agonising over whats happened. - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

why_did_you · 05-13-2004, 07:21 AM

I keep going over and OVER the same thing. As people may- or may not- know my problem lies with a teacher who hurt me last year.

I keep getting what my physcologist calls 'memories', which I assume are flashbacks of things that have happened and I feel the same intense feelings as I did when it did happen. Or maybe I didn't feel those feelings then; I just cringe, not of embarassement or anything- it just HURTS. Can anyone relate to this?

I'll give an example. About a few weeks ago, before a panic attack, I saw 'her' (which triggered the attack). Now usually when I see 'her', I jump, freeze and have an inward gasp before my adreniline takes me out of there, because I just have to go. This time I did the first two but I screamed, which made 'her' jump as well. That keeps repeating over and over in my mind- that scream and how 'she' jumped too. There's also other things- such as things she said to me last year, things we both did, etc. I just can't seem to get away from it.

My head is just filled with these 'things'. And they just won't go away.

I just wondered if anyone could relate? Is this OCD? Has anyone else had anything similar. I'd apprechiate a reply.

Thanks take care. xXx

Jenneh · 05-15-2004, 01:22 PM

i can kind of relate to what your going through. im not sure if it is actual OCD, or if its just a reaction to what you have obviously been thru. but i guess, it is stil a form of OCD, whether its triggered by something else or not.

at night, or sometimes during the day, i have obsessive thoughts about what iv done during the day, that may have been good or may have been bad. these thoughts just kinda replay themselves over and over in my head, and even wen i try and get them to go away because they can be upsetting, they still manage to take over my mind.

have you spoken to anyone about what this teacher did to you? because just bottling it up inside is not going to help you move forwrd in ur life.

Jen xxxxx

why_did_you · 05-15-2004, 04:21 PM

Hi,

Yes, I have spoken to people about what happened with 'her'. It was a confusing time; it's not so much what happened although I was really hurt by 'her' actions, but how they've affected me. I don't know why really. I know 'she' shouldn't have treated me like that but all the same...

I have a physcologist, counseller and am seeing a physciatrist for the first time on friday. My parents know as do close friends. My school also is aware because of my panic attacks and also because I can't go to certain places, etc.

I wish you all the best with what you're going through. Its horrible when they 'take over your mind'. It's like you have no power over your mind. You just want them to GO AWAY.. but they don't.

aww. ((huggles)).

Thanks for the reply.

Take care,

xxx