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Old 04-09-2012, 09:08 PM   #1
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worried i have ms?

my ms fears started at 19 years old and went on for about 6 months, i got on google, read symptoms and at the time was a hypochondriac worried i had ms, cancer etc. i thought about the symptoms so much i actually developed twitching and restless sleeping, diharria all the time until i got my gf. my mind was off being sick for years everything went back to normal. up until my girlfriend i got very depressed thinking i was dying. like i said back to normal beside my bowel movements, i am italian and usually end up eating a lot of pasta and carbs. up to this day i have had bowel movements always little ball like and constipation. sorry for the detail. never really one solid smooth movement. well up until february i had some major dental work and i have gotten very depressed and noticed a small pulsing feeling in my arm. get sweats at night im hoping because of these nightmares of my teeth falling out and just tired. i had lyme disease in january when i went to the doc had a physical and bloodwork. he said everything looked normal. now im afraid im dying again, afraid i have ms on top of all these dental iissues i have. im trying to live my life finish school, girllfriend etc but im getting these thoughts my body is turning and starting to put these bad thoughts in my head like i would be easier dead then alive? please any opinions are appreciated.

i went online read alot of people are diagnosed at 22, bowel issues, heat sensitivity, twitching i just want to lock my self in my room

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Old 04-09-2012, 09:44 PM   #2
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Re: worried i have ms?

Welcome.

MS is not fatal. You can have a full life and career, but you have to get over the anxiety. For me, I have frequent bowel movements when I am under stress or my MS is hitting me heavy. Constipation would be my friend!

Depression can be part of MS or a stand-alone. It is important to also get your depression under control. If you see an MS Specialist, they will likely want to get your depression and anxiety under control in order to be able to properly diagnose your case.

You need to lay your worries aside. I was diagnosed when I was 19 and had MS since at least 14 years of age. I had to change my schooling and career path, but I was still able to enjoy a 20 year career until I had to take disability. I got married and have two sons who are both in college. MS is not fatal and you can learn to live with MS if you have it.
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Old 04-09-2012, 10:10 PM   #3
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Re: worried i have ms?

should i be worried i have it? should i spend the money to get these tests done or is this all because of my anxiety. i just worry alot and over think things. when i started googling a few years ago i didnt have any symptoms but thought about them so much i physically developed them. i thought i had a heart issue and i thought about ti so much i would get chest pains. i thought about diabetes so much and saw frequent urination one day i thought about it for a week and then i had to pee one day every half an hour. same thing when i thought i had ms, idk if it was ibs from anxiety but i thought about my eye twitching and it constantly would. then i went to a therapist and got my girlfriend. i was able to sleep all my pains wnet away no more twitching and all. i dont have the greatest diet. i eat alot of carbs not much meats im a skinny little guy so im not sure if i just dont get enough fiber which could be the hard stools but i been reading about ms again and im fine throughout the day just during this idle time i have i think about it and then i get a weird feeling in my arm.

now i was fine until the beggining of february i had to have 2 wisdom teeth and a premolar pulled. on top of my 4 molars when i was 16 for my braces. i feel my teeth are rotting out and im loosing them. on top i have health anxiety and now i have ms in my head. im just freaking out. i keep thinking i have all these problems why do i want to live? ms all i can think about is a wheel chair and being a burden to my family, gf etc. i just dont know what to do to get my life back in order. i sometimes have erection issues as well when i try to make love to my girlfriend. im not sure if its just from all the internet stuff when i was younger up until i got my girlfriend. i just feel like my life sucks and im dying. now i lay these past few days up at night thinking about ms, my teeth, having no money and what if anything at all is going good for me. im scared. anxiety issues also runs in the family.

Last edited by tryingtofindpeace; 04-09-2012 at 10:12 PM.

 
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Old 04-09-2012, 10:27 PM   #4
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Re: worried i have ms?

you are getting carried away with your anxiety and by the sounds of it you may be developing obsessive compulsive disorder. this disorder is your chronic feeling of being sick and dying all of the time and it's a precursor to anxiety. my suggestion is for you to spend the money on a good therapist and find some help in dealing with your obsessive thoughts. you can stop all of this....trust me. panic disorder runs in my family too. try reading this book. it helped me a lot....healing fear...by edmund bourne. it may just help you learn how to live again.

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Old 04-09-2012, 10:30 PM   #5
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Re: worried i have ms?

