Your post is written very well, I very much agree with you as I have followed those stages too. I am married with 3 young children, I am 34 years old. I got too the same stage as you, not knowing what to do next. I get panic attacks too but usually not too severe. My blood pressure apparently is not too bad. I suffer back pain and my joints click but I can cope with it most days. The back pain is severe if I stand still for more than 5 mins so it gets me out of washing up.
You sound very frightened as if everything is out of your control and you don't know what to do, almost resigned to waiting for stage 3. You know what? You can still take control! I weighed 386lb in february last year and was told my blood pressure was very very high. I was told it was probably a one off as it had been OK before. My GP didn't do anything about it but it scared me into doing something about it. I have 3 kids, I am not leaving them without a mother! My father died when I was just 16 yrs old, he was only 38yrs. I not going to put my kids through what I went through.
February last year I joined a gym, I cut my portion size down and I worked hard. I have lost weight and now weigh around 336lb. It isn't just my weight though, I feel so much better in myself, I feel healthier, more positive and enjoy life a lot more. I have a lot of weight to lose and know it will take time but I am determined and know I can do it.
My husband does the shopping and still bought chocolate for me, it took a little while to get through to him but I refused the chocolate and gave it the kids, now he is supportive, even checking food labels to make sure they are healthy. Even he has lost 14 pound. My kids are much happier too, I have seen a difference in them.
I know you have other problems to deal with but you can get to where you want to be. You must eat lunch, skipping will make you binge on junk food later. A banana isn't enough for breakfast either, you need something more substantial. You have made a start on the treadmill, deep down you know you can do this. You just need a little support. You have to fight so that you don't reach stage 3, you have to work out what is important to you and how much you want to live.
Come on Dave be strong and fight, work out a plan. I cut down from a dinner plate to a side plate, I always have breakfast now too and if I am hungry I have a healthy snack. Food isn't everything, it is much easier than you think to give up the junk food and drinks. When you see the differnce a few pounds weight loss make it spurs you on to keep going. The weight loss affects your family too as you have more energy so can play with the kids, you become happier and the whole family become more positive. The first step is the hardest and you have already taken that. Just make sure you follow it through and don't give up!
Very best wishes,