Hello, new here and wanted to introduce myself. I'm 20 years old, 5'4, 328 pounds. I feel awful
As a child I was always pretty scrawny, then when I was 12 I really started gaining weight. I would sneak down into the fridge in the middle of the night and eat all the things I wasn't allowed to during the day (like cookies, ice cream and soda). This went on almost every night, my mom started to notice how much weight I was gaining and how fast. Now, my family are all very thin, and they can be quite mean. I still live at home, my mom can be cruel. She calls me Moo, Miss Piggy and Shamu. I have told her how this hurts me and her response? "Well lose weight , then I won't have to call you that" ***? She thinks she has a right to call me these names?
I am absolutely miserable here, I am so unhappy being this way, I have huge rolls on my stomach, so it's so uncomfortable for me to sit, my stomach rests on my upper thighs when I do
I have tried exercise, even going for short walks in the evening, that was short lived. I was walking one evening and got insulted by some rude teens and haven't went out walking since. I barely leave the house, my mom calls me a fat hermit. I don't have a job, don't go to school. I have no income
All due to my weight. I think a lot of the problem right now is my mom. I am eating healthier, drinking ton of water, doing exercises in the house, but when I start feeling good about what I'm doing, my mom ruins it by saying "well obviously what you are doing isn't working, you are still huge!" or she says "to lose weight, you actually have to get off your fat *** and get out of the house".
This morning was the worst
I almost cannot take it anymore. Here it goes (sorry to ramble on here). This morning I got up, went upstairs, my mom was still sleeping. I got a small bowl of cereal and some water. Came downstairs after, changed and went into my room to do e few exercises, my mom bursts in and starts yelling at me about eating some M&Ms she had in the cupboard (which I did not. I didn't even know they were there!) I told her I didn't touch them, that I had cereal, she says "ya, I really believe you, that's why you are 300 pounds, because you only eat cereal!". She then went on to say she was going to kick my fat *** out soon, that I would be alone forever, I'll never find a job looking the way I do and so on. Now being a heavy girl, I don't have many clothes..not to mention, I have no $$ to buy new ones. So I have one pair of pants, and yes, I wear them everyday because they are all that fits. They are pretty old and worn out, but comfy. Well this afternoon after me and my moms fight, she took it upon herself to go in my room while I was upstairs (my bedroom is in the basement), and dig around (she said she was looking for hidden food), she then proceeded to throw away my pants! my only pair. I was wearing ripped legging at the time she did this , I wear them to exercise but can't wear them in public because they are really tattered. I asked her why she did this? She said that the pants were ugly. Yup, that was her excuse, they were ugly! I really hate her. They were ruined, she ripped them before she threw them in the trash. I don't know what to do now. I am lost. She wants me out, I have nowhere to go. My dad lives far away and we don't really talk. I have a sister that is living in a dorm, grandparents have passed away. I have no friends. I don't know what to do. Sorry this was so long, sorry about the grammar and so on, I am crying as I write this. Thanks for listening.