Originally Posted by keekolee
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm 20 and I weigh 230(5'6").. I don't want to look/feel like this anymore. Everytime I walk by a glass door at work I'm staring at it to see how much fatter I'm getting. I lost weight on weight watchers a few years ago, but I got bored(or something) and put on more than I lost. I did the same with a nutritionist before that and the same thing with Curves after WW. It's like I do well for a little while but when I stop it seems like my body is making up for the food that it didn't consume. Summertime is slow where I work.. i try to keep busy with word puzzles or something but next thing i know I've got a snickers in my mouth. Then I feel ashamed for eating when I wasn't even hungry so I pop another bite size butterfinger in. I can't stop eating. I feel so helpless.
Oh, you are not alone. You are most definitely not alone. I am 23, 5í4Ē, and I weigh 220 lbs. I am also very strong, but Iím not all muscle, know what I'm saying? LOL
As far as trying to lose weight goes, itís tough for everyone in our situation. We are uncomfortable in the weight, yes, but I believe that, to a certain extent, it has become like a warm blanket. I could be wrong; keep in mind that Iím only stating my opinion here.
Personally, Iíve become so used to being rejected by men because of my weight. Iím very unhappy and Iíve become quite lonely. But Iím also afraid to lose the weight. Do you know what I mean? Like what if I lose the weight and Iím still rejected?
And what if Iím not comfortable at my ďoptimalĒ weight? My Body Mass Index (BMI) is 28, which is obese, but not morbidly so. Apparently, someone decided that at my height, Iím supposed to be 120 lbs. I canít imagine that on my frame. I havenít been 120 lbs. since 8th grade! LOL
The prospect of losing 100 lbs. is also daunting. I think one of my big problems is that I see that my goal is so incredibly huge and then I become overwhelmed, and then sad, and then I do nothing. Or I get depressed, and I eat more, thereby defeating my own purpose. Sigh.
But back to the subject at hand. Changing your diet is one of the hardest things to do Ė for anyone. My story is that I was not raised on salads, fresh vegetables, or fruit; instead, I was raised on Chef Boyardee, macaroni & cheese, and Ramen noodles. (I was a latch key kid raised by a single parent who worked 2 jobs. I fed myself breakfast and dinner from 2nd grade to middle school to high school and so on. The meals had to be fast and easy for a young child to cook.) I'm sure you've heard the joke about "Tonight's dinner has been postponed until we can find the can opener!" Well, sadly, that truly is the kind of household I come from.
I quickly got used to eating crappy food. I also ended up becoming a terribly picky eater. I'm assuming that it's because I was not exposed to eating a variety of vegetables and fruits that there are so few that I actually like. I can't stand fish, I don't like a lot of fruit and there are even fewer vegetables that I'll eat. And did I mention that I can't stand salad? I've tried to make myself eat it, but I just can't get through it.
My diet consists of maybe - maybe
- one piece of fruit and/or one vegetable per day. Now that I think about it, my diet is basically the same every single day. I have Instant Breakfast every morning when I go to work. I eat about a half pound of pasta almost every night (when I have the energy to cook). And I have virtually the same lunch every day (steak sandwiches or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.) Wow. That's pretty bad. I've been living on mostly carbs for a long time now. And I'm a secretary, so I'm almost completely sedentary. Itís no wonder I'm so big! LOL
The weekends are worse. I usually get so busy, and have so many things I need to take care of that I hardly ever sit down to eat. This past weekend, I had one meal on Saturday and one meal on Sunday. Both were pasta and were washed down with about 1 liter of iced tea.
On the upside, I really dislike fast food. I stay away from Taco Bell, KFC, McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, and Checkers. I avoid Pizza Hut at all costs. I'm not a fan of pizza or Chinese food, and I absolutely cannot eat spicy food.
