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Old 04-19-2007, 08:51 AM   #1
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Do you blame your parents?

It's almost 8 months I have diagnosed, I did not start medication yet, because I want to get pregnant.

I would like to know if anyone of you have MS have a parent with MS as well. Do you at any time blame them for your condition?
I am the only one in my family diagnosed, so I couldn't know.

 
Old 04-19-2007, 01:17 PM   #2
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Re: Do you blame your parents?

Hi Thes,
My parents did not have MS, but I can tell you that even if they did, I would not blame them for my MS. From all that I have learned about MS, it is so unpredictable, you really can't tell who will get it and who won't.

Like you, I am the one and only with MS. Lucky us, huh?

I do have a daughter and I hope and pray every day that she does not get MS. I would not change having my daughter, though. I am blessed to have her in my life. She is the reason I get out of bed every day even if I don't feel like it.

I hope this helps you some.
Karen

 
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Old 04-19-2007, 02:26 PM   #3
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Re: Do you blame your parents?

I am like you none of my family had MS. I was DXed in 2002. I know all of my dad's side of the family,and only a few of my moms. My Mom said that none of her family had it either. She had herd of it but did not know any thing about it. If either would have had it I don't think that I would hold it aginst them. After all they like us wouldn't Have a choice in the matter. But at the same time it is hard to say how you would react to any situation unless you are faced with it. You do pose an interesting question. I Look foward to reading the true answer. As a parent I can tell you that I worry my children will one day be DXed with MS. Every time one of them has a symptom even remotally the same as mine it is the first thing that comes to my mind.

Last edited by unclesam612; 04-19-2007 at 02:32 PM.

 
Old 04-19-2007, 08:26 PM   #4
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Re: Do you blame your parents?

Genetics does play a role in developing MS. This is pretty neatly demonstrated by the disproportionate number of female sufferers. There are also slight trends within families.

But its only one facet in the larger picture. It is more likely that we have done something that is otherwise unnocuous and blindly brought it upon ourselves. Even that is a silly line of thought, because if you don't know that an otherwise benign activity / exposure will contribute to acquiring MS, how can you avoid it?

The simple fact is that there is nobody too blame. It just happened, and that's one of the things we need to learn to deal with - seemingly at random being singled out by the universe for this crappy disease.

Last edited by NathanMc; 04-19-2007 at 08:27 PM.

 
Old 04-20-2007, 09:56 AM   #5
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Re: Do you blame your parents?

My mother has MS, and my neuro has not ruled out MS entirely in my case.. only my MRI did not show any lesions. My sister has also been tested (I'm not sure what was done in her case), because both of us have symptoms very similar to our mom's. In my opinion, I don't think I could place blame on my mom if I were diagnosed with MS, because.. Well for one thing, it's not contagious. I *may* be more likely (or more vulnerable) to MS, but that's just because of genetics. She didn't know she had MS until I was in my early teens. Our family in general is just chock full of health issues, that all seem related somehow. My son has Autism- which many doctors feel is autoimmune in nature. I don't know why he has it, but I surely didn't "give" it to him intentionally. Something in his genetic make up made him more vulnerable to it. If he wants to blame me when he's an adult, I suppose that would be his problem. He could argue I could have chosen not to have kids.. or that if I knew my genes were screwy, why would I want to pass along ANYTHING to my offspring? But my daughter seems healthy thus far.. so you really never know what the future holds. Blaming parents would be pointless.

 
Old 04-20-2007, 10:14 AM   #6
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Re: Do you blame your parents?

Well I am happy to announce that I am your newest member to the "lucky me" club. I too am the only person in my family to be diagnosed, believe me we traced it back very far.

I absolutely do not blame my parents. I couldn't have asked for better ones then and now. I often get nervous that I am passing on this illness to my kids (who were born before DX) but there is nothing I can do now. I just pump them with vitamins and try to give them the right nutrition.

You also have to remember that when most of us were born or being conceived MS was not very popular or heard of so therefore the chances of your parents even being aware of the illness, genetically or environmentally was slim.

With their help, in addition to my hubby and kids I am doing wonderful. last scan was clear. So rather than attributing them to my illness I like to attribute them to my success!!!!

 
Old 04-20-2007, 07:24 PM   #7
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Re: Do you blame your parents?