There is a 1/400 chance of having MS. That is a 1.4% chance of MS. You mentioned anxiety running in your family. This fact alone could be the culprit.

All the worrying will not change anything- only worsen it. You need to control the depression and anxiety. You might start with those two first. If your symptoms disappear, you may not need more tests. If you want be totally sure, you should see an MS Specialist.

As you seem to grab hold of the worst of MS, please stop reading all the info. MSers are each different and there is no guarantee that you have MS. If you did have Ms, it changes nothing. You are still the same person.

You do not have to wind up in a wheelchair, BUT if you do, you can get out of it. I went downhill in 2002 and i went through some really bad cycles. I am back walking and back living. Stop the fear, stop the dread, stop the anxiety, and start each day counting your blessings. MS does not end life, it allows us to begin anew.
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Old 04-09-2012, 10:36 PM   #6
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Re: worried i have ms?

nope jayhawk....he "thinks" he has a lot of things, but his doc says all his tests are fine. he reads into too many things on the web for every symptom he experiences. i know people with ocd and he seems to have all of the classic symptoms of it. it's anxiety with chronic worrying that you always have something else.

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Old 04-10-2012, 01:33 PM   #7
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Re: worried i have ms?

Quote:
Originally Posted by boobootwo View Post
nope jayhawk....he "thinks" he has a lot of things, but his doc says all his tests are fine. he reads into too many things on the web for every symptom he experiences. i know people with ocd and he seems to have all of the classic symptoms of it. it's anxiety with chronic worrying that you always have something else.
i do obsess but im not sure if the actual physical feelings i am having are anxiety or ms. thats what originally happened and today i been having aches in my left arm and leg so i am scared. i never had an mri or spinal tap or those tests. but i did go to the doctor in january and had the physical and bloodwork. i did have lyme disease from ta tick brought into my house from one of the cats. i took medication for a year. now im not sure if the pains are worse from me constantly thinking about it. im trying to clear my mind to see if in the next few days if im ok. i am looking into a therapist as well. like i said just nervous at the age of 22. extremley stressed because all i think about is what if im dying.

 
Old 04-10-2012, 02:03 PM   #8
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Re: worried i have ms?

cant imagine thinking all the time that you are dying- it sounds to me like you realize that this isnt normal behavior. Recognizing it is part of the process of treating it. You stated that you had been dx with Lymes. Are you still taking medication for that? Lymes doesnt "go away" and it is chronic...and certain meds may be adding to your feeling of fear and anxiety. You really do need to check back with your Lymes doc and talk to him about what is going on with you. The one thing I can tell you with assurance is that Lymes and MS present in very similar ways, you may NOT have MS- but if you do, its not a fatal disease- people live long and happy and normal lives with MS (if you can get past the occasional muscle spasms and twitches and numbness! ) MS is hardly anything to really worry about...like Lymes Disease, it is controllable. I dont want you walking around thinking the worst of MS- or getting yourself unnecessarily upset.

You obviously do need to get a handle on the anxiety- whether the disease is causing the anxiety or the anxiety is causing the symtoms, either way, its not right and there is help available. Please DO go see your doctor and talk to him/ her about what you are experiencing!
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Old 04-10-2012, 08:07 PM   #9
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Re: worried i have ms?

im just trying to get my life back on track so i can finish school. i been having dental issues which is costing me money, my girlfriend is away at school, im overwhelmed with my own school work, got back on the internet searching symptoms, had lyme disease, all this and im only 22. im just afraid of death and any disease in general. i dont want to think about leaving my family and my gf i want to marry behind. i been having a weird tightness feeling in my left leg since i got out of work and i just dont have much money to even get by. im worried about this ms and i am not on any anxiety meds. the only medications i have taken in the past year was amoxacillin for my wisdom extractions and the lyme meds for 1 month. im not having any weakness but i am constipated alot. i do not have the best diet, looking at it i dont get much fiber. i eat alot of carbs. i just want to see if im ok. im constantly holding my arms up to see if i have weakness or anything. my leg and arm just been bugging me the past few days. i know it seems like im blowing things up but since 20 years old and how google ruined my life, its been hard to ever get back to my normal self. i was afraid i had a heart condition and i thought about it so much i actually had chest pains. i thought about diabetes for 3 days straight and how frequent urination was a symptom and then one day i had to go every hour. now im trying to figure out if this time my leg and arm tightness it started in my head or if its from MS. on top of my embaressing dental issues it makes me just think the worst of what is to come.

i can feel it right now in my leg and arm. almost a faint twitch in my arm? if i end up needing to get dentures in the next couple years even though i take care of my teeth and sitll have these issues, on top of ms i dont think i would be able to handle the anxiety and take the coward way, my mind is brainwashing myself but i am triyng to keep my head up. what is even worse is i have to hide this from all my friends gf etc. except one person my mother

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Old 04-10-2012, 08:27 PM   #10
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Re: worried i have ms?

