what the hell is wrong with my punk *** - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

heroinbob · 02-20-2004, 09:38 AM

yeah i need some help. i have been told that i have ocd. lately though i cant just use that to make my self feel better. its like i used to be able to identify with the fact that it was just me obssessing, but now i cant do that. its weird its like one day ill be on top of the world, depending on my thoughts. however the very next day i will be upset and thinking about my past mistakes and i really beat my slef up for things. the main one is my ex girlfiend. i was totally obssesd with her and when we broke up i became like boarderling stalker. always calling her and getting really ****ed at her for things that were actually my fault. on my bad days i will think about her and run through different senarios in my head about what happend and how i had no control over my actions and **** liek that. ill make things up too, things that never happend arguments that never exsisted and try to solve them. the whole time i dont recognize this as an obssesion, i just think and think and think. now im afraid of things that havent happend. like in future relationshis what will i do if this happens again, that is me just totally obbsesing about her. and that makes me ****ed too, like i thought that was love, i coulndt find fault in her she couldnt do anything wrong it was all my fault and i still kidna belive that to this day. and if this is jsut steroytypical obssesing thta ****es me off too. why the **** shoud i have to manage my thoughts, why cant i just obssess? what the hell. then i feel alot of social anixety sometimes too. and i dont recognize it as a probleml, i just say hell this is the way i am. its like im afraid to change and afraid to except that im human, perfection seems like the only answer. i hate life one day the next im like on this high and everythigns great. i dont know what im rambling aobut hopfully someone can give a suggestion. also i tend to have alot of fre tiem on my hands, im constanyle board and alone. somgone fuerlkajt lkasjf laskf jas safkj safas. PUNK rock is the only answer

ABC~Mom · 02-20-2004, 05:44 PM

well i think you need to move on with your life, if you have all this time on your hands to obsess about an ex girlfriend then you must have time to fill it with something more constructive. and dont tell me there is nothing constructive to fill your time with

, i knew a person once who seemed very depressed and they joined the volunteer fire dept. and now they feel more in charge of their life (and there are hospitals, animal shelters, nursing homes...the list is endless) of places who need volunteers...
and you need to stop criticizing yourself....did you know it takes 17 compliments to delete one criticizm?
and on the days when you are upbeat what makes you that way? incorporate that into the days that are not so upbeat...good luck...

cherryfroggie7 · 02-22-2004, 12:33 PM

bob,
I'm in no place to judge, but it almost seems like you have manic depression or bi-polar disorder. You say that one day you feel great, the next, sucky. I really have no advice to give, except you could look up more about OCD (you say youd had/have it) and bi-polar disorder.
Good luck,
-Len

ABC~Mom · 02-22-2004, 08:40 PM

you know you may just have something there cherryfroggie7, i really think it might be a good idea to do some reasearch on that heroinbob...good luck

SullenlyIfadE · 02-23-2004, 07:11 PM

I too agree with Cherry, you might have bi-polar or some other form of sever depression, but I am pretty sure of one thing you do have an OCD related illness. I is called OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder). You say that your thoughts don't seem strange to you and they don't really bother you until you start to think they are from OCD. That is one sign of OCPD, people with that disorder don't think there is a problem with their actions/thoughts. Maybe you could find an online OCPD test and see if you have any characteristics related to that disorder.