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Old 05-07-2011, 11:23 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 1
xtina333 HB User
Unhappy Newbie..and obese:(

Hello, new here and wanted to introduce myself. I'm 20 years old, 5'4, 328 pounds. I feel awful As a child I was always pretty scrawny, then when I was 12 I really started gaining weight. I would sneak down into the fridge in the middle of the night and eat all the things I wasn't allowed to during the day (like cookies, ice cream and soda). This went on almost every night, my mom started to notice how much weight I was gaining and how fast. Now, my family are all very thin, and they can be quite mean. I still live at home, my mom can be cruel. She calls me Moo, Miss Piggy and Shamu. I have told her how this hurts me and her response? "Well lose weight , then I won't have to call you that" ***? She thinks she has a right to call me these names?

I am absolutely miserable here, I am so unhappy being this way, I have huge rolls on my stomach, so it's so uncomfortable for me to sit, my stomach rests on my upper thighs when I do I have tried exercise, even going for short walks in the evening, that was short lived. I was walking one evening and got insulted by some rude teens and haven't went out walking since. I barely leave the house, my mom calls me a fat hermit. I don't have a job, don't go to school. I have no income All due to my weight. I think a lot of the problem right now is my mom. I am eating healthier, drinking ton of water, doing exercises in the house, but when I start feeling good about what I'm doing, my mom ruins it by saying "well obviously what you are doing isn't working, you are still huge!" or she says "to lose weight, you actually have to get off your fat *** and get out of the house".

This morning was the worst I almost cannot take it anymore. Here it goes (sorry to ramble on here). This morning I got up, went upstairs, my mom was still sleeping. I got a small bowl of cereal and some water. Came downstairs after, changed and went into my room to do e few exercises, my mom bursts in and starts yelling at me about eating some M&Ms she had in the cupboard (which I did not. I didn't even know they were there!) I told her I didn't touch them, that I had cereal, she says "ya, I really believe you, that's why you are 300 pounds, because you only eat cereal!". She then went on to say she was going to kick my fat *** out soon, that I would be alone forever, I'll never find a job looking the way I do and so on. Now being a heavy girl, I don't have many clothes..not to mention, I have no $$ to buy new ones. So I have one pair of pants, and yes, I wear them everyday because they are all that fits. They are pretty old and worn out, but comfy. Well this afternoon after me and my moms fight, she took it upon herself to go in my room while I was upstairs (my bedroom is in the basement), and dig around (she said she was looking for hidden food), she then proceeded to throw away my pants! my only pair. I was wearing ripped legging at the time she did this , I wear them to exercise but can't wear them in public because they are really tattered. I asked her why she did this? She said that the pants were ugly. Yup, that was her excuse, they were ugly! I really hate her. They were ruined, she ripped them before she threw them in the trash. I don't know what to do now. I am lost. She wants me out, I have nowhere to go. My dad lives far away and we don't really talk. I have a sister that is living in a dorm, grandparents have passed away. I have no friends. I don't know what to do. Sorry this was so long, sorry about the grammar and so on, I am crying as I write this. Thanks for listening.

 
The following user gives a hug of support to xtina333:
JoseLo (05-08-2011)
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Old 05-08-2011, 12:43 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Newcastle, UK
Posts: 2
JoseLo HB User
Re: Newbie..and obese:(

Hi Xtina,
I give to you a hug because it sounds like a horrible time for you. I understand what it is like because I am about your age, and like you I cannot enjoy the normal life of a young person, and is mostly related to my weight (5'6 male, over 400lbs). Of course, we all know losing weight is the thing to do, but of course it is not so easy.

I think of 2 things when I read your post- firstly, to stand a chance to lose weight, you need a loving and supportive environment. You need to feel good about yourself, that you deserve a better life, and the confidence to go out and try and the self beleif that you can. To have this, you need love and encouragement from people who beleive also in you. Also you need people who can give practical help like to make and enjoy healthy food together, and give you support when you sad or when it feels too hard. Sadly you have none of this in your home, so no wonder it is hard. I think you need to tell to your mother this- I don't know, maybe in a funny way she thinks she is helping. Maybe see if you can make her see it is a different kind of help you need? If she cannot do this, is there any chance you canmove to a more caring environment, example relative or friend?
If this is also impossible, I guess you have to try best to do it without mothers support. I think you need to connect with friends who love and support you- do you have friends you can contact, who can be helpful? Also uses online communities like this for support.

The second thing I think is regardless of weight, everyone should be treated with dignity and respect. I am so sorry you don't have this in your life at home. You need to know you are a great person who deserves love and a good life. This helps give to you strength.

Think of the great qualities you have already and the things you have to give. Think of what you will do when you feel happier and more confident.Once you can be at this stage, beginning to lose weight can maybe be easier.

I think an important thing to remember is the main problem is not weight (I know it can have big health inpact and such, not denying that) BUT... the problem is about your happiness and self esteem. When you are treated bad, it is harder to lose weight, and it perpetuates, as unkind people make you feel even worse. I hope you can find the ways to start beleiving in yourself and to love yourself.

Take care, I hope this helps. Please feel free to be in touch if you like to talk to someone who understands.
JoseLo

 
Old 06-25-2011, 08:13 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 588
Mulchie HB UserMulchie HB UserMulchie HB UserMulchie HB UserMulchie HB UserMulchie HB UserMulchie HB UserMulchie HB UserMulchie HB UserMulchie HB UserMulchie HB User
Re: Newbie..and obese:(

Hello
I am so sorry for what is going on in your life right now. I send you a big hug. This weight thing causes us such grief. But I agree with the other post your weight is not the only issue. It is hard to become successful when your surounded by negativity. I said it is hard but not impossible. You have to have a meeting with yourself. People steel our joy our happiness and its wrong. Maybe your mom does think she is helping. Some people do tend to think harsh remarks will motivate. But they dont. Most times they just make us feel worse. You need to be strong you need to be healthy and you need to walk. Yes the teens were rude to you but I be damed I would not let them steel that from you. Walk another way or walk somewhere else. Go where it is safe and keep walking. It really helps to feel better and it helps motivate. You need to get out of the house. There are people in this world who have over come great difficulty in their life because they changed their way of thinking. Have you thought about that. Change your way of thinking. What ever has happened to get you where you are today cant be changed but the rest of your life can be changed. The next step you take could make a big difference. Ask your mom to help you loose weight.( sorry if that was a bad suggestion I am not there so I dont know) Is there a YWCA anywhere around you where you can go and work out for free. Check out the internet and find out what programs are available in your town for FREE. Go to a thrift store get some new pants.
I wish you all the best and I will keep you in my prayers.
God Bless
Mulchie

 
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