kalebnzekesmum

hi, i'm new.
i have ocd, borderline personality disorder and generalized anxiety disorder.
ocd is a major issue for me and is starting to cause problems in my relationship with my soon-to-be hubby.
my obsession lately of choice seems to be clorox, or anything with bleach in it. i have to have it. i have to buy it. i need it. i have about 8 bottles of bleach and probably somewhere around 50 gallons of laundry detergent in our utility room. i'm worried i'll run out. and i obsessively clean everything with bleach, or i fear contamination. i even wash my dishes in antibacterial soap + bleach. it's causing problems mainly because i keep buying it and i spend most of my money on it.
i do everything in multiples of 3.
i have ritualized bathing/grooming habits. my socks have to be the same length all the time or i feel funny.
i eat small candies/food in even numbers. i also obsessively check spelling on almost everything.
things have to be organized and put in a certain place. i have also been known to have displaced anger at awkward times, and just blurt things out.
i have irrational fears.
i check and re-check my doors to make sure they're locked. and repeatidly turn lights on and off until i'm satisfied.
i have to write letters/envelopes/papers over and over until they're 'perfect'.
i fear serious illness. and i always think i have symptoms of something and take preventative measures to prevent any oncoming sickness.
i secretly count ceiling/floor tiles in my head.
i collect 'useless' things...
i'm worried worried worried sick my baby will get sids. and i'm nervous all the time about my kids' well-being. i'm always checking to see if they're breathing, and i'm always rubbing their hands down with germ-x.
that's pretty much it that i can think of right now mainly because my kids are screaming and i can't concentrate... :P