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Gullyabb · 07-03-2012, 07:24 PM

Hi all,

It's been awhile since I asked, but I need another kick in the pants. This time about work.
The temperature here has been very hot for this area 32 C and above. Despite our new AC in the house, my symptoms have worsened and tonight I'm feeling particularly horrid. I've been having proprioception problems in my feet for months now, but now my hands are doing the same thing. Occasionally it makes me forget about wanting to gnaw my feet off or the fuzzy spot in my vision....

I've been taking 1 or 2 sick days a week since Summer started, and while my boss is very understanding, I feel guilty about it. I worked a full day today and I'm dreading working tomorrow, particularly because I have a few hours driving to do.

I'm SOOOOO lucky to have a job where I could be off for the rest of the Summer without losing my position, exhausting my benefits or losing any pay.
Also, if I decide I can't do the particular job I'm in, my organization is obliged to find something else for me. So why am I so reluctant to go off sick??? I can be 'ordered' off work, but I'm good at skating around all of that so far. My family doctor has offered to put me off work, but I've declined so far. Last year, when I first took sick, I was off for several months.

Without a diagnosis, I don't feel like I have any justification for being off sick, and I think also I'm afraid of admitting that I can't do my job anymore.

Sorry for rambling, but I need some words of wisdom. I feel so crappy I can't think straight right now. I went rummaging for some Celebrex that I had been given when I was initially diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis.... I was hoping it would help some, but hasn't obviously.

Thanks
Gully

MSJayhawk · 07-03-2012, 08:10 PM

It is difficult to decide what you should do absent a diagnosis. I sincerely believe that something is happening to you; therefore, I would keep doing what you are doing until you have a diagnosis. If your boss is understanding, you could ask for a position change.

I spent 20 years working. I chose to go on disability because I had reached a point where I was no longer able to do my job. If your disability is starting to rise to a level that affects safety of yourself as well as your co-workers or if your work performance is affecting your company's customers, then you should consider disability or a position change. Leaving a career behind is a difficult decision to make. I wanted to leave before I ruined my reputation and destroyed my corporate legacy.

My brother's secretary has had MS and maintained her position even though she has had to take time off. The company understands her position as an MSer and the other workers help cover her absence or they will bring in a temporary worker.

Guilt? please leave it locked away in a closet somewhere. You need not feel guilty because you are doing the best you can given what has been placed in front of you.

As to hands and feet, during the summer months I use ice cold water to soak my hands or feet if they are numb or in pain.

Stay strong! And no kick in the pants!

Gullyabb · 07-04-2012, 07:49 PM

"Guilt? please leave it locked away in a closet somewhere. You need not feel guilty because you are doing the best you can given what has been placed in front of you."

Thanks so much. Those two lines got me through today.

Gully

MSJayhawk · 07-04-2012, 07:54 PM

You are welcome. Please remember not to allow others to make you feel guilty or to blame you. I went through the blame game early in my MS walk where non-MSer's blame the MSer for their condition. People can be cruel, but we know the truth and we are not alone in our walk.

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