Considering Gastric? My story..for what it's worth - Obesity Message Board

seekingnormal05 · 08-07-2004, 07:58 AM

Three years ago today I weighted 364.7 pounds. Exactly.

A co-worker had had gastric bypass one year earlier and had spent the year telling me her story and trying to get me to have the surgery. I went for the consultation. I decided to give it one more try without the surgery with the promise to myself that if I could not succeed, I would have the proceedure.
So, on August 7, 2001, I started.

This morning I weighted in at 218.5 pounds. Exactly.

(Compulsive weigher here.

)

So I thought I'd post my story for anyone who's got this decision to make.

The good news is that I've lost weight. The bad news is that I lost it all in the first two years. I've been stuck now for slightly over 1 year.
However, the glass being half full, I have not gained any weight back in the past year.

So, like most things in life, there's no pat answer. I'm very proud of what I've accomplished. I gave myself back a life I never thought I'd have. But, there are days I deeply regret not having the surgery. For me, hunger is a daily issue. I've had to learn to overcome my body's basic desire to be filled. It's not an issue of cravings, which my friend still has. It's actual hunger. Many, many times I get depressed in realizing that if I'd gone the bypass route, I would have at least had that comfort on my side.

On it's own, contrary to popular believe, the stomach does not "shrink". You do adjust to smaller quanties of food, but it's not like having that space removed. I can't remember the last time I experience the sensation of being full. I can't. Because it has to become a distant thing. If I have it today, if I allow myself that today, I will want it tomorrow and the next day and the next......

I am convinced that before you have gastric bypass you must do an honest evaluation as to why you got large enough to need it. We tend to apply our own truths to the world. I know there are people who eat the perfect diet and still end up huge. I think that is rare. Most of us who end up huge eat too much. Maybe not so much as to "deserve" the weight we end up at, but certainly too much. Do you binge? Do you eat too many sweets? Do you overeat a bit each day?

Me, I am a binge eater. So I was very concerned about the damage I could do myself if I had the surgery and continued to binge. The surgery was not going to stop the need for me to binge since it's a stress thing and not really about the food. The doctors told me the surgery imposes bulimia on binge eaters. You simply cannot keep the food down. It comes back up. I hate to vomit so that seemed a fate worse than death. So I decided the surgery was not right for me.

I've tried it all. I can eat more going low carb but it's not the magic bullet for me that it seems to be for others. Good old fashion low cal with exercise (primarly walking) is what got me where I am. If I ever get to my goal, I intend for low carb to become my choice to maintain.

In the beginning my main concern was that I would not be able to maintain the weight loss which the doctor as the gastric center pretty much assured if I'd have the surgery. This was the proceedure where they take almost all of your stomach, not the one where you are banded. They say it's more likely to last. However, my friend who had the surgery has, in the past year, put about 35 pounds back on. She was never able to get to her goal weight. (Me neither.) If she levels out and stops gaining, it will still have been the right decision for her as she has still lost almost 100 pounds. If she keeps gaining, she says it will be even more devistating for having gone the route that was suppose to be almost impossible to fail.

My plan of action as of today is to give weight loss one more year. I only want to get 30 more pounds off. You wouldn't think that would be so impossible but it's proving to be a tough nut to crack. If I can't get there by my 4th anniversary, I am going to agree with my body that we are done and accept the 220ish weight. My dream is to get out of the plus side of the store but that may not happen. So I may just have to accept wearing the smallest size on that side of the store.

Good luck to all in this fight. It can be done. You can win.

Choose the method that is right for you and get started. You can give yourself back life!

syndyhall · 08-07-2004, 08:10 AM

5"7 and 245 my god I know exactly what you are going through. I would never have surgery I had brain surgery to remove a tumor, and I will never have it. Because I dont want to put my family through that. Everyday is a struggle and I am slowly loosing, it is like with any other addiction. One dau at a time. Or when it gets rough one hour at a time. Best of luck to you!!!

Avony · 08-07-2004, 09:32 AM

wow, your story is inspiring! Congradulations on your dedication and committment, I think thats what gets most of us is wanting a quick fix (myself especially). I have been over weight all my life (now 25 yrs old) and its a misery because I always believe my life can be so much better if I were thinner, but like many others I think I make my life even worst because I am always on a constant campaign for quick weight loss. I am happy that you wrote your story and that you decided to take it one day at a time therefore ultimately reaching your goal to lose weight. I only wish I had the dedication and determination that you do.

Just a thought, you said that you are not losing anymore, maybe you should re work your stragety and maybe increase your calories because it might be that you are not getting enough calories...yes stranger as it might sounds.

Yvonn · 08-07-2004, 04:33 PM

The key to losing weight and keeping it off, isn't surgery or the most fad of diets, its the desire and necessity to become healthy. If that means being 200 instead of 300 or whatever! I had the surgery, it's not the piece of cake everyone says it is. I've seen both sides, people that are true sucess stories and those who aren't. Me? I hope to be a success story, one day, but even if I can't lose all the 200 pounds I need to get to my goal weight, I will settle for being a healthy weight. As of this morning I've lost 66 pounds. I'm proud of it! I've tried diets and not had success. But what does feel great is knowing that I've already gotten rid of my sleep apnea, high blood pressure and can tell a difference in my knee and joint pain. I'm getting healthier instead of skinnier. My family is pleased with my loss, and always are a positive force in my life. Everyone needs a great support group to keep the focused.
So, Seeking....keep up the great work! If you don't ever have the surgery, thats ok as long as you are getting healthy and are happy with who you are. True beauty comes from within, and I can see your's from here.

Yvonn

seekingnormal05 · 08-08-2004, 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Avony

wow, your story is inspiring! Congradulations on your dedication and committment, I think thats what gets most of us is wanting a quick fix (myself especially). I have been over weight all my life (now 25 yrs old) and its a misery because I always believe my life can be so much better if I were thinner, but like many others I think I make my life even worst because I am always on a constant campaign for quick weight loss. I am happy that you wrote your story and that you decided to take it one day at a time therefore ultimately reaching your goal to lose weight. I only wish I had the dedication and determination that you do.

Just a thought, you said that you are not losing anymore, maybe you should re work your stragety and maybe increase your calories because it might be that you are not getting enough calories...yes stranger as it might sounds.

You're right. I think part of what got me in the mess is the way I eat. Diet for 2 weeks, three weeks, then binge a day. The day I'd binge, I'd gain like crazy because my body was storing every single ounce it could. But the long haul is very difficult. So many of us are driven by the number on the scale. (Me, for instance.

) I think that if you are eating well, the best thing is to ignore the scales but the day I can do that will probably be the same day we officially have world peace! hahaha

As far as increasing my food, I've tried that.

Ummmm. Okay, here's painfully honest. I"m pretty sure this last 30 is only going to come off if I do both -- increase my calories slightly and -- oohhh man it hurts to type this --- increase my exercise.

I hate exercise. I don't mind doing activities like golf, bowling, going to the zoo and walking all day. But real, "go to the gym" exercise I hate. And I just don't get enough of the "fun" exercise to be making a dent.

Man the truth hurts!