There are alot of studies being done on the epidemiology and genetics of MS. To date, the MS society says the chances of it being hereditary are less than 3%. No one knows for absoutely sure that this is true, but I think its safe to say that there is something, which makes us more suspectible to developing MS than hereditary issues. Between living further from the equator and lack of vitamin D, and being Northern European in nationality, there are all sorts of things which MIGHT be the cause...
There is a new study being done which suspects that auto-immune diseases in general might be hereditary although they might show up diffrently in differnt members of the family. Should be interesting to see how that plays out.
I am the only one in my family to have MS as well. And, I definately cannot blame my parents, even though my mom has reuetoid Arthritis, another autoimmune disease...she developed it shortly after I was dx with MS.
Interesting topic and thread..thanks for putting it out there.
Nikki

 
Old 04-21-2007, 09:02 AM   #8
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Natatude HB User
Re: Do you blame your parents?

Quote:
Originally Posted by carebear3510 View Post
Hi Thes,
My parents did not have MS, but I can tell you that even if they did, I would not blame them for my MS. From all that I have learned about MS, it is so unpredictable, you really can't tell who will get it and who won't.

Like you, I am the one and only with MS. Lucky us, huh?

I do have a daughter and I hope and pray every day that she does not get MS. I would not change having my daughter, though. I am blessed to have her in my life. She is the reason I get out of bed every day even if I don't feel like it.

I hope this helps you some.
Karen
Amen Karen!!!!!!!!! You took the words right from my mouth and said what I would have, had I been here first lol I would not blame my parents, my dad however blames himself for the reason I have it due to him serving 2 yrs in VietNam and being sprayed with Agent Orange. I have a brother that was being tested for it a yr and a half ago, but he will not finish the testing cause he says he doesn't want to know, because he is not strong like me and won't be able to handle it,, every time I see him I stress the issue to finish the tests, I think he is also scared of the MRI machine, but I told him there is also a Open MRI available for ppl that are claustrophobic. No one else in our families either side have been diagnosed with it, I am the first, My grandfather was diagnosed with mini strokes and dementia since he was in his early 30's he has lost eye sight in one eye they said Mini stroke, and I sometimes wonder if MS is what he has, but since he is in a nursing home now and 84 yrs old, they will not test him for it. No one should blame their parents for any illness, cause there are alot of genetic things such as diabetes, Heart disease and so forth that u do not know u have till ur older and ur kids are already grown, so I personally do not think children should blame their parents for such issues!

 
Old 04-23-2007, 02:34 PM   #9
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Re: Do you blame your parents?

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Originally Posted by Natatude View Post
Amen Karen!!!!!!!!! You took the words right from my mouth and said what I would have, had I been here first lol I would not blame my parents, my dad however blames himself for the reason I have it due to him serving 2 yrs in VietNam and being sprayed with Agent Orange. I have a brother that was being tested for it a yr and a half ago, but he will not finish the testing cause he says he doesn't want to know, because he is not strong like me and won't be able to handle it,, every time I see him I stress the issue to finish the tests, I think he is also scared of the MRI machine, but I told him there is also a Open MRI available for ppl that are claustrophobic. No one else in our families either side have been diagnosed with it, I am the first, My grandfather was diagnosed with mini strokes and dementia since he was in his early 30's he has lost eye sight in one eye they said Mini stroke, and I sometimes wonder if MS is what he has, but since he is in a nursing home now and 84 yrs old, they will not test him for it. No one should blame their parents for any illness, cause there are alot of genetic things such as diabetes, Heart disease and so forth that u do not know u have till ur older and ur kids are already grown, so I personally do not think children should blame their parents for such issues!
Natatude
My sister was diagnosed with a rare disease called scleroderma, which is an auto immune disease like MS. It is so weird. We don't get the normal things like most people. We have to get the rare diseases that no one is sure the cause of, nor do they have a cure. Neither one of us blame our parents, though. We would rather concentrate on dealing with our diseases and making the best of a not so great situation.

 
Old 04-23-2007, 07:38 PM   #10
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Re: Do you blame your parents?

I'm the only one in my family with MS. My mom has peripheral neuropathy - which from what I understand also has to do with the nervous system (only MS is central nervous system and what my mom has is peripheral). No one really knows if MS is genetic, etc. I suppose that maybe my mom having some sort of neurological condition could have genetically contributed to me having MS. But I don't know and I don't care even if it did. I have never ever for even a second blamed my mom. Even if it is some sort of genetic thing - how is that her fault?? It's not. Not at all. I have a great life and thank her for that and for the fact that she's a great mom. What's the point in trying to point the finger? All I know is that for whatever reason I have an illness. All that counts, in my mind, is that she's supported me 100% since I was diagnosed. I wouldn't trade her for being MS-free in a million years even if it was a fact that I somehow "got" MS from her. And I wouldn't love her one iota less. I'd rather have MS than a different mother (regardless of any genetics).

 
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