I feel like youre the only person Ive chatted with today!
Thats okay. You sound the person who needs help the most today!!
Lets see, You want to know how to hide this? No. I honestly do not think there is a way. Having been in your shoes, I know the pain and misery you are feeling. I do think that as patients (with any disease) we should TRY not to complain unless its necessary. I think that when it IS necessary to ask for help, and need assistance, we get taken more seriously when we arent complaining 24-7. Does that make sense? The old "boy who cried wolf scenario".
As far as worrying about the Dx. Be careful what you wish for. I am dx with MS, and I wouldnt wish this on anyone...the other side of that is the sooner you get a dx, the sooner you get to start on MS Drugs, which will probably help to slow down the progression. I realize this. Im on Rebif, myself. However, there are many ways to rule out LOTS of other diseases, the B-12 you talked about, Lyme, brain infections, all can be ruled out...and usually with a Lumbar Puncture, or Spinal Tap. Have you had one? They arent as bad as they sound, but they are necessary. Even if legions do not show up, O-bands might show up in the spinal fluid...this is a test which you willl probably have at some point, if MRI shows nothing, and you might even have if MRI shows legions. I have over 50 legions on my MRI, and I still had a Spinal Tap which showed NOTHING! But, it did rule out Lyme.
You need to slow down friend. I know when you read many of my posts you are going to think that I am jumping on you. IM NOT. I honestly am worried about you. Although I truly feel for you, and understand your frustration at not having a dx, and your pain....you dont want this, and you dont want to self diagnos yourself. You cant do that. People will stop taking you seriously, doctors in particular. Ask on the board, how many people have been told they are "self diagnosing" or that "its all in their heads' becaue they reaserched the heck out of something, presented it to their doctors, and within seconds, ruined any chance of getting a doctors honest opinion? Doctors want to run tests, and watch for signs, they dont want us telling them what we think. We arent the ones who went to med school all those years...
Please know that we are here for you. We all care. I care. I want you to try to relax...anxiety is getting to you more than anything. Try to relax. (But not in a hot tub, ok?