im scared
wish me luck
tomorrow i have to see a psychiatrist
sw said i am hallucinating and psychotic. because i seem distracted and kept looking round the room.
i explained my vertigo and visual probs and family history
no one believes me.
im worried they will section me.
i cannot prove i am not hallucinating.
i tested my own reflexes. then got my bf to test me.
no response in my arms.
and babinskis reflex produces no reaction in my feet, but twitching in my thighs.
but can i get a doctor to test that??????? nooooooooooooo
its all 'im my head'
an SHO did test reflexes in my arms. i thought it was odd cos nothing in my arms or hands moved. he did it about 10 times in each spot.
then told me my nerves were fine. and not to come back. and that i was bad for coming to a&e in the first place.
one of the fingers in my right hand i can stick pins into and cut and i cant feel anything.
so so so scared
they could section me
for having no insight into my psychosis and refusing to take medication for it.
but, I AM NOT FRIGGING PSYCHOTIC!!!! I AM NOT HALLUCINATING IN ANY WAY!
but i cant prove that
my bf held me tonight while i twitched every 30 seconds.
but he cant come with me as he has a prior doc app.
i rang nhs direct and a private gp. they both said i need to see a neurologist.
but no one in this town will refer me.
currently trying to find a private gp. they do exist.
i will pay anything and go anywhere.
to stop the pain.
and other symptoms
(v embarrasing. slight urinary incontinence
)
im almost tempted to get the bus to another city and walk into their a&e with long sleeves so they dont see my scars and dont know my psych history.
sorry
i know i am whinging
but its so frustrating and insulting to be told i am insane and imagining it all by doctors that dont even examine me, or have reflexes ignored by lazy doctors who dont know whats wrong with me so just send me away.
i have contacted PALS by email tonight.
considering making a formal complaint to the primary care trust.
what do you think?
dora
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