Trouble wrapping my brain around my new "retirement" - Multiple Sclerosis Message Board

jlbrow7 · 03-05-2008, 10:37 AM

I am 51 and I am soon (within months) headed for LTD and SSDI; i.e., a permanent furlough.

My problem has been coming to grips with the fact that my career is over and I am now retired in one sense - no workday schedule - but then again I will never have a "normal" retirement. Does that make sense?

Planning for a nice retirement (travel, activities) in a traditional sense has no meaning, but at the same time I want my husband to enjoy his retirement years. What I am coming around to is the idea of a retirement community where we can both enjoy the company of others and he can enjoy the physical activities.

Is anyone else struggling with this?

Barbbelle · 03-06-2008, 06:36 AM

Hi!
I retired 4 yrs ago from my beloved job and I was lost not really knowing who i was without the title of my profession. I am 50 now and we had just bought the farm of our dreams and were hoping that i could work to help support our dream. Well, life happens and we are still in our house by the grace of God. I was pretty sad about retiring for a while, but as time went by I realized what I was missing while I was giving all of my energy to my job. I now help my church by doing their website (which I had to figure out how to do) and I was always curious about stained glass...so I took a class. I also can see my elderly parents more often and my kids (who are in college) get more time with me when they are available. My energy level is really low and I am grateful that i can rest more often.
As far as where you live, you and your husband need to decide what works for both of you. I wouldn't make any fast decisions that you have to live with. Figure out your finances and make a decision based on that, what you two like to do together, weather, etc. my husband & I have been married for 26 yrs...high school sweethearts and we are still trying to figure out what we can do together. We were always very athletic together. I have alot of difficulties walking and so that is challenging.
Sorry, I'm rambling. Best of luck to you and just take one day at a time and you will be fine!
Have a glorious day!
barb

limpster · 03-06-2008, 07:01 AM

I know pretty much how you are feeling. I unfortunately had to "retire" last february. SSDI

I loved my job but because of my MS I was no longer able to do it safely.

I am 46 yrs old and my husband and I dreamed of a wonderful retirement.

That has changed. We are still hoping to persue are dream of a little chalet on the river, but I'm just not going to have the ACTIVE lifestyle we were hoping for.

As another poster wrote it is "One day at a time". Hopefully everything will work out for you.

You will find your new normal like I did. All my friends work so I volunteer 1 day a month at my church's food pantry and I do water exercises at the close high school.

The nice part of "retirement" is when you are tired you can take a nap

jlbrow7 · 03-06-2008, 01:55 PM

Thanks everyone!

I am alot more upbeat today and the future seems bright. I thank God for the Internet b/c I can barely walk and I stay very interested in things online.

There are so many opportunities and now I can sleep whenever I want!

You are all tremendous!!!

MSJayhawk · 03-06-2008, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jlbrow7

I am 51 and I am soon (within months) headed for LTD and SSDI; i.e., a permanent furlough.

My problem has been coming to grips with the fact that my career is over and I am now retired in one sense - no workday schedule - but then again I will never have a "normal" retirement. Does that make sense?

Planning for a nice retirement (travel, activities) in a traditional sense has no meaning, but at the same time I want my husband to enjoy his retirement years. What I am coming around to is the idea of a retirement community where we can both enjoy the company of others and he can enjoy the physical activities.

Is anyone else struggling with this?

I hear you loud and clear. I would never settle in a retirement community because disability for me is no retirement. For me, I have my two sons to see through college and then I will busy myself on my better days. Disability, to me, is a badge I can wear in public and encourage others. A retirement community can be good, but I enjoy a mix of community.

Once you have made the leap to disability, take a month off and plan your goals. When I finally made the leap, I washed and cleaned my business dress clothes and dropped them off at the homeless shelter. I also gave away my watches and business shoes. In my "retirement" I dress in pullover shirts (no buttons), jeans, and my high top sneakers.

Turning off the alarm clock does wondrously lower stress. My service dog is my alarm clock. He will nudge me when he needs to go out. I still arise in time to start daily home school lessons, but I also have time to rest when I need rest.

I congratulate your leap- or power chair roll- into retirement. I have "existed" here in "disability world" since 2002. I have NO REGRETS!!