bandb5

I am a 33 year old male going through many, many changes at this time. I have always been pretty level headed and only a brief history of depression about 10 years ago with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

Let me list the major things that have happened to me in the past two years and then see if I can explain what has gone on lately.

1. Got married and moved to a new town, new job and bought a house.
2. Wife lost her job about 6 months later.
3. Resigned from my position and will seek employment after I finish out my contract in 5 months.
4. Wife found a new job and moved away for the time being for our financial reasons. I will join her once the house is sold and my job is through.
5. Finally, the positive.....we are going to have our first child in August.

Recently, I quit chewing tobacco. I then became sick with an intestinal problem that wouldn't go away. I obsessed about that and searched and searched as to why it wouldn't go away. Went to the Doc and it was IBS. Gave me a pill....good as new. BP is 100/60, great shape, etc. etc. Suddenly I started obsessing about death. Not any particular kind...just getting old and not being here someday. Looking back at how fast time has passed me by. This thought has saddened me so much that I am now depressed. I sit and cry, not because of what is going to happen way in the future, but because of my current state of mind. I am lonely, sick to my stomach, and scared because I never used to be this way. I love life and want to enjoy it to the fullest.

My question is has anyone else had similar thoughts. Is there hope that I will return to normal? Could this be situational?? or chemical?

I am seeing a therapist next week. I decided to post over here because when I looked at my favorite places, there were things in there about internal disorders, depression, anxiety, and medical technology in the next 100 years, life expectancy increases, etc.

This is just freakin me out because it has come on all of the sudden and I should be happy about so many things in my life. Its almost like a midlife crisis at 33. I feel helpless, paniced and sad....at the same time I know its unrealistic to be having all of these worries. Its just so sudden.

Anyone with any thought, insight, or experience they would like to share is welcomed.