The_Cheese_Man

Ok, does anyone else have an obscession that thier room mate, husband, wife, etc is trying to poison them?. I have been married for 22 years now and we have a wonderful relationship but every time my wife is out in the kitchen cooking, I find myself being driven nuts thinking about what she might be putting in my food and I can't hardly stand it unless I'm right there watching her from the moment she starts preparing dinner until the moment it's served on the plates. I have to see everything first-hand just to "make sure" she did'nt "slip" something in there without my knowing about it. Sometimes I even sneak up on her while she's cooking or spy on her from a distance and yes, many times, I've even switched plates with her when she was'nt looking or outright asked her to switch plates with me and then made up an excuse for "why" I wanted her to do this. She always looked at me kind of strangely but never refused or acted suspicious about it. Many times I've insisted that she "taste" something and she has also never refused.

Sometimes, I'll ask her "pointed" questions to try and trick her into revealing the truth and if she takes too long answering, I'll get REALLY suspicious and think she's hiding something. I suffer from OCD, IBS, GAD and Panic Disorder and these things make the situation even worse because just *thinking* that maybe I'm being poisoned will bring on symptoms of a panic attack and I end up thinking these same symptoms are from being poisoned. Ok, I am dirt-poor and I don't have some huge life insurance policy. There is NO motive whatsoever for her to want to do me in and besides, she is a great wife and would give anyone the shirt of her back.

Like this evening, she called me to dinner and there were two salads sitting there on the kitchen table. She had already begun eating one of them and had left the other one on the edge of the table for me. I ate it but it tasted really spicey and hot and when I asked her what was in it, she paused for a few seconds and then said "oh, I added some pepper juice to it". I went ahead and finished it but within an hour or two I began to develop sharp pains on the left side of my neck and a prickly-type headache. I just did'nt feel right. Why?.

This has gone on for years now and meal-time has become a MAJOR hassle with my feeling like I can't get anything done because I constantly have to be out int he kitchen watching her every move, what she is touching, checking things in the fridge all the time to see if they were "tampered with" since the LAST time I checked them, watching her cook meals, etc. Often, I will outright ask her if she "put" something in my food and if she say's "of course not", then I'll demand that she taste it then. If she refuses or say's "I'm not hungry", then I'll get really suspicious and ask her what's wrong with it and refuse to eat it until she tastes it first. Usually, she takes it in stride but sometimes we argue over my paranoia and once she got really mad and would'nt speak to me all day.

I'm always asking her if she washed her hands, checking the soap to make sure she did and then grilling her about the exact manner she used while washing her hands. Then I'll demand to see under her nails to see if there is any dirt under them, etc. I tell you, I HATE being like this and I know good and well she certainly is NOT doing anything to my food but I am just consumed with this OCD that she is putting stuff in there when I'm not looking. We have eaten a LOT of separate meals and I have passed up some pretty good home-cooked meals because of this. I also can't eat meat because I used to work in a slaughterhouse and saw animals have their "privates" cut off with NO anesthesia whatsoever and people were shocking and beating and stabbing them and laughing about it, etc so between my refusal to eat meat and my fear of poisoning, meal time for me has become a total NIGHTMARE!!!.

Sorry this is so long but I've been really wanting to get this off of my chest for a l-o-n-g time. How would I even know if I was being poisoned and what signs would I watch for?. I must sound ridiculous but I can't help it. I am just nuts with this thing!!!.

Thank's everyone