Nikki pointed out info you need to know about Lyme. It is clear that you are under stress and this combined with your anxiety feeds a seemingly never ending path of pain. Getting off that path is something you need to do.

I encourage you to seek assistance for your anxiety. We all need help sometimes. The fact that you are here is encouraging. You can get through this. I hope you can get relief. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Old 04-10-2012, 08:32 PM   #11
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Re: worried i have ms?

did you try and find that book i suggested? healing fear, by edmund bourne. that book touches on every subject associated with anxiety, including obsessive thoughts. you should see if you can get a used one. this book really got my life together. helped me understand why i start to obsess. you are only 20, so chances of anything being seriously wrong with you.....other than anxiety...are next to nothing. my panic started about 6 months after my father died. i felt like i should have done something to help him. i suffered guilt for many many years and now realize that you can't change someone that doesn't want to change. he was an alcoholic and had developed viral hepatitis when he was a kid, during war times, so his liver was already very damaged. is there something else going on in your life? have you lost someone or are you afraid of losing someone? what people with anxiety tend to do is expand everything in our minds. we become totally irrational and put ourselves in the throws of our own minds. you need to ask yourself questions when you feel that way, like...have i fallen to the ground? am i still walking? can i still think? if you can walk and talk and think....then you're not dying. i used to pace around the house when i had a bad panic attack. some people think that makes them more anxious. i thought...if i can walk....then i'm not dead and i still do that to this day. don't spend so much time on searching the web for all of your symptoms. if you hurt...take a tylenol. if you feel overwhelmed, lay down and do deep breathing exercises, from your abdomen. lay on the bed and breath into your stomach. watch you stomach go up and down to know that you're breathing properly. think good thoughts of times that made you happy when you were younger. your life will come together again. have faith in that and you will heal yourself. read books instead of the net. keep your mind busy with things that make you happy. what's that old expression....don't worry....be happy! be happy cause you're way too young to focus on your life being over, when really...your life is just beginning. just live sweetie. live and love. you can do it.

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Old 04-11-2012, 07:37 AM   #12
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Re: worried i have ms?

hello again everyone and thank you for the responses. i found the book on amazon and im going to order a copy.

i figured i would just post a few more times maybe in detail (graphic at some points but i need help) so i can just explain myself and clear my head and then get some opinions on what i should do. it is kind of long

when i was 19 i got on the internet and started searching and came about some diseases online which scared me, even before i had any physical symptoms. just stress from school and not having a gf sometimes i would just feel tired from feeling like a loser and my body would ache. the first thing i found about was ms. i constantly thought about twitching and muscle fatigue and was so scared. i thought about ti so much i literally did not sleep for a week, i would lay down and have panic attacks thinking about ms. i then developed some of the twitching. i also had very loose stools soft greenish yellow and diarrhea alot. then it went on to something else i thought i had cancer from a small exhaust leak into my car at least i thought it was in the car for a few months. i don't smoke or drink so i thought i had lung cancer. then i thought i had a heart condition and i was so stressed i started having palpitations. i went to a therapist for a few sessions and it didn't help much. i didn't take any meds either, this was around 19. i did have Lyme disease in 8th grade junior high. i had an infection in my left knee and couldn't walk for a couple weeks because my knee was huge. i ended up meeting a girl who i was friends with would hangout with and fell in love with. we were not sexually active but i did want to be and would have erections all the time. we just wouldn't do anything. then we started fooling around and i would be fine. then it seems like my drive just dropped off and when it was time to do it and up to this day i sometimes have trouble maintaining a full erection, sometimes its semi soft and i never think about having sex and im constantly worrying about if i can do it. it did put a strain on our relationship because i was so nervous to do it it actually took months. so sometimes we have good and bad. (could be from porn and masturbation which still do). beside that i was feeling back to myself beside my stools being small hard rounded balls alot of the time which makes me feel constipated alot of the time. now i ended up having some dental work done over the past couple years. i had 3 root canals, one ended up getting pulled, one just got a crown, waiting another crown and an implant for the tooth that got pulled. now the one with the permanent crown is giving me problems and i started googling things and now im convinced my teeth are rotting and falling out. all i can think about is dentures. then i got back on here and an anxiety forum i use and started looking into ms again and getting scared. and i posted about the weird feeling in my leg i am still having through the class im in as im typing this. i have been constantly thinking about that and twitching and all the other symptoms of ms i read. weird feeling in my left arm as well. so now i feel like im falling back into the loop because of the symptoms i have. i had the full blood work done and a physical for school in january and got treated for lyme and it was positive on all 3 signs or whatever my mom said so i got treated the medication. i remember in jr high they were huge pills i took for over a month. this time it was small ones for about a month. well anyway based on these symptoms
-the erection problems, the constipation and the weird feeling in my leg i am convinced i do have ms

