UpbeatinAlberta

I was diagnosed 4 years ago with Relapsing Remitting MS. I've decided to start Copaxone and I'm waiting for the drug co. to get me started. My last attack started on Aug 19/04 with complete numbness in both legs from the knees down to the toes. Got the dreaded IV treatment for 5 days followed by 6 weeks of prednisone. Residuals from this last attack and previous attacks are pain in right arm from the previous attack with a feeling that someone is digging out my blood veins. Pain in both feet. This last attack lasted 7 full months. It's been he11. It was during the last 2 months of this saga that I decided to go on the Copaxone. Well, to my utter surprise my neuro treated me like I wasn't sick enough to go on the drug. He said things like "it's very expensive...how do you intend to pay for it"? Suffice to say he seemed very against me going on it but I insisted. We drove 4 hours to see him and I wasn't leaving without the prescription. I've done all my research and I KNOW that I qualify for it (2 attacks in the last 2 years and a letter from your neuro is all it takes to qualify in Alberta). It was a very difficult decision too ~ who really wants to stick themselves every day? I also applied for and was approved for drug coverage. I advised my GP of the treatment from my neuro and I told him that perhaps when he sends his patients to the neuro he should tell them to look "sick". I always go out of my way to NOT look sick. I put my best face on, makeup, clothes and a smile and do my best to do everything my neuro asks of me during an exam.....well stupid me!! Maybe I shouldn't try so hard and I'd get just a little bit of bedside manner out of the guy. Anyways, I just want to do everything I possibly can to hopefully fend off future attacks. I believe that by taking the drug I am doing myself a favor (or not, who really knows) but if I don't take the drug and continue on this downhill slide I don't think I could forgive myself. Have others had similar experiences? Just when I felt confident and in control of my MS I was shot down. Was it because it was MY idea and not the neuro's? I wonder. I should mention that I went to see him in October and at that time HE offered me the choice of drug therapies AND had his nurse instructed me on them but I wasn't ready for that yet. Then 4 months later I'm ready for it and it's like he forgot about all that. It kind of makes me second guess my decision. I'll be 39 this year and have a lot of living to do and want to make sure I do everything in my power to be healthy enough to do all the things I want to do. For me, my husband, and my kids. My kids (age 23 & almost 15) aren't aware of my MS yet and I sure would like to see my almost 15 year old through high school before I have to tell everybody. I have a strong support system with my husband, Dr., Neuro's nurse, sister and parents. For those of you already on copaxone, was it your decision or your Dr? And, did you feel like you had to jump through hoops to acquire what should be your right? Just wondering because I see people quoting the length of their MS and the treatment they're on.....and it just got me thinking. I don't post a lot on this board but I read it almost daily as a lot of the posts I can relate to and does help me! Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Sandra