I have been fat since I was about 7 or 8 years old. I got made fun of, called all sorts of names. I grew up learning to expect it.
There were a couple years in my teenagerhood where I lost enought weight to look good and not have to worry about people making fun of me. What was even better was that I accepted myself.
But that was short lived happiness. I have been fat for a long time now, I can't get my weight to budge. And I'm not saying I don't know why. But I really hate going around hungry all the time, it makes me even more irritable than I already am. (I have ocd and I have anxiety alot.)
Sometimes when I am in a store and I see stylish clothes that don't look like garbage bags when people wear them, I get all motivated and think I am ready to do what is needed for me to lose weight. This just sets me up to sink to a new low.
What's the point? I won't be able to eat healthy, even if I exercise, I won't burn enough calories, I'll just replace them with what I eat. I'm too emotionally attached to food. I just need to realize I will be embarrassed about myself for the rest of my life, most likely.
I've also been overweight since I was a kid. Now I'm 40. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes (very VERY common in people who are overweight, especially if they've been overweight for a long time), and it made me re-think things. Diabetes can lead to blindness, heart disease (which killed my father, also a Type 2 diabetic). Diabetes can affect the nerves in your body which can result in having limbs amputated. It requires medication, many times in the form of insulin injections a couple of times a day. In other words, Diabetes sucks. So I had to ask myself which was more important to me - cookies or my eyesight? Potato chips or keeping my legs? When looked at from that perspective the answers were easy.
Being overweight will also impact other things, such as your joints, which eventually wear out from lugging aound all that extra weight. And many overweight people suffer from depression.
I've lost weight, although I still need to lose a bit more, but it's been a struggle every day. But my Diabetes is now fully under control without having to take meds. It's worth the struggle, in my opinion.
That was an excellent post jojo64! I couldn't of said it better.
For me, I don't have a weight problem, but I do know what it is like to have issues with food.
cupcakes, you said that you won't be able to eat healthy. But you can eat healthy if you make an effort. Instead of buying cookies and donuts, but veggies and chicken. There are so many delicious recipies that you can make that are healthy and that can help you lose weight.
Maybe you eat junk food for comfort? Have you considered talking to someone? A dietician? Your doctor? Maybe there is an underlining issue that you are using food as an outlet.
I believe that those who put out an effort will be rewarded. If you make a comittment to lose weight, you will lose the weight. But if you continue with the attitude that you have now, and you choose the junk food over healthy eating, you will only gain weight and nothing will change. Except you may feel worse about yourself.
You have the ability to lose weight, you have to make an effort.
That jolt of reality is the best way to look at it. Obesity is common in my family, in fact my aunt had to have both of her knees replaced because of her weight. I don't want to end up like that.
I think I need to keep this life or death attitude towards it that i am seeing right now. Because that's what it boils down to, right? It is just dangerous for me when I get moody, that's when i want to eat bad food the most.
Thank you for your posts, both of you. I am feeling better today than when i first posted last night.
Cupcakes,
I see your posting as a signal that you're ready to move in a positive direction - that's great! To really set yourself up for success, I'd suggest finding a way to keep in touch with others who are facing the same challenge - maybe through Overeaters Anonymous, or Weight Watchers, or a local weight-control support group? What one person can't do alone, she may find the strength to do with help from others. Also, it's really hard to give something up without replacing it with something else - it's all sacrifice with no reward. It's best to find something that can offer some satisfaction when you'd like to eat - a special herbal tea, a foot massage? (OK, those are lame examples, but you get the idea. For myself, I bought an ice shaver and now instead of pigging out on ice-cream sandwiches or snack crackers when I'm working on the computer at night, I pig out on sugar-free snow cones - sweet, crunchy, cold, no calories, no guilt.)
Anyway, let us know what you decide to do and how you're feeling - you just sounded so sad and beaten, my heart went out to you.
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