CJRT

I just got back from the doctor and he was wonderful. I mean, really truly patient, kind and took a LONG time with me. He wants more tests run, but he does feel that the symptoms I exhibit "can be" indicative of MS along with the previous testing I've already had done. He doesn't want to give a Dx yet and I can understand that. I have definite muscle weakness in areas and neuropathy in both feet. He said my fibromyalgia diagnosis was most likely an attempt to shut me up and give me something when they wouldn't look for anything else. He seemed especially disgusted when I told him about my previous neuro visit where the doctor wouldn't exam me and told me it was all my weight. (which I've since lost)

I've had such bad doctors that it was a real pleasure to have such a good thourough one who LISTENED to me. And I really liked him and his staff and I think he's going to be able to give me answers and help me. He did suggest Cymbalta which I can't take because I had a HORRIBLE reaction to it previously. Then he suggested Neuronton, but said he wanted to wait before prescribing that. So I got nothing in the way of help at the present time except the promise that he would find me some answers. Which believe me, I am ecstatic about. He's done more in 1 hour than anyone's done in 4 years. And he gives me hope.

Now that said, I've sat here and cried for 15 min. after getting home. I don't even know why I'm crying. Isn't that pathetic. I've spent 4 years dealing with all these problems, been shunted to every known specialist, had all kinds of testing, proding and poking, been dismissed, been treated like an idiot and now that I finally feel we are getting somewhere, I have totally lost it. The only problem I do have is that I am having a MRI done next week, but he doesn't want to see me again until Sept. 12. I'm so frustrated, been on such a long journey that another 2 months just seems interminable to me. I had to wait 2 months to even see him the first time and now 2 more months. I want some answers and something done NOW. Is that too much to ask? My arms and hands are getting worse and frankly it scares me and it keeps me from being able to do much of anything. Amazingly enough, I don't have much trouble typing, but I can no longer scrapbook, write long handed or do anything that really requires hand co-ordination. I was trying to cook last night and was so frustrated that my hands just would not do what I needed them to do. They shake almost constantly now except of course, in the neuro's office this morning. It's scary and its frustrating and I'm just over all of it.
My other problem is that I am only going to have insurance until Aug. 31 and then I don't know what I'm going to do. I know we can't afford the medication I am on now once the insurance runs out, so I don't know how we are going to afford more doctor visits and more medication. At least I'm getting the MRI done before the insurance runs out.

I should just delete this as its just a long, whiney, pity party, feel sorry for me post and I don't intend it to be that way.
I'm home by myself, and have tried calling my husband and my best friend and neither are available. So I guess you guys get to hear my whiney, crying vent. I'm sorry. I know I should be happy, but I think that I've been pretty positive for so long and today just unleashed a torrent of pent up emotion that maybe I didn't even know I had.

And I know that I will be fine soon. It's just the initial stuff today and I think once I talk to my husband I'll be ok.

Thanks for letting me get my pity party over with here.