I have hit rock bottom. - Obesity Message Board

Lanae · 10-20-2003, 11:53 AM

I am new here to the board. I am married, 31 years old. I have always had weight issues. My max weight was 310lbs at age 19. I lost my weight by the time I was 20. I was down to 138 for about two minutes. I starved myself to get the weight off and quickly regain to 150 and maintained that weight up until 4 years ago.
In 4 years, I have gained 110 pounds. I got married 4 years ago and became a "instant" mom. I have a step daughter. I lost my job a week after I got married and that is when I quickly gained another 50lbs (within months!!). I am a navy wife and had to move away from my family and friends for the first time...that was about 2 years ago and 20 more pounds. The 30 I have gained recently since March was my dad's death. I have went to counciling for my emotional eating and to deal with my dad's death.
Food is my drug and I am so addicted that I have lost myself. I no longer work because I have such pain in my back because of all the weight. I get discouraged everytime I get on the treadmil because my legs burn so bad and I can only work out 20 min. at a time. Today, I got off the treadmil crying and went upstairs and binged.
We have been trying to have a baby now for over 2 years and I was just recently put on infertility meds which have bloated me up so bad...I can't fit into any of my cloths. I wear sweat pants...isn't that attractive!
My husband doesn't say anyting to me and he says he will love me no matter what, buy ya know? I am truly at rock bottom. It seems like my life has just spun out of control.
My mom is coming for a visit in a couple of weeks and I feel so ashamed because I gained even more weight since she last saw me after my dad's death.
My heart hurts so bad. I hate this weight. I use to be pretty and out going. Now, I am a fat, frumpy, fertility med eating, crazed, housewife! LOL

I am thinking of going to my first WW meeting tomorrow. I was wondering if that would be a good program to do since I am still trying to get pg. My doctor wants me on a 1,500cal a day diet and to walk as much as I can. Do you think this program would help me stay on track and how is the support there?

Is there another suggestion out there? I am sorry to vent but I just wanted you to know my story and how I became this way. I want to find strength to get that lady back from 4 years ago. I just think about it and cry.

Any suggestions would be fantastic.

Thanks for listening.

Lanae

nikki2kids · 10-20-2003, 02:24 PM

Lanae, welcome. You'll find a great deal of support here, as I did. Realizing your problem (emotional eating) is half the battle. I know you can do it. I was pretty depressed when I first came here. I started Weight Watchers one and a half weeks ago. I like the program becaus I get to chose what I eat. You have to find what is best for you. A lot of people here have done well on Atkins. Regardless of what you do, you have to do it TODAY! Don't let another minute pass you by. I'm 34 and I want to spend what little youth is left as healthy and as happy as possible - that's why I want to lose the weight. I gained my weight with having two children. I also struggled with it in the past but having the 2 kids really packed on the pounds. I don't want you to look back 10 years from now and wish you lost the weight at age 31. I wish you the best of luck and I would like you to keep me posted - I want to know how you do. Don't worry about your mom's visit. She's going to love you no matter what. Just start today. Got to the meeting and see if you like the program. You can do it. Nikki

HONEYDEWS · 10-20-2003, 05:51 PM

Hello! I am using the South Beach Diet (eating plan) and I feel great, I know what it is to look in the mirror (if we can stand to do that) and not like what I see!!! Good luck to you, really rock bottom is when you start back up again, so climb your way to success. You can do it!!!!

DarkDarlin · 10-20-2003, 09:03 PM

Hi Lanae,
I am new to this site.When I read your post,I thought that I was reading about myself.I wish that I could talk to you and tell you that you are so not alone.I am
a military wife and stay at home mom of three.I am 130 lbs. over weight and feel that my life is ending right before my eyes.My husband is past the "I love you anyway you are stage", i am beginning to see the disgust in his eyes.You are not as bad off as I am, and I hope that you never will be.I don't even have the energy to clean my home properly anymore.what is so sad about this is that I am a veteran myself! I am ashamed, but I do not know how or where to start.I dont want to make this a pity party,because I need to get up off of my butt and make my life happen.I just wanted to to know that you are not alone.And by the way,20 minutes on the tread mill is better than nothing.Just dont give up.even if you can only manage 5 minutes a day, you will get there. Good luck with ww, they have really nice people there.i will talk to you again later.Today I am feeling sorry for myself, but I know that I will make things better for myself soon, and so will you.

------------------
Love yourself first,last and always--M.B.

thumsclerk · 10-24-2003, 01:56 PM

Hi everyone,

I am also new here. I am a 42 year old woman and have been overweight all my life. You know, "It's just baby fat!" Well, it may have started out that way, but by May 2003, I was up to 315 lbs and borderline diabetic. My sister had recently been diagnosed as diabetic (also obese) and I decided I wasn't going to end up the same way.

I had heard of a medical weight loss program called Lindora and went on line to get more information. I ordered a "starter kit" which included their book, a pedometer, some other items and 6 weeks of their on line support. It is low fat, low carb (so therefore, low calorie) and they encourage you to "move more". I was so heavy then, I could not walk very far, so I bought a recumbent stationary bike (it kicks back like a chair with pedals!) and put it in my bedroom. I had a little TV with a built-in VCR and started treating myself to $5 movies from Walmart and used video from rental places. I would only allow myself to watch the movies while I rode my bike.

When I started out, I could only ride 5 min at a time. I would ride first thing in the morning, before a shower and breakfast and work. And then ride again, a little longer, when I got home. I figured if I couldn't walk, I could exercise while doing what I like best (sitting and watching TV!) I have gradually worked up to 20 minutes in the morning and 45 minutes in the afternoon.

In the 23 weeks I have been on this diet and exercise plan, I have lost 80 lbs as of today! Praise the Lord and hallelujah!! My goal weight is 165 lbs, so I am more than half-way with 70 lbs to go. I have found that something that is very important is to record the foods you eat. That way, you are accountable, if only to yourself. There is a website called ******.com which is very helpful with keeping track of your weight, foods eaten, etc. And it's free!

I am not going to say that I never cheat or binge eat, because on occasions, I have. But I have to tell myself that losing this weight and being healthy is not a race, it's my life. So I just dust myself off and start again. Also, I have found that when I eat sweets or too many carbs, I gain weight very quickly (up to 5 lbs!), but it is water retention. I know this because I can lose the weight again within 2-3 days. My weight chart goes up and down, but I am learning to eat the way I must forever to stay healthy.

My husband and 3 children (17, 15, 11) are sooo proud of me. My husband has always said he loves me no matter how much I weigh, and this is true. But I want to be around for a long time (Lord willing) and if I don't lose weight, I will end up dead early like my father, from a heart attack, or have a stroke like my mother and end up bed-ridden. I have too much to do in this life to end up that way. I remind myself daily why I am losing this weight: for me, for my husband and for my kids (and for that pair of shorts I've never been able to wear without being embarassed

).

If anyone is interested, go to Lindora.com and learn how to be "Lean for Life" (their catch-phrase) like me!

Patti