I'm a true carnivore; I love beef, buffalo, chicken, deer, lamb, and pork. I love potatoes any way but raw. I like the snack plate veggies (broccoli, carrots, cucumber, etc.) but with ranch dressing (which is mostly fat and cream). I love corn, but I heard it has virtually no nutritional value.
Lately I've been trying to sneak in a yogurt or an apple as a mid-afternoon snack. Sometimes I'll have a banana. I'll have a couple of hard boiled eggs or an Ensure for dinner (if I have dinner.) I also drink lots of water each day.
I LOVE JUICE. I used to drink 1/2 gallon of orange juice every 2 days. I would also be slugging down apple, grape, and cranberry juices, but I got SO tired of people saying to me, "Watch out, you'll become a diabetic!" So I kind of just stopped cold turkey on the juice thing. Besides, I wasn't getting any calcium. Now I go through about 4 cups of milk per day. I calculate my breakfast as about 1,000 calories. When I have pasta, I usually eat about a half pound of pasta with meat sauce.
I become addicted to things very quickly (like those yummy steak & mozzarella sandwiches from the deli) but I also get tired of them quickly.
I tried to change my diet so many times before. Most diet plans are so restrictive (and comprised of foods I won't eat) that I can't stay on them. I also went on that diet where you eat 1 serving of something every 2 hours. I pretty much became a starving lunatic for the first few days, and the diet was just too hard to stay on. I will admit, though, that I did feel a little bit better while I was on the diet, but only briefly.
To keep myself from shoving snacks in my face while Iím at work, I chew sugarless gum. I keep my mouth busy, and I get to have decent breath.
I also drink plenty of water, though I read that itís not that filling.
Cold water burns calories because your body has to warm it up to your internal temperature, however, burning calories increases your appetite. Sipping room temperature water is not supposed to increase your appetite, plus the weight and volume of the water are supposed to help fill you slightly. There is one caveat: donít drink too much water, or you risk flushing out too many of your vitamins.
Also, eating foods with a high water content (like watermelon or lettuce) are supposed to fill you up much faster than eating food and drinking water. Thereís an article in a womenís magazine (that I canít name) this month about this very subject. In the article, they cite ways to fill yourself up faster by eating certain foods. In lieu of a bowl of cereal, they say youíll have better success by eating a serving of oatmeal. I find this to be somewhat true, however, Iím not much of an oatmeal person.
It is SO hard to lose weight, even with all of the warnings. My family history has heart disease, strokes, arthritis, diabetes, cancer... you name it, Iíve got it in my genes. But even with all of that, I simply cannot seem to make myself drive to the gym, even though Iím paying for a membership. I canít make myself go for a walk on a Saturday afternoon. I canít make myself get up from this computer chair, where I sit for hours each night. And I canít make myself not eat that enormous bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and sprinkles.
I feel like a hopeless case myself. Iím built like the Michelin Man and I donít see any hope in sight! I havenít bought new clothes for myself in 4 years. I keep thinking, ďWhy spend the money on new clothes? Youíre just going to lose weight and have to buy all new clothes!Ē Yeah, right.
There is a site (that I cannot post here) that gives reviews of all of the diets out there. They evaluate everything from diets to exercise gurus, to pills. I wish I could give it to you, but I canít. They do give decent reviews to some of the diets, but Iíll admit that on most of the pages, they dismiss the item as a gimmick and suggest lowering your caloric intake and taking up ďlifestyle exercisesĒ (things you donít have to buy a lot of equipment for or pay memberships for) like walking or riding a bike.
Curves gets pretty bad reviews. They only have a half hour to talk to you, show you what to do, and have you work out. Studies have shown that the average amount of calories burned in a Curves session is approximately 300 - less than the amount in a candy bar.
If I could just get over that lack of motivation hurdle, I'd probably lose a lot of weight.
Kee, I wish you the best of luck. Just know that you are not alone and that there are a lot of us here going through the same things you are, thinking the same things you are, and wishing the same things you are.
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he'll tell you the truth." -- Oscar Wilde