Had to Give Something Up - Multiple Sclerosis Message Board

april1848 · 08-28-2008, 03:05 PM

Hello Friends,

I just need to vent I guess. It's hard accepting limitations! I just hit my three month anniversary at the new job that I love, and I was asked yesterday to join the Quality Assurance committee, which I accepted. I've also been campaigning for two issues--one for a candidate for president; the other is a Political Action Committee that is supporting a levy countywide. I thought I could handle all of this until Election Day, but this week I just gave out.

So I decided to quit campaigning for the president, and I just called Headquarters to let them know. I feel very bad about it, since I've always participated in these things, and I enjoyed it. My reasoning was that I feel more needed in the local issue I'm working on, and that I could do more good there. I feel so guilty!

My schedule for the most part anyway the past few weeks was wake up at 5:30, get ready for work, work until 4:30, then go to work at one of the campaigns until 7 or 8. I'd come home, eat, clean, do laundry, see my husband for a half hour when he got home and passed out. There were a few days where I took time off or shortened my campaign time, but not enough. I can't do it anymore.

I was able to do all this at the last presidential election. Not this time around. I was coming to work absolutely exhausted, to the point where I felt I wasn't doing my best. I was shocked when I was asked to join a committee.

I've had MS for almost a year and I'm finding that one of the hardest parts is realizing you can't do everything. Does this disease target Type A people or what? I feel sad, guilty, and regretful. How do you guys deal with your limitations? How do you accept it?

MSJayhawk · 08-28-2008, 04:23 PM

Limitations? We don't need no stinking limitations!

Do I have limitations? Yes I do. I have my daily work that needs to get done, but anything "above and beyond" my daily necessary work plays second or third fiddle. I know that if I try to do everything, I will only harm myself and then I am no good to anybody.

I take my limitations in stride. If I accept my limitations, then life is pure joy. There is much less stress when you conserve your work output. You might be able to assist a campaign 2-3 hours total a week. Give yourself mandatory cut-off times. If you can not do the extra stuff, no sweat----HAKUNA MATATA-----No Worries-----Mai Pen Rai----Shinpai Shinaide! (The last two are Thai and Japanese for "No Worries")

Nenu · 08-28-2008, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by april1848

I've had MS for almost a year and I'm finding that one of the hardest parts is realizing you can't do everything. Does this disease target Type A people or what? I feel sad, guilty, and regretful. How do you guys deal with your limitations? How do you accept it?

I'm sorry you feel this way April. You're an amazing, dedicated woman. I can see why saying 'no' makes it feel like you've 'surrendered' in a sense to MS.

Don't look at it that way hun. Honestly

People without MS say 'no' every day. I'm sure they don't think any less of you, nor should you think any less of yourself. Look how far you've come in such a short amount of time!

msgeorge · 08-28-2008, 06:22 PM

April, yes anything that impactsour live negatively is hard to deal with. MS is just one of many things that can impact our "output". BUT, and this was difficult for me. you have to take care of the critical things first. For me, work is critical, it pays the bills, insurance, feeds my family, etc. Of the physical things that tax me, that is #1. My family is 1st in my non-work related things. But they are more understanding and less physically taxing. So I guess I made lists and put things in boxes and deal with the most important things. Those not on the top of the list have to take second or lower.

I guess each of us deal differently and a lot depends on who knows and understands what. I have been very fortunate and appreciate the support I get.

Set goals and alot time you can do. Not nececesarily what is demanded or perceived.

Limitations stink but they can usually be worked around. Not much help probably but you CAN do it. Just in smaller pieces at a time that fit in YOUR schedule! Go get em and do NOT give up. And definitely do not get mad at you!

MSNik · 08-28-2008, 06:56 PM

HI April...I hope by now you are feeling better. I know everyone has said what they said, but Im reading you post alittle differently pal. You didnt give up anything, you swapped a cause closer to your heart, as far as "feeling more needed in the local issue" for campaigning for the president. So? If you had to do two different things every M-W-F at 5 pm and had to make a choice between which one you wanted to do, because you cant be in two places at the same time, would it be sacraficing one over the other? Or would it be a necessary choice you had to make? Think of it that way. There are only 24 hours in a 7 day week...

Does that make any sense...you didnt quit- you made a choice...and you didnt make it because you disliked one over the other, you made a healthy adult educated decision on which one you felt more needed....GOOD FOR YOU.

learning to say NO is hard for healthy people who dont deal with fatigue, shots and overall MS yuckiness....

Give yourself a hand girl- you are amazing! You do more then the average person does in a year, each week. Chin up! Be proud. And know that we are always amazed by all you do!

Hugs
Nikki