Originally Posted by Sahuja12
I have a friend who never asks me how I am doing. I thought she was such a close friend and she has cied and confided to me about SO many of her issues... and when I told her of my MS she backed away.. Weird.. Whatever. I think it scares her...
I have a friend that is just like that. I have always been there for her, she is never there for me. I finally realized its just how she is. So, I limit my contact with her. I still enjoy her company and we still get together occasionally, but I NEVER talk to her about my problems as she either doesn't care or can't handle it. I don't know which. Personally I think its selfishness on her part. Everything is all about her. Now that I know that, I accept her for what she is and realize there are now limitations on our friendship. Fortunately I have other friends that are very supportive. Should I quit being friends with her? I don't know. I would hate that as we do have a lot of fun togehter, but I know that's all it is now is fun. I do think friendships are a two way street, but face it, some friends are just better friends than others and if you know she's not going to be supportive, either move on, or accept the friendship for how it is because its probably not going to change. I am willing to accept my friend for what she is and still be friends with her, but I know now that we will NEVER be bosum buddies that share everything. Thank goodness I do have someone I can do that with. I have always said my friends were like concentric circles. The inner circle are good, true friends through good and bad. The next level are good friends, but we don't have the same bond as the inner circle. The next level are fun friends that I see to have a good time with on occasion, but don't share a lot of my life with and the final circle are merely acquaintences with whom I do share some similar qualities, but for whatever reason, we have not advanced to a closer level of friendship.
I know it hurts. I was hurt for a long time, but once I decided to just accept the friendship with its limitations, I could get over the hurt. I just know I don't have an outlet with her when I need it so I go elsewhere. Oh and I limit how much I let her lean on me now. Sorry, but she can't have it both ways. I learned to say no. It was hard, but it didn't matter to her when I did say no, so I realize that maybe she sees us on a different friendship level than I originally saw her.