ok, I'm not gonna go too much into detail because I'm too embarassed. One night, I felt like these thoughts hit me out of nowhere. I never felt like this in my whole life. I feel very much different when these thoughts and worries are in my head. They pretty much are questions of the type, what if ? or could I be ? or maybe I didn't know and I am, stuff like that. These questions take up my whole time, as I'm always obsessed about them. everywhere I go, I check myself to see if I really want to be what these thoughts tell me to be. I feel so scared and anxious when these questions and thoughts hit me, and I just wanna be myself again. Sometimes, these thoughts leave me for a moment, and I can breathe easily and feel relief, and be happy that I am myself again. When they hit me again, my heart starts racing and my stomach feels tight again. My biggest fear of all is that one day, I'll give in and these thoughts will convince me to comply with them. so ... does this generalization sound like OCD to you? and , if my subconscious somehow approved of these thoughts, then I shouldn't be so anxious when I have them, right? I mean, if I really felt the need of what these thoughts are telling me, I shouldn't be so scared of them, right? well, I'm terrified. I want to drill a hole in my head and suck these thoughts out with a vacuum cleaner, cuz they scare the crap outta me. thank you for your responses and all the best for you and your peace of mind
ok calm down i think u have a mix of OCD and anxiety problems. Please see a doctor and get help for this as soon as possible. YOU also have to understand that whatever you think is JUST your anxiety and will always be your anxeity so you will never act on it no matter what. the worst that will happen is u may just have a panic attack. BUT you wont go crazy. anyways hope u get help soon
Quote:
Originally Posted by alex85
ok, I'm not gonna go too much into detail because I'm too embarassed. One night, I felt like these thoughts hit me out of nowhere. I never felt like this in my whole life. I feel very much different when these thoughts and worries are in my head. They pretty much are questions of the type, what if ? or could I be ? or maybe I didn't know and I am, stuff like that. These questions take up my whole time, as I'm always obsessed about them. everywhere I go, I check myself to see if I really want to be what these thoughts tell me to be. I feel so scared and anxious when these questions and thoughts hit me, and I just wanna be myself again. Sometimes, these thoughts leave me for a moment, and I can breathe easily and feel relief, and be happy that I am myself again. When they hit me again, my heart starts racing and my stomach feels tight again. My biggest fear of all is that one day, I'll give in and these thoughts will convince me to comply with them. so ... does this generalization sound like OCD to you? and , if my subconscious somehow approved of these thoughts, then I shouldn't be so anxious when I have them, right? I mean, if I really felt the need of what these thoughts are telling me, I shouldn't be so scared of them, right? well, I'm terrified. I want to drill a hole in my head and suck these thoughts out with a vacuum cleaner, cuz they scare the crap outta me. thank you for your responses and all the best for you and your peace of mind
first I thought it sounded more like "generalized anxiety", but when I read what you said about being afraid that you could "give in" to those thoughts and so on, I must say it does sound like OCD. You didn' say what the thoughts were, but the fact that you are embarrassed about them ad that they are something you do not "want to be" does make it sound like a very common type f OCD. Let me give you some examples of that type of OCD - maybe you can relate to one of them:
- a mother who is afraid she might suddenly hurt her children
- a driver who is afraid he will suddenly decide to hit somebody with his car
- a man who loves his wife but suddenly is being plagued by thoughts of
"what if I don't really love her?" or "what if I'm gay and I just don't know it?"
- a God-fearing person who has intrusive thoughts that are very blasphemous
- a peace-loving person who has intrusive violent thoughts
Do these examples sound like your kind of anxiety problem?
If yes - that is, as i said, a common form of OCD. it is called intrusive thoughts.
You say very well that if you approved of them, they wouldn't cause anxiety. And that's just the thing: That kind of OCD gives you thoughts that are totally NOT what you believe in. Remember from the example: It is the God-fearing person who gets the blasphemous thoughts, and the loving mother who gets the thoughts of hurting her children. Etc.
Just knowing that can really be a great relief: Such thoughts do NOT mean that you are a "bad person". There is also really nothing to be ashamed of. Believe me, if there is any embarrassing thought that an OCD-plagued brain can come up with, it has already been there. You are not alone in this!
my thoughts are of a sexual matter, and it's pretty much based on doubt. it first was about if I was gay or not. now it elevated into something much bigger ... hmmm ... and I just hope it's OCD cause otherwise, if I give in, I'll be doomed for the rest of my life ... see, when these thoughts don't chase me, I'm so calm and so happy that I am the way I am. but when the thoughts haunt me again, I fall into a big sea of confusion and "what ifs", and "I might turn into" ... I read about CBT, but I'm afraid to even accept these thoughts (as part of the treatment), because if I begin not to be anxious when I have them, I think I will somehow embrace them. so it's like an anxiety to back up my previous anxiety. that's how horrified I am of this ocd ... meanwhile, I will enjoy my few moments of being normal, each day. btw, when I feel normal, it's like a veil has been lifted off my brain, and I can think clearly again. any other opinions on my issue are very welcomed.
Sexual obsessions are actually quite common. Like Prettyboi said, these thoughts are your OCD speaking. YOu will not act on them. You need to stop these thoughts. Everytime the thought pops in your head you need to stop. I even talk out loud if noone is around. I say, "Thought get out of my head! An then counter your thought. It is a ton of work, and I'll be the first to admit that I don't always have the energy to do it. But you need to do something for yourself our you are going to stress yourself out to the max. Do you see anyone?? I strongly, strongly, strongly recommend you see a psychiatrist and a therapist. We are here for you. You don't have to be embarrassed.
see, when these thoughts don't chase me, I'm so calm and so happy that I am the way I am. but when the thoughts haunt me again, I fall into a big sea of confusion and "what ifs", and "I might turn into" ... I read about CBT, but I'm afraid to even accept these thoughts (as part of the treatment), because if I begin not to be anxious when I have them, I think I will somehow embrace them. so it's like an anxiety to back up my previous anxiety. that's how horrified I am of this ocd ... meanwhile, I will enjoy my few moments of being normal, each day. btw, when I feel normal, it's like a veil has been lifted off my brain, and I can think clearly again. any other opinions on my issue are very welcomed.
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