Originally Posted by redrose51
Im writing as Im concerned about my husband. he is comtemplating have this type of surgery. He has excessiver pain in his knees and they think that him haveing this surgery will help with this problem. Right now his eating habits are as follows. 6 P&J sandwiches for brerakfast/lunch. during the course of the day 6 to 8 cans or diet soda. for dinner. hungry man dinners or hamburgers/fries.
on occassion he will have a 1/2 gallon of ice cream etc.
we have tried to talk about this but it leads to bad arguements. so I dont say anything anymore. I haver a major concern if he does have this surgery if he mentally will be able to handle it with the major change of the eating habits etc.
His weight now is at about 370 or so. they want him tyo loose quite abit. he is 6'2 or so. If anyone could write back it would be very much appreciated. thank you in advance.
You are right to be concerned. If you don't resolve the underlying problem, gastric bypass will just turn it into a new addiction, like gambling or drinking. Your husband probably has binge eating disorder. Luckily, there are treatments for it and he can overcome it. It is not easy, though.
BED is marked by out-of-control binges where you consume extreme quantities of food. It also has these features:
- Feeling disconnected, zoned out and out of control when binge eating.
- Eating faster during binges.
- Getting excessively defensive/angry if someone comments on what/how much you are eating or on your weight/shape.
- Feelings of extreme shame and self-hatred, especially following a binge.
- Tendency to want to be alone while binge eating.
There is a big correlation between PTSD, BPD and ADHD and binge eating or night eating disorders. The problem is very much related to not having coping skills for stress and also not knowing how to take care of yourself (usually bc you were neglected/abused as a child).
There are two very good books focused on *doing* something about the problem: "Don't Diet, Live-It" and "Appetite Awareness Training Workbook". I'd still recommend getting help from a therapist specializing in eating disorders, though. You might want to visit one yourself first so they can help you bring him into treatment.
I'm pretty sure nobody's gonna listen to me, but hey, I may as well throw it out there. If you want to skip all the BS, there are a few things you will find that help:
1. For PTSD, do EMDR. I thought it was total bull, and only tried it to shut my friend up. It works. EEG Neurofeedback works extremely well, too. Actually, that would solve a lot of his problems. Best money you will ever spend, I can promise you that.
2. Meditate. No, I'm serious. BPD, binge eating disorder, PTSD and even Bipolar Disorder all have an underlying component in common- the lack of coping skills to handle stress. Meditation is good, so is exercise, martial arts, yoga, creative outlets like painting, writing, etc. If he's like me and has difficulty sitting still for meditation, he can try walking meditation or Emotional Freedom Technique/Tapping (yeah, you'll feel like a total idiot doing this one, but I'll be damned if it doesn't work.)
3. Only one therapy has ever shown reasonable effectiveness for BPD: dialectical behavior therapy. It is effective about 50% of the time, while other treatments have generally failed on BPD. It is a specialized type of cognitive behavioral therapy. It would go a long way towards giving him real coping skills for controlling his temper, being less argumentative, stopping hating himself so much and be far less anxious.
I hope your husband gets better soon. Don't give up, there are a lot of solutions out there!