I am sophomore in college and people say I expect too much from myself, because I feel that I need always have things right, and be in control. When I was 14 my therapist said I had ocd. Now, I doubt that, but I don't know if i'm just denying it. I have a fear of weighing over 100 pounds, I count my steps sometimes and I have to end on an even number. Before I leave my home I stomp my foot 6 times on the carpet.I also check the lock 6 or 12 times before I leave. Before I leave my room I have to tap on my wall 6 times. This is when I am not stressed out, however when I am streesed everything gets worse. I have a voice in my head that tells me to preform these things. However I don't fear that a family memeber will die if I don't do it, I just think that things will go wrong for me. I have odd mood swings. I get sad very quickly, and I feel that I can get depressed easily. Every few days seems to bring on so many emotions like i'm depressed then I'm okay. However, I am never happy.The voice in my head tells me that I don't have Ocd and that I'm stupid if I think that. I don't know what's wrong me, if there even is something wrong. Has anyone experienced this?
Although I am no expert, everything you just described does sound like ocd to me. You said the foot stomping etc is all done when you are not stressed, and when you are stressed it just all gets worse. We have these compulsions/rituals in attempt to lower our anxiety levels, hense the reason all your compulsions get worse when you are more stressed. OCD habits are basically coping mechanisms, well that's the way I look at it anyways.
Have you thought about maybe seeing a therapist? Maybe you were denying it all these years, that's not a bad thing. And don't think that if you are diagnosed with ocd again, it would mean you would have to suddenly admit there is something wrong, this isn't the case. You are still the same person you always were, just now you are aware of what help you need.
Well here is a fact, your therapist was right! