Why? - Obesity Message Board

shelley49001 · 10-12-2005, 05:49 PM

I really don't understand people, men are "turned off" by fat woman, well that is to be expected since "most" men have shallow brains! I am a heavy woman, 5'9 250lbs. I didn't get this way because I eat too much, the exact opposite. I have bowel problems and since I go more than I eat, it has put my body into starvation mode, my body thinks its starving, so its storing all the fat it can to survive. Sounds funny, yes I know, but its true, I go to the bathroom on an average of 5 times a day. I eat balanced meals because 1) I am a type 2 diabetic, 2) I just got diagnosed with extremly high tri levels (over 700), 3) I am recovering from a blood clot in my leg, 4) I have been on Lexapro for 2 years for depression. NOW how does this all fit into this world? MEN see me as being fat, they don't care how I got this way, they just see what they see, I am married and my husband loves me and he "understands" that I don't sit on the couch all day long and eat bon bons!!!

Life is way TOO critical towards others. I did get to be over 388lbs at one time and worked my butt off to loose the weight (before all of this happend to me) I was down to 200lbs and feeling great, I am actually almost 5'10, so my ideal weight is about 180-200lbs. NOW all of this has happend to me, and well I gained weight, I find it more difficult to loose this unwanted weight and what the public thinks of me isn't a concern, I look good no matter what, I am NOT looking for a man, already have one, but there are other's out there who do have medical problems and does this world give a crap? HECK NO, they just sit back and make fun of others...WELL to hell with all of that, what is inside a person is what matters the most anyways, I don't care what you think about that, its the truth...NO one was born perfect! I hope all the people like myself and others find happiness within yourselves, because if you wait for someone else to make you happy you will NEVER be happy!

Daphnee · 10-12-2005, 06:39 PM

Shelley,

I'm right there with you. I can't for the life of me imagine what makes a man so shallow and mean to women of large girth!! Its very sad that they can't see we are people with feelings for crying out loud!!

My sister looks like a blonde barbie and thinks she is such a hotty totty, but guess what? The men leave her in the dust because of her attitude, its not pretty. Before I got married I dated a nice gentleman that dated a woman that was a good 350lbs or more. He said he couldn't take it anymore, her personailty was highly disappointing. I mean thats down right terrible that a man is leaving you because your personailty isn't good rather than your weight.

So many men get screwed because they are looking for miss america, or the perfect woman, that looks like she just walked out of a magazine. They end up getting hurt, because the woman is shallow herself, and then leaves him for someone who looks like a GQ model!!

Its time for these men to grow up,and look on the inside, I really feel for you but you'll make it, don't give up hope. I'm not critcizing all toned and thin women, I am just saying that men look more at their assets than whats inside, and I think thats pretty stupid.

Loose the weight for YOU honey, and don't even bother with a man that is dating you solely based on looks. Take care.

admired1 · 10-12-2005, 08:38 PM

Hi, daphnee couldnt have said it anybetter, I am a woman of size and I totally understand how men can overrate a very beautiful woman, it's definately not the out side that matters it's truly the inside and a person can be as beautiful as a butterfly, but if their inside don't match the outside their beauty is truly pointless...

Bigbay · 10-14-2005, 12:11 PM

Being a "MAN" who is over weight myself!!! I am very hurt by the things that are being said in here about "MEN"! It swings both ways, I have been passed up by women who are only out for the best looking "MEN", not the "MEN" who have a brain, but the one whose brain is somewhere else, but you don't see me blaming a gender for what happened to me. I had to see in myself that I did not need that type of person and I saw that it was not me that they hated but themselves they did not like. I know that you are hurt, but you need to look in YOURSELF first before other can see you for who you are! At my job, I work with all women and I hear this all the time, it makes my blood boil, now to hear this, just kills me. It just gets me that they go after the same kind of "MAN" everytime, one right after the other and gets burn everytime, but they can not see what they are doing to themselves, BUT it is easier to blame the "MEN" than stopping what they are doing. Ladies, I LOVE women with some meat on their bones and I have many friends who do too. Maybe if you stop and looked at the plan "MAN", you would not have so much pain!!! It tooks some time, but I found a Wife that see the "REAL MAN" inside me.

blank · 10-16-2005, 12:02 PM

why does everyone insist that its whats on the inside that counts?

no its not.

this society is based on looks, figure, and attractiveness.

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why should men change their whole scale of what's attractive to them while a woman should be able to not change anything about themselves, eat as much as they want, walk around overweight and proud of it?

i understand that there are health issues that cause obesity. but 50% of woman/50% of america doesn't have a health issue that made them go from being a normal weight to being obese.

the large majority of overweight people are humans with very little self control, unhealthy eating habits, and self-centered view of what should be the norm.

shelley, you should be blaming those people for giving you a bad reptuation.

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i spend an hour every morning at 6am lifting weights in the gym so that i can fulfill societies norm (hopefull exceeding that norm)---call it shallow, call it whatever. but it gives me confidence, self-esteem, keeps me healthy, and makes me more attractive to the opposite sex.

why should other people not do the same thing?
life isn't easy.