This is my first post so I apologize if this is in the wrong category or anything.
I'll try to make my explanation as easy and explanatory as possible. I was a pretty bad drug abuser from age 15 to 18. For the most part, pills were my favorite. Mixing speed (Provigil, similar to Adderall) and painkillers (Darvocet) then I would smoke marijuana from time to time. The pill mixing only lasted about a month or so, but I took Provigil for my sleep disorder for about a year and a half - although a full year has past since I last abused (or even continuously been on) any prescription drug - I turn down any prescription I'm offered that has potential to be abused.
My problems started when I decided to try mushrooms for the first time back this last January. The first time was fun, second time was alright, the third (and final) time was probably the single worst experience of my life. I pretty much felt like I was going to die. I just sat down with a bucket in my lap because I was throwing up so much. For the most part though, I was fine after the 'trip' was over.
I continued smoking marijuana up until 24 hours before my surgery (2/2/11) was scheduled to get my tonsils and adenoids removed (I let the doctors know, they didn't seem to have a problem with it). The surgery went over fine, no complications. Although, there was a hole in one of my tonsils - which is unrelated to this problem. They never called back on the biopsy.
However, roughly four days after surgery, I began having severe panic attacks - they are almost as bad as when I took the mushrooms (which is why I included my drug history in this post). This happened after I stopped taking the Tylenol-3 codeine they gave me. I only took 1 1/2 of the 4 bottles I was prescribed to because of my abuse history. Up until the last month, I've only had one panic attack ever and I was about ten years old. Even marijuana would set off my attacks, so I haven't smoked in about a month now - which is bittersweet because quitting is something I've wanted to do for a long time, I smoked almost every day over the last year.
I haven't had a severe panic attack in about 3 weeks now, but I've become excessively paranoid and a hypochondriac since the surgery. I'm thinking this may be more surgery induced because I could still smoke marijuana with friends for the most part before the surgery (there was a still a general uneasiness when getting high, also I could no longer smoke alone - no bad panic attacks though - if any at all), but now it's completely out of the question. What inspired me to post this is that I was sitting down with my laptop on ******** and my brain felt like it was "falling", which almost triggered another attack. Other times it's like I can feel my brain moving - not violently, or even painful. Its very odd and bothersome. My best guess is that I'm just being paranoid and have anxiety problems, but I just don't know. About a week ago I was diagnosed with Pleurisy, which is only feeding my paranoia. I also work alone in an office building 3rd shift full-time.
What I've always had a deep fear of is that I've simply messed up my brain from my drug abuse. While I haven't touched speed in a year and painkillers in about 1 or 2 - I did smoke marijuana almost everyday April 2010 - early February 2011 and sometimes I'll just be either alone in my room, in public, or out with friends and it'll feel like I'm high all over again - again, this might just be anxiety. Other times I suddenly get really scared, which is also uncharacteristic of me. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I'm losing my mind. All sense of security and peace of mind are gone. Anybody who takes the time to read this post, I sincerely thank you.
P.S.: After reading all of this back to myself, I do realize this may be better suited for a Psychological therapy forum (haha).
The following user gives a hug of support to Saux: emmlee (03-25-2011)
Please tell me you're still checking this thread!
I recently posted a thread on dizziness/vertigo spurred by the same thing.
I feel like my brain "jerks," skips a beat, trips, falls down for a moment... It is not painful as you say, but I'm completely freaked out by this. Mine happen only when I'm still - usually when I'm sitting (but they can happen many many times a day).
I was on ambien for a while, so maybe we did mess something up with the respective (ab)uses.
Please update on how you're feeling! It is so hard to describe this strange brain sensation, but you can sure recognize when someone's talking about the same thing!
Last edited by Sleepless in RI; 03-15-2011 at 05:06 PM.
Yes, I think we're experiencing something similar. Skipping a beat or a jerk describes it pretty well. If I keep myself busy I'm usually fine, but it has to be something that actually requires my focus (ex: drawing, video games, or other things I don't normally do). Unless it's when I'm first waking up, I absolutely can't sit still in a quiet room. As the day progresses, so does my problem (or the chances of my problem occurring). Since this all started, I tend to freak out when I'm alone with my thoughts, something that has never really happened before. I still get random panic attacks, but they are less severe than they were - however, now they are less isolated also, I started getting them in public the other day.
I have a doctors appointment in a couple hours, so I'll let you know what I find out. However, it is just my regular physician, not a specialist, nonetheless - I'll let you know what they tell me.
This is what I was told.
Basically, everybody's brain is wired differently, it may not be "common" for our minds to randomly "trip" or "skip a beat", however it's also not uncommon. What the doctor said is, basically, that our minds are powerful things and a lot of these occurrences are anxiety or fear based. From what she was telling me, the drug use has little to nothing to do with it.
However. She did strongly recommend I go see an "anxiety" specialist - I believe another term for this is a mental health doctor - in the meantime she gave me paxil for temporary daily use and xanax for my panic attacks.
Just as a side note: she really tried to make it clear to me that she doesn't have any reason to believe there is anything wrong with me other than a fairly common chemical imbalance for the anxiety and hypersensitivity for the feelings in the brain. Nothing too abnormal, nothing to worry too much about.
Thanks for letting me know!
I have a neurologist appointment on Tuesday, I'll let you know what he says. I do have an extra very important symptom beside the skipping - vertigo/severe dizziness, so that's different. But it is true that the vertigo is making me extremely anxious, so maybe that's how the "skips" got thrown into the mix.
My advice to you: Be careful with the Xanax. Try not to take it for too long. The withdrawals from benzos tend to be pretty bad. (Ambien also has a strong anti-anxiety effect and now that I stopped it I'm more anxious than I've ever been.)