Re: help:i am not gay but these thoughts wont go away.................
Oh ya, many people go through this man. There are a ton of threads on this site alone that deal with this ocd directly.
I too was a virgin at 20 years old. This ocd has tormented me for 2 years. As i write this it is tormenting me. I have read books and talked to many guys and a few women who have gone through the same stuff.
It all started for me on day driving down the freeway and when i pulled off the interstate i got behind this guy who i could see through his side mirror. just looking at his face and thought "this guy is good looking, bet he gets all the women". then like my life ended, my panic and anxiety went through the roof man. I just wanted to runaway.
I have spent countless nights just wanting to dissapear because I convinced myself that i was gay. I hated life and didnt want to think of my gay future. All my life i have wanted women, alot. Never ever questioned my sexuality all through high school or ever. I was just one of the guys who partied and drank beer. I got very isolated and didnt want to hang out with my friends because i hated myself.
When it comes to the gay ocd i have been through it and then some. I even was convinced that i was a women in a mans body and that is why i have been having these gay thoughts. this is a crazy ocd and it can be very tricky to deal with.
I can no longer just think of women and get turned on like i used to. It sucks. I love looking at a nice pair or a nice butt, but there seems to be this intense fear blocking my normal feelings twords women.
I have had some good days and some not so good days. I to consider myself to be straight. I just dont feel like I used to be. I just deal with it day by day and try not to get to crazy with it all because what else or ya going to do?
I went 20 years of my happy life without a gay thought, then boom! Ocd struck and now i think i am gay. Its all crazy man. Hang in there you can get through this because i am. Its not easy but what other choice you got?
check with alex86, nokia6, crazzygrl, grl3900, and cavl to chat with.
there is not magic pill or answer that is going to make this go away as fast as it came, i know that sucks.
Challenge yourself to beat this, challenge the fear of the ocd and conquer it.
Ask that cute girl out in spite of your ocd, that is because you are straight and despite what your ocd is telling you dont listen to it.
ill be in touch -elektrix