In tears- - Multiple Sclerosis Message Board

MILLSC · 06-13-2006, 07:44 AM

Hi everyone..

I am SO depressed, I can't quit crying. I feel horrible. I can't sleep at night due to a feeling of stiff muscles, its like I need to constantly stretch . The fatigue is so bad, I can't even get out of bed without feeling exhausted and have to get right back in. I feel like an invalid. What is wrong with me? The neuro says "possible MS" and is taking a watch and wait approach- only 1 lesion on brain MRI and I can't get him to order a spine MRI. Meanwhile, I am going downhill...maybe its a flare because I definitely can pinpoint the day when it started. I have a terrific husband but feel so guilty that I'm physically unable to do what I should be doing. It's awful.

Last night, I also had my right thumb just start twitching while watching tv and while asleep my right arm jerked hard like I was intentionally moving it.

Can someone please tell me the symptoms related to brain lesions vs. sympyoms of spinal lesions?

I'm sure depression is not good for whatever is wrong, but likewise, neither is whatever is wrong good for depression. I feel caught in a vicious cycle- like I'm on the losing end of a fight with a pitt bull.

Sorry for the rambling, I just get overwhelmed with this emotional rollercoaster ride sometimes and know that no matter how supportive my family may be, no one will understand until it is experienced and most of you guys have been dealing with this far longer than myself. My heros

God bless!

StephanieAnne · 06-13-2006, 09:48 AM

Hi MILLSC

I know exactly how you are feeling, because I was there. That stretching thing was always like a sign that I was relapsing, hate the stretching thing, everytime I stood up had to stretch. Have you talked to your Neuro about maybe you are having a relapse and can he prescribe anything for that? I was so in your position, you just don't know what to do, so you keep on doing what you should, work, housework, etc... and all of that is so exhausting, and because you havn't gotten a dx, stress is building up and that doesn't help and now you are at the end and all you can do it cry. Yup we have all been there one way or the other.

What about talking to your neuroconcerning how you feel and about the MRI of the spine, and bring that pit bull that you are fighting with you meaning you be the pit bull, and tell the dr what you need, you can't live like this, and so maybe you need a new neuro? I remember my neuro saying ok I'll see you in 6 weeks and I was NO I need some help NOW!! you can say that to your dr, and if they don't like it, politely ask for copy of your file and find a new neuro.

You have to take charge, do research on MS and what tests can be done to rule it out or to dx. Be an informed patient. All I can tell you is stay out of the heat, and hot showers, drink lots of water, and rest even if it is not sleep just resting will help.
I hope you feel better let us know how things go ok?

Heddi · 06-13-2006, 12:58 PM

My heart goes out to you because I have been there and felt the same way on and off throughout my bout with this illness.

I am not certain of the defiinite difference with brain lesions and spinal lesions but I have large lesions on my spine according to the doctor and that is what causes me to have issues with my legs. I feel sensations constantly and have lost the ability to walk unassisted twice.

KEEP ON KEEPING ON, THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

duttin · 06-13-2006, 01:44 PM

Millsc,

I can relate.its like a vicious whirl pool with out a life jacket.

You need to call your neuro and basically tell him,I have come to the conclusion these DRs work for me.Some neuro's are blind to the fact of what we go through.
It took my hubby to call and get mad.I suffer from chronic leg spasms,coming from the thoracic area.There's nothing worse than not being able to stretch those muscles.There are meds available to help.
You need to get mad,go see that neuro and fight like that pitt bull.I had to literally get mad and determined to argue with my neuro about a diagnosis.Limbo land is no help and the stress and a depressive state don't help the disease.Besides the c-spine mri,your neuro can do a lumbar puncture for step closer to a diagnosis.
I remember the days of crying.
Keep fighting
Prayers to you
Toni

sunshine149 · 06-13-2006, 02:41 PM

After 9.5 years with MS, I still have my days of crying!!

Generally, it is thought that spinal lesions indicate problems with mobility (including those in the cervical spine).