People - Muscular Dystrophy Message Board

NP74 · 09-04-2008, 03:34 AM

Hello,

It has been a while since I have posted anything here, but I still read most of the threats. In the college thread someone mentioned the way people treat you when you are in a wheel chair. Have any of you experienced that people automatically assume that you are also mentally challenged just because you have a physical disability? A while ago my husband and I went to an event showcasing outdoor activities for disabled people, kayaking, waterskiing etc ( I highgly recommend kayaking as you can get tandems so you don't have to do all the paddling yourself). At an event like that one would assume that the volunteers would be knowledgeable, and most were, but there was one volunteer, who spoke to me as if I was mentally challenged. Being spoken to like that is much worse than the stares etc you get from people. How do you deal with those people? I chose to ignore him, and had a good cry when I got home. I should probably just feel sorry for him, but it is very hard when all you really have is your brain!

P

Madalot · 09-04-2008, 08:20 AM

I have been fortunate not to have run into many people that assume just because I'm physically disabled that I'm also mentally challenged. Like you, it would upset me tremendously if I ran into that a lot. I think ignoring those people and just chalking them up to uneducated morons is probably the only way to go.

Try not to let people get you down too much. I know it's hard and I sometimes have myself a good cry over people too.

michigani · 09-05-2008, 01:53 PM

I could write 20 pages on this. I believe I understand what you mean.

My dad was in a wheelchair with MD and a waitress once said to my mom "And what would HE like?" That kind of stuff made him upset with people (although he was really upbeat and easy going). He said to the waitress "I didn't discuss it with her, I'll have the.........."

I've always felt that some healthy individuals that have never been affected by a disability in their lives don't ever try to imagine themselves in our position. That our minds are JUST like theirs, just not our bodies. People have spoken to me slowly so I'll understand. It's crazy and I usually just shrug it off as harmless. Once a friend of the family said to me "Wow! You cook meals and grocery shop? Good for you!" I said "Yeah, and I can tie my own shoes too!" I felt a little bad but I think my comment made her think a bit.

Wallis86 · 09-05-2008, 08:49 PM

I was the person who wrote about being treated differently... And like you michigani, I could write novels on this.

Most of the time I hang out with my best friend, especially in restaurants and big stores. She has a service dog for hypoglycemia alert (she's a type 1 diabetic), and it frustrates me to no end when people ask her if she is training the dog for me! If the dog was mine, don't you think I'd be holding the leash?! (I'm getting my own mobility service dog in early november, and I WILL be going on my own and holding the leash all by myself!) I've also attended classes with her where the professor asks her if she is my aide. People CONSTANTLY ask who ever I'm with (friends or family) questions about me... What will I be eating, what's wrong with me, do I need assistance... Unless I'm alone, people hardly ever ask ME the questions, I don't know why. I always approach it by answering their questions even though they didn't ask me. My best friend will confront them and tell them to ask me.

I've also had people think I'm blind or deaf as well. One man (I only used crutches at this point) used to yell "HELLO" really slowly and loudly at me whenever he saw me. When I was fostering a service dog for the organization I work for (the hypo alert dogs) an old woman kept telling me she had moved her belongings. I couldn't figure out for the life of me why she kept informing me of her every move until I dropped something and she asked me if it was mine, describing the shape and color of it. Then it clicked that she thought my service dog was because I was blind.

It's hard to know how to approach these things because people are ignorant. They aren't doing it on purpose really, they just don't know better. I think it's key to educate people that, while some people with physical disabilities also have mental handicaps, most people do not. On the same token, I always like to educate people that most people in wheelchairs can actually walk a little at least. (I got verbally assaulted once by a woman who was accusing me of lying about being disabled when she saw me walk a few steps)

You just have to take it all with a grain of salt and laugh at people's ignorance, otherwise it will just upset you.

Madalot · 09-06-2008, 05:41 AM

<<I always like to educate people that most people in wheelchairs can actually walk a little at least. (I got verbally assaulted once by a woman who was accusing me of lying about being disabled when she saw me walk a few steps)>>

This is what I've personally experienced more than anything. There are a few threads here about this very thing. It really upsets me when people make judgments when they have absolutely no clue what I deal with on a regular basis. Yes, I can walk some and do, but it's very limited and I need to be extremely careful. There are times I've decided to use a cane or walker and make do when I should have taken my wheelchair. But no one hears the indepth discussions my husband and I have BEFOREHAND to decide which is best for me for that particular event.

But I think it's just human nature to judge what you (general you) don't understand. And when you're the one being judged, it hurts.