MS and dating... - Multiple Sclerosis Message Board

curious11 · 06-12-2006, 03:36 PM

When is the right time to tell someone you like that you have MS? Obviously every situation is different, and I know there is not one set rule... but it's such a hard thing to judge. I met this guy, and we have been talking for a few weeks. We have hung out a few times but it was very low key, so he didn't really get to see any of my symptoms (walking issues). I met up with him the other night and we were just talking. He saw the Baclofen rx in my purse and asked me what medication it was? I redirected the question somehow, and never answered him. That would probably have been a good segway into the fact that I have MS. But I am not sure if it's the right time. I don't think it will ever be the right time to set myself up for rejection. So I don't know. I can feel myself wanting to pull away and find an easy out because this is giving me alot of anxiety. I really like him though, and I don't want to seem deceitful. So how long is too long to keep something like this from someone? I know it has more to do with me actually being able to say to someone "I have MS"... I have yet to do that. Sorry for venting... but thanks for reading

prissy190 · 06-12-2006, 06:28 PM

Well, I told my boyfriend that I had MS when he saw my injection sites on my arms, which was about a week or two after we started dating. He asked what happend to my arm and I simply explained that they were from the medicine that I take for MS and I gave him a little information about my condition. And from there I allowed him to ask any questions that he might have and voice any concerns. We have now been together for a year and three months. He has been a great support through everything and has taken it upon himself to learn as much as he can about MS to get a better feel for what I am going through when I am having a "bad" day.

I wouldn't be too concerned about telling the guy you're seeing because MS is nothing to be ashamed of. You didn't ask for it nor is it punishment for somehting you did wrong. I think that he will be able to pick up on your attitude toward your condition and that may sway how he feels about it. If you come to him with a negative attitude toward the disease then he is going to pick up on that and it may scare him. It is important that you stay calm and allow him to ask questions and you answer them to the best of your ability. If you can't answer a question then be honest and tell him, you don't know the answer.

curious11 · 06-13-2006, 08:02 AM

You are absolutely right, Prissy. I think I need to be "matter of fact" about the situation. If I am not comfortable talking about it, how can I expect someone else to be comfortable accepting it?

Thank you

prissy190 · 06-15-2006, 08:13 PM

Curious,

I am interested to know how your talk with your friend went.

curious11 · 06-16-2006, 06:32 AM

Hi, prissy! I have not talked with this guy about my MS yet. My real only night out is on the Saturday's that my son is with his father. I could arrange to see him much more, but the fact that I haven't told him yet, has kept me from doing that. Telling him will open alot of doors. We are getting together tomorrow night, and that is when I plan to say something.

Do you think I should start the conversation with "Listen there's something I want to tell you..." or should I wait for him to pick up on something, and then nonchalantly explain the situation to him? I think I should go with the latter... sitting him down to discuss it may scare him. I don't know. I am just going to go with the flow, I guess. Sometimes I wish I had a sign... "I have MS, if you can't handle that, don't talk to me"