please help me - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

aprilmay · 05-31-2004, 07:00 PM

I've had severe ocd for about 12 years now, and i have the worst intrusive thoughts that I cannot stop, please dont think that i'm disgusting. They dont turn me on or anything, but they make me feel sooooo guilty..... Sometimes when i'm watching tv or something or see a kid, bad thoughts come into my head that i dont want too!! like sexual thoughts and it really scares me.. the more i try not to think about it the more the thoughts come.. and the worst thing is that im 8 months pregnant and i'm scared that im going to be scared of my child, please help me!! I tried prozac, paxil, zoloft, zyprexa, risperdal.... this isn't my only problem with ocd but it is the worst by far cuz i feel soooo guilty

Kathrin74 · 06-01-2004, 06:37 AM

Hello Aprilmay,

all I want to say is DON'T FEEL GUILTY!!!! I know how OCD can be though, it can come up with all kinds of reasons why you should feel guilty anyway... argh, OCD, the beast!!

But remember: Those thoughts are your OCD, they are not you!!!!!
Yes, that's right. And see: The OCD beast always chooses something that it puts in your head that it knows will upset you. Your OCD KNOWS that you are NOT turned on by little children, and it knows that you would get really scared and feel guilty if you had those thoughts... so the OCD, since it wants to torture you, puts exactly those thoughts in your head.

As it always is with OCD. "This too shall pass." Every new obsession feels like the worst one, don't you think so?
Please try to remember that the OCD thoughts don't make you a bad person. They are like a hiccup of the brain!! Some misfiring neurons. That's all.

Much love, and God bless you

Kathrin

auntchilada · 06-01-2004, 11:48 AM

This is only the OCD, not you!!! This is a VERY common obsessive thought!!! It's not really talked about often because it is embrassing to admit. But you are definately NOT alone! There is a book called "The Imp of the Mind" that talks about this obsession. Did you know that it is VERY common for new moms to have sexual and/or violent thoughts about their new babies? Even women who don't have OCD have these thoughts. Its part of the post-partum phase. So, take care of yourself during this difficult time and do NOT feel guilty.
The more you fear it and try to push the thought away, the more powerful it will become. It's proof that you are not a child molestar because how these thoughts scare you. If you were an evil person, you would enjoy these thoughts and not even think twice of them. You are NOT going to act on them.

scottskitty · 06-12-2004, 09:08 PM

don't feel disgusting. sometimes people just have what they consider disturbing thoughts.