer things life has to offer?
My husband couldn't handle the extra work-load he sometimes had to shoulder when my MS flared up, and hated the disease, eventually transferring that hatred to me, so he left. Now I've got the debt, the work, and the illness, but guess what - I'm still finding the time and the money to enjoy life NOW, too. (Actually, it's better now!)
My suggestion would be to discuss all these things frankly with her - your disease and how you both feel about it, the potential for future decline - or not, your need to feel like part of society and enjoy some of the things your peers are doing, and her need to feel safe should anything happen to you. Talk together with your doctors if that will help, and sit down with a family counsellor, too - outside guidance can often help get to the root of a problem that you're both too close to see, and help you find solutions.
This is a nearly impossible disease to predict, and I think that's one of the hardest things about it to handle. I've been in a wheelchair and housebound, and now I'm back working, raising my kids, and training and competing with my horses. Hopefully, with the help of modern science and good medicine, things will stay this way, but I'm sure not gonna bring down my "good times" with "what ifs".
Unfortunately though, I'm doing it all alone (save for my beautiful girls) - every man I've met has "run for the hills" when I've told him that I have MS, so I think you have something really great going for you - a loving partner at your side! Don't take that for granted....
MustangFilly
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