Religious Morbid Obsession? - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Rsspro18 · 02-07-2004, 09:39 AM

I've recently had the obsession that God told me to kill someone. The thought will come in my mind, and I obviously don't like it. Now let me make clear the I don't really believe God is telling me anything and I'm not communicating with God!! The thought is scary though and I don't really believe it. If it causes me a lot of distress I'll change the thought by saying God told me to never kill anyone to feel better. I believe the obsession came about because I would sometimes have obsessions about killing or hurting people, and I would talk myself out of it (complusion) sometimes by thinking things like God told me not to kill anyone. Along the lines of the the thou shall not kill thing. I figured my belief in God would help and the fact that killing goes against everything that I really feel is right. Obviously killing is horrible and wrong. So, now I think my OCD is playing back at me with the recent obsession. Not sure though, anyone ever experience anything similar? Is the a morbid obsession or a religous obsession, or both?

Flutegirl7 · 02-07-2004, 04:26 PM

Sounds like religious obsession to me (although of a morbid nature). I have similar issues (I'm afraid not praying for God to keep someone safe - the compulsion - will cause others to die - the obsession).

Have you read "The Imp of the Mind" by Lee Baer yet? I'm reading it right now - I think it will give you a lot of insight into what's going on. It sounds like you have the kind of OCD called scrupulosity. The fact that you're distressed by the thoughts, and that you know God's not really telling you these things, is a very good sign.

NoonBlueApples · 02-07-2004, 10:40 PM

When I was younger I would make little bets with myself like I would have to do such and such thing or I am going to die, or go to hell....after loosing religion later on it switched over to a more secular version where I am afraid if I don't do a certain thing I will get a certain disease...(I know in real life that doesn't happen but I cannot stop feeling that way)....also I used to wish on stars, birthdaycakes, and digital clocks with repeating number like 11:11, but now I have to stuggle to turn away from the clocks and such because I am terrified I will accidentally wish something horrible to happen to someone, just because I have no control of my thoughts...I am worried I will look at the clock and for a split second uncontrollably wish something horrible on someone I love because I will accidentally think it for a moment and it will count....I know things don't work that way in real life but it still bothers me...