M.S. is ruining my relationship. - Multiple Sclerosis Message Board

ablostinms · 08-28-2005, 05:44 PM

I feel kind of weird putting this out there,but my husband and me have been married for seven years now. Since I was diagnosed two years ago our marriage seems to be falling apart. He wants me to pretend like nothing is wrong,and continue on like "normal". I've lost my sex drive among many other things and now I feel lucky if he speaks to me nicely. He seems to think that I am pretending to feel like this. I tried having my doctor talk to him. It just doesn't seem to work. Nothing does! I feel so lost and alone. I have four little boys to take care of ,and I can't work. So I stay. Does anybody else feel this way?

evolution88 · 08-28-2005, 06:29 PM

Albo,
I'm so sorry to hear things are tough between you and your spouse.

I'm afraid many people, even those close to us, do not understand the problems we often have. I'm lucky in that my parents are very understanding and helpful, unlucky in that I don't have a significant other to lean on.

I guess the only thing I've found that helps others around me to be more understanding, is when I have a good day, I make sure I tell them. I try to make sure I spend time around my friends and family when I'm having a good day. That way they can see the difference and sense that there are indeed ups and downs to MS.

Hang in there, and we'll hope for better days ahead!

lah · 08-29-2005, 01:40 PM

Sometimes we don't want to admit that someone we love is sick and can't do all the things they use to. My husband is overall very supportive and helpful but he has his moments when he wants me to be like I use to. (I think it is a little easier for him to deal with me because his mom has MS.) I know it is hard for me sometimes because I feel like I am not able to be the wife and mother I want to be. I have two kids (8&3). It helps us to talk about it, I have to be vocal and say "I just can't do it" or "I really need your help with ..." which is difficult for me. Maybe you could find a support group for couples dealing with MS and the effects it has on your marriage. I hope you the best of luck with your situation.