Kinda sick of it all - Multiple Sclerosis Message Board

lilc · 02-15-2006, 05:41 PM

I suppose a person gets used to this after a few years. I suppose a person would also grow more grateful over time about not being debilitated. Me, I've only been dealing with it for a year now, and I'm sick of the strange new ways this disease comes up with to make me feel rotten. (Legs now, numb and aching, stiff...) I'm also sick of the fact that it is invisible to everyone else. JUST SICK OF IT...

baddoey · 02-15-2006, 07:34 PM

i totally understand. when people ask how I am doing i say " i have some good days and some bad" - what i really want to do is scream "half my face is numb, the bottom half of my right leg tingles, and my right eye just isn't "right" and that is just the way that it is. . . when people start complaining about the small stuff in their lives, i want to tell them " you are so lucky to be healthy, so lucky"

KelliD · 02-15-2006, 07:54 PM

Wow...do I ever understand. I'm so sorry you're going through this funk.

I did fine for the first year...then went through a time of depression where I would be in tears at having to give myself the weekly shot, not to mention the constant ambushing of my body by this disease bringing on fear & stress.

Through a lot of prayer and change in diet, I am now feeling EXCELLENT. Lilc...not everything makes sense, and we may not understand why -when we are people of faith- we are suffering. But we DO know the One to Whom we belong and we are assured that He works all things together for the good of those who love him and who are called according to His purpose....He has plans to prosper us, not harm us. Plans to give us a hope and a future....and He loves us with an everlasting love.

One day at a time, dear...one prayer at a time...hang in there.

lilc · 02-16-2006, 03:25 AM

It's funny how God works. Got an e-mail from an old friend, a guy that trained me several years ago, world traveller, young, WEALTHY, "world on a string" type. His wife is scheduled for a mastectomy next week, breast cancer. NOW who's the "lucky" one!
On those days when I start to feel sorry for myself He gently reminds me that I am still blessed.
Kelli, I HAVE been paying attention! While I know it isn't entirely the change in diet (smile

I'm thinkin' about my own diet!
Thanks, baddoey, Kelli!!!

kelpie · 02-16-2006, 11:01 AM

Hi lilc - I know exactly what you mean too - and when one doesn't have a good support system, imagine how difficult it is. It's very frustrating when even one's own family - who see you on a day to day basis - don't get how life altering these sx are.

I realize there are worse diseases. However one still has to deal with symptoms as they present and when the symptoms interfere with one's ability to earn a living, to drive safely, and people can be so cold when it comes to understanding this, because after all, one looks "fine", right?

I appreciate what you said to baplap about patience, though I'm about out of mine. (sx for 3-1/2 yrs - no diagnosis) But Saturday I go to the MS specialist again to hear the results of my LP, and though I really don't want to hear "MS" - I do want a definitive answer so I know what my next step will be.

Sometimes just the courage to face something like MS is so difficult to find. Especially when friends and family aren't there emotionally. I guess this is the 'dark night of the soul' I've heard about. God be with us all.

(sorry I'm depressed at the moment)

kelpie