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Old 08-17-2012, 06:51 PM   #1
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Depressed

Got in to see my neuro this afternoon since I am having an exacerbation, and she says I have internuclear ophthalmoplegia and another brain stem lesion. This makes 4 in the brain stem alone. *#%&#!!!!

This is not so much what I am depressed about. It is more that I can't talk about how I am feeling to my significant other...it seems they don't listen or don't want to listen. I partly feel guilty talking about my symptoms because I am no longer able to work and my SO is responsible for the income for the household.

It feels isolating. I try to talk about it, but it seems to fall on def ears many times, like "oh, well, you have had that before...whats the big deal". Well, at the time, it might be a big deal to me.

I am not a complainer, but sometimes I do want to talk about being afraid.

The good news is, I get 5 days IV Solu-Medrol so I will feel better physically and maybe that will help my mental state...hopefully I won't be too evil on the roids!

Just sad tonight. Guess I thought I would share that with people who get it.

 
Old 08-17-2012, 08:03 PM   #2
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Re: Depressed

I can understand what you are feeling. I had to take SSDI in 2002 because I was unable to continue work. I would encourage you to do some volunteer activities. Though you might not be able to contribute to the household income, there are many contributions you can make. You can create a garden and provide food for your family to save money, you can help others who are in need of an empathetic person who understands their needs.

You need not feel isolated nor should you isolate yourself. You can go as far as you want. SSDI offered me a ticket to work program, but my doctor nixed it. There are many opportunities available to you.
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Old 08-17-2012, 08:07 PM   #3
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Re: Depressed

I would add that you can contact your state rehabilitation agency about educational opportunities. If you are able to be retrained and you need education, here in Kansas there is a program which pays for your tuition, books, and a monthly stipend including rent/utilities.
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Old 08-18-2012, 09:00 AM   #4
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Re: Depressed

Quote:
Originally Posted by MSJayhawk View Post
I would add that you can contact your state rehabilitation agency about educational opportunities. If you are able to be retrained and you need education, here in Kansas there is a program which pays for your tuition, books, and a monthly stipend including rent/utilities.
Thanks guys:
I had contributed quite a bit to the income. I have been doing some transcription online, so that helps. You know with cognitive problems sometimes you just get so frustrated and feel...what do you call it...absolutely unnecessary (LOL!).

I will contact my local MS society to see about the volunteer thing...you are right about helping others. Great advice as always.

I think I was just having an "oh my gosh nobody listens to me moment". I will look into some local support groups as well.

Last edited by Administrator; 08-18-2012 at 05:24 PM.

 
Old 08-18-2012, 09:18 AM   #5
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Re: Depressed

Thanks for your words, you sound better already. I do not know if a desk job would work for you, but if you have a degree, there are many nursing schools looking for instructors.

I am glad you can contribute as a volunteer online and if you can help MSers in your area, what a blessing you would be!
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Last edited by Administrator; 08-18-2012 at 05:26 PM.

 
Old 08-18-2012, 01:41 PM   #6
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Re: Depressed

Hi there. I want to share my sympathy. And understanding. I too, am the bread winner in my family, and I too, have a husband who just doenst always get it. I also just had an MRI and have developed many lesions in my brain stem....similar situation. I never had them there before.

I started working with Hospice Patients 5 years ago. Talk about putting things into perspective. Working with others who have terminal diseases, makes working with chronic illnesses look like a picnic. It allows me to help others who are really worse off than I am- and by doing so, reminds me that there is always someone who wishes they were me...

As for the husband situation- at one point, we almost separated over things like you are talking about. I learned a long time ago- find support where you can, and from whom you can. Being here, has been a huge part of that for me. But I also got therapy for myself, because I couldnt make him go. I went to counseling with someone who specialized in chronic illnesses- they do exist. It helped. Then, I started getting very involved in my own chapter of the MS society...all of this helped to stabilize my emotions and make me feel like a human again.

You are not alone. I want you to know that. Some of us can identify more than others...but I survived it, and you will too.

hang in there.
Nikki
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Old 08-18-2012, 02:33 PM   #7
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Re: Depressed

My biggest issue is I have cognitive problems that prevent me from working full-time. I am applying for disability. I tested as moderate subcortical cognitive failure on my neuropsych tests. Mostly trouble with words, spelling, math, time issues in addition to spacial problems. (All those years of statistics for nothing! HA HA!.)

That will not prevent me from volunteering though. I do that at the MS bike ride, so no reason not to do it when I am feeling pretty good.

I am hoping the Tysabri gives me a little more energy.

Thanks for the suggestions.

Last edited by Administrator; 08-18-2012 at 05:31 PM.

 
Old 08-18-2012, 02:39 PM   #8
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Re: Depressed

It sounds like the same thing that put me on disability.

As you said, you can certainly volunteer.
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MS onset circa 1977
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Eternally blessed and eternally optimistic!<><

Last edited by Administrator; 08-18-2012 at 05:31 PM.

 
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