Courage to do Copaxone injection " alone" ? - Multiple Sclerosis Message Board

twink65 · 01-05-2008, 03:30 PM

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted in a while spent some time last night in the wee hour's thinking and crying. I'm into my second month of copaxone. Let me say it is starting to mess up my love life big time. I never dare do my shot alone for fear of the ( BIG REACTION ) everyone warns about. So I wait till my husband get's home and I have him do it. usually right before we go to bed..... So there I lay with either a heat pad or Ice .... not being able to turn over. or even as much as ( cuddle ) with my hubby. It's always, dont touch me or it may hurt, poor guy never knowing which area not to give me a little squeeze or a hug.

I need to get the courage to do the shot on my own ( in the mornings ) but I am alone during the day. What happens if I have the dreaded ( heart-attack like reaction ) has anyone experienced this while being alone? are you in any condition to call 911 if needed? will I have this fear forever?

I purposely missed my injection last night because I needed that intimacy of just holding my husband ! He fell asleep and I just layed there and cried. He always does my shots and I worry I am becoming a ( patient ) to him. an un-sexy SICK woman. My self esteem right now is about at negative 10. Do you ever worry about not being enough for your husband? or that feeling that you have lost your lover? We are very close emotionally and physically. I just HATE the every day reminder with copaxone that I have a chronic disease and always will have. It's taken all of the spontaneous moments out of my life. It's enough to make me want to switch to a once a week injection. However my neuro is really worried about my depression with the other medications.

Please help....

un-sexy, isolated, lonely, and scared SICK person !

GothicRosie · 01-05-2008, 04:45 PM

You can do it.

I have faith in you. If you have not had an adverse reaction as of yet, you may be fine....how long have you been taking the copaxone? I take my shot around 10:30pm, ice it then wait until 11 or so to go to bed. That way the stinging/burning effect has worn off and my hubby and I can get busy if we so wish...I make sure to let him know where I injected so he does not touch me there and we are all good.

If you want to do your shot in the morning, I say go for it. You will be fine.

I'll keep you in my thoughts though.

Cheers,
rosie

taosdaphne · 01-05-2008, 05:40 PM

Buck up and just DO it, as the Nike ads say. Your fear is getting in the way. My partner has to do back of arms and high hips because I can't reach them. If you haven't had the "heart attack" sensation yet you probably won't.

But what I hear in your words is aversion to the whole idea off being ill,mixed with fear that your husband won't find you sexy anymore. You ought to try wearing paper diapers to bed if you want to feel unsexy! You are still who you were before the disease--just need to make some accomodations. Do you have a trusted friend who could sit with you while you self-inject (I'm assuming you use the auto injector?) in the morning? Then when hubby comes home you won't be a patient to him--you'll be the wonderful woman he married and ready for roses and chocoate (or whatever!). Have you spoken to your husband about these fears? A counselor or one of the MS nurses?

I'm fortunate in that my partner suffers from vasculitis and we're both on pretty strong antiepressants and don't often feel in the mood for sex. But we make plans for it when we are both having good days. I shot her up with Enbrel for years, so she's pretty cool with injecting me.

Do try to tal to both hubby and a professional about this. My guess is that hubby is more stressed by your strss than he is by the disease.

Best of luck!
Daphne
ps I've decied to be the best-dressed disabled person in town--cheers me up. Try keeping up w makeup etc--tho mascara is a challenge with MS. But I know blind people who put on makeup beautifully,and they are my inspiration!

Erin524 · 01-05-2008, 06:04 PM

If you havent had that big reaction, you're probably not going to. I'm still kind of a newbie at doing the injections of C too, and I've been doing them alone the entire time.

The only time I've had help was when I had my dad give me an injection in the back of my right arm. (never again, he injected too fast and that's the only time I've had the BIG reaction, and it's the only time I've not used the autoject) I'm the only who injects myself now.

The reaction was a bit scary, but it wasnt as scary as some people make it out to be.

Plus, if I, a total scaredy cat when it comes to needles can do it (I cant watch when I get a shot of something at the doctor's office) You can probably do the injections alone.

I showed my boyfriend (I dont live with him) how I do the injections once when I first started doing the injections. He thought it was pretty cool that I could do it by myself...and I wasnt scared to get intimate with him afterwards. He was just really careful to not bump the injection site (my thigh)

Plus, the boyfriend may soon have to start injections of insulin for diabetes, so he was pretty impressed that if I could do it for MS drugs, then he could probably do it for insulin shots if he ever needs to.

april1848 · 01-05-2008, 06:31 PM

My husband does my injections, though not copaxone, but it's not a huge deal for him because he's a tattoo artist. I am not ready to do it myself yet, and I know I need to. I'm not ready yet.

After my diagnosis I felt very unattractive, and I still often do. I bought more stupid beauty products than I care to admit. I bought another one today. It seems like I need so much to feel attractive. I feel guilty sometimes that I'm robbing him of so much--this is a family disease.

I know that some day his caretaker responsibilities may expand way past injections. I told him that he might have to catheterize me one day--and talking about it makes it easier. Still, there are a lot of fears there and I don't think that talking to a professional would be a bad idea.

The fact that your husband even does your injections suggests that there is a lot of love and intimacy there. You probably feel more unattractive to your husband than you really are--talk to him about it. I've only had the dx for a few months, and my husband and I are both struggling with all of this. THere's no question that if you have MS and you're fortunate enough to have some kind of partner, you do have to deal with it together.