I have been bottling up my fears and concerns because I am trying to hope for the best. I feel like if I talk about worst case scenerio it will become more of a reality. But I really am about to have a breakdown with all the things going on inside my head... so bear with me ladies! I did the 5 day solu-med. and I felt great. My symptoms were improving and it looked promising. Then I had the lp and was in bed for 4 days. Here I am 1 week after the lp with the same severity of symptoms as before the solu. med and maybe alittle worse. I hate to say it... but I think the ON is starting in my other eye now too. I have been feeling out of focus. I chalked it up to the meds and being in bed. But now I really feel as if it's bilateral ON. My muscle weakness in my left leg is as bad as it's ever been. I am back to dragging my leg when I walk and needing to hold on to anything in sight to take a step. My neuro is on vacation. I still dont have all the lp results. But the few they got back were normal... and my MRIs were normal a few months ago. I am so discouraged and scared to death at the same time. My worst fear is that this is Devic's syndrome like my neuro originally thought. Now he seems to be leading toward MS. But they need to be treated differently. I dont see much room for error here. I am 20 years old... have a beautiful 3 year old son and am scared out of my mind that I will not be capable of raising him. Whether it be mortality rate... blindness... paralysis... I am just so scared. I have so many people around me who will listen to me... but I am not one to continue to talk about it. I did my crying and question asking... and now it seems to be a waiting game. Im not good at that. I really dont know what to think and as much as I try to think positive I already have anxiety and think the worst of every situation. I feel like I need to have a good cry with someone who will just sit there and not say anything. Sorry to vent... something tells me you guys understand... but I am sorry. Thank you for everything
