partner with ocd - help required! - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

rache · 05-12-2004, 05:04 AM

please help. i am desperate to share my experiences of a partner with ocd with others who can understand. My partner and i love each other dearly, we have both failed at marriage previously,and since found each other - 90% of our life is perfect - loving, honest, and passionate.
HOwever he is plagued with thoughts that preoccupy him, I believe as a result of a confusing and religious upbringing. He sees images of vivid sexual images of ME with other people. These leave him uncontrollably ridden with negative thoughts and the subsequent behaviour of rejection and ill feeling towards me, mostly quite short lived, understandably leave a massive strain on us. He is simply unable to entertain the thought of me having a past and cant begin to forgive me for not being a virgin. It is so much more than usual sexual jealousy because the pain it causes leads him to a depressive state where he even mentions suicide as a way out.

While I will remain compassionate and understanding always, most of what i read concerns intrusive thoughts about the individual who is having them. Is there anyone out there who has to suffer the consequences of their parner's ocd - when it is about them and put onto them? I could really do with some support. Meanwhile, we are reading alot, talking a lot and he begins time with a new psycho therapist on thursday - here's hoping it will help

hry33 · 05-12-2004, 06:05 PM

Hi, OCD can cause unwanted thoughts but so can other things, the best meds for OCD are the antidepressants, these often help, also reducing stress and anxiety

books on overcoming OCD have useful advice although some dont mention the unwanted thoughts much at all, try a library

FroBoyPeaceGuy · 05-13-2004, 02:27 AM

My girlfriend has had many of the episodes you mentioned on various occations. The key I learned is though they may "see" these images, the key is do not let these images work you up. Remember that true love can work through anything, and that your partner loves you unconditonally. In his eyes, you are the most beautiful thing out there. You are the strength that will stay with him through thick and thin. The thing I noticed bout these sexual images that take place in my gf's mind, they seem to deal w/ someone who they has close relations to (friend, family, in some cases animals, (not my gf w/ the last one) and sometimes with someone who is a celeberty).

Just show him you are his best friend, and that you will comfort him and listen (VERY IMPORTANT), cause these words hold the key to learning how to get a control of the OCD

rache · 05-13-2004, 12:04 PM

thank you for that lovely encouraging reply. I intend to do all of the things you suggest - as you know it isnt always an easy task, but he is worth it all and i hope we get through this successfully. Thank you for sharing, Rachel x