So tierd from this.. - Multiple Sclerosis Message Board

M3lissa · 02-22-2005, 12:56 AM

im so tierd of this thing that has seemed to be taking over my life for the past year.
It all started with pain in my back and weak/tingly/burning hands and feet. then came the part where the left side of my face felt numb, ringing i my ears, and a strange vibrating weird hard to explain feeling inside my head with dizzinness and a sence of fullness in my ears. it was surgested by my boyfriend that i get my eyes tested, so i did. in a result that i did need glases. at this point i was suposed to be receiving a letter with a brain scan date on it after much time being messed around and not listend to by my doctor, which really got me down. after a week of wearing my glasses i thought that my eyesight was to blame for it all so i ignored it. that was in september and now its back! im really weak again especially in my left side and i never did receive my brain scan letter. no one believes me! everyone moans and says oh dont start that again. im terrified and feel like screaming. even my own boyfriend doesnt understand and i need him so much. i cant carry onbeing left in the dark. i feel so alone and i just want someone to find out whats wrong and beleive me. the reason im here is after much desperation i decided to do some reasearch myself. and as this thing seems to go away completely and come back out of the blue it led me to ms. any ideas?
im also scared that if it is ms as to what kind of life im going to be left with. but mainly im scared of the fact it might scare my boyfriend off or that he mare be doomed to a life looking after me.

thankyou

mel xxxx

ps. im 19 from nottingham/ uk

tkdted · 02-22-2005, 05:28 AM

Hi Melissa,
First thing I suggest you do, is write off to your GP and let him know that you have not had your scan yet, then you have it on record.
MS effects people very differently, some have it very mild and it is just a nuisance, so try not to worry so much, it may not even be MS.
Take care
tkdted

sunshine149 · 02-22-2005, 11:08 AM

I agree with the last post, push for an MRI and soon. Go to a different doctor if you can. As far as all the "ifs" go, you can not concentrate on this. If you lose your boyfirend etc. etc. It's hard not to let your mind jump around and to let fear get a hold of you but it will not do you any good in the "here and now." is there a friend or family member you can talk to??

Arraicha · 02-22-2005, 11:31 AM

I agree with the other posters and want to add, if your boyfriend can't stick by you through this, then either he isn't right for you or he isn't ready for something so serious. You could try, however, to get him involved concretly. Have him come to appointments with you, get him to give you massages and remember to thank him whenever he does something to help. That way he'll feel like he's being there for you and not helplessly watching you suffer.

For the alone feeling, I found that posting on message boards like this one helps a lot because you get to hear from other people in the same situation as you.

tooobuzi · 02-22-2005, 04:59 PM

Melissa,
I totally understand how you feel. I have been trying to get a solid dx for over a year. After my inital neurologist appointment I went for tests and then would have to wait forever to get back in to see him, then he would send me for more test and then have to wait to see him again. I decided to sort of take things into my own hands. Yes, I continue to do as my neuro directs but I have also gone down some different roads too. I am seeing other doctors in hopes that they might have some other ideas. I went back to my primary care doctor and kind of asked him to think outside the box. One of my worst symptom is dizziness, so he is going to send me to someone that specializes in dizziness. Sounds strange but I am really excited to get to get see him. I also went and had my eyes checked again. I was fortunate to find a really great doctor that spoke directly to the woman that would be fitting my glasses and told her how important that they fit correctly on my face, that if they didn't it could increase the dizziness feeling.
I understand your feeling alone in all this because unless you live it there is really no way to explain it fully to people. I try to explain to my boyfriend but he really still doesn't have a clue. The thing that helped us was him coming to my appointments with me. He was able to ask questions and heard everything the doctor was saying so that he knew I wasn't just full of it. It also helped me because he is helping me do the things the doctor told me to do. Thing like reduce your stress, get plenty of rest, eat right... all the things I was not doing. It has made a difference. The symptoms have not stopped but they have noticably reduced.
All you can do is keep a positive attitude. That alone will take you a long way. Then just don't give up. You know something is going on with you. Keep seeing doctors until you get an answer. And remember to kind of think outside the box.
Use the message board to vent if you need to. That is what it is here for, support.
Think happy thoughts! :-)