ms on top of the dental worries im having about dentures. im only 22 and it makes me think my body is deteriorating. and at times it does make me think maybe if i die it will be easier for me and everyone around me. as bad as it sounds i feel like the 2 people i care about most are going through so much stress because of me. my mom cries at night from what i tell her. what makes me think my body is ok and is going to be ok for all these years to come?

i dont have much money, im scared to go to the doctor and even get an mri. if i found out i had ms i would cry. 22 year old male like a little baby. There is one thing that keeps me afloat and its my girlfriend. i have been dating her for 2 years and she is just perfect and if im having problems now i dont want to put her through hell because of me. if i was to have ms, who knows if i actually do?, i know it is not a death sentence or a wheel chair sentence, but if i ended up in a wheel chair, and was not able to go places, do things, make love to her because of that and erection problems, i would not want to be alive to make her life a struggle because of mine. i would want her to be able to live her life. i know she loves me so much and i love her but i feel like she deserves a good life more then i do. im not suicidal but if my 25 teeth, 2 with root canals remaining of the 32 i had fall out (i get pains all around my mouth because im constantly worrying about them always on my mind), and i do find out i have ms i probably would be. i just feel like im stuck in this never ending struggle. im scared as well. i just want all these issues im having to be because my brain is making me feel all this because i am constantly thinking about it.

i guess the stool problem could be from a bad diet? i miss breakfast alot, i eat alot of pasta being italian and not beef alot. mostly chicken etc but its been going on for a while.

the erection problems? just stress?

the weird feelings in leg and arm from my worry and anxiety?

like i said my parents go to a therapist for their anxiety. i dont take any meds for anxiety or any meds at all. i just feel so lost

Last edited by tryingtofindpeace; 04-11-2012 at 07:45 AM.

 
Old 04-11-2012, 08:05 AM   #13
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Re: worried i have ms?

Again, your anxiety and the fact that both your parent suffer from anxiety speaks to the possibility of your anxiety being passed on to you either from genes or your upbringing. Turn off from searching the internet for answers and start looking in the mirror.

Make an appointment with a qualified doctor for your anxiety. There are also boards on this site which will provide information to you. There is an Anxiety Board and a sub category for you to share your story. I think that you can surely find people who have the same feelings you do and who are getting help.
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Last edited by MSJayhawk; 04-11-2012 at 08:08 AM. Reason: Add

 
Old 04-11-2012, 03:11 PM   #14
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Re: worried i have ms?

If you haven't been diagnosed with anything and haven't been to the doctors (and are awaiting diagnosis), then you should apply for life insurance, and, if you have a job at the moment, disability insurance. They will be cheap at your age, since odds are you aren't going to die or become disabled. I think my $250K life insurance policy that I bought at age 24 is under $200 a year. I find my life insurance policy buys me some peace from the anxiety. If I die, my family will be taken care of. If you are diagnosed with something serious, you'll never be insurable, so if that will make you feel better, it's something to look in to.

Then get a good therapist and begin to discuss your feelings of worthlessness and anxiety about illness. You do not deserve to feel that way, and there is help available. You might be eligible for a low cost clinic (or even a free clinic, I am not sure) if you don't have the funds to pay for a visit. And remember, you probably will not see results in the first visit, maybe not even in the first few weeks. But stick with it. If your therapist thinks it may be a more physical issue than mental, they will let you know and help you seek help elsewhere.

 
Old 04-11-2012, 03:15 PM   #15
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Re: worried i have ms?

Sociallyskilled's reply reminded me that as you indicated that you are a student, many universities have mental health counseling at little or no cost. Also, many pastors are also counselors and you may try them as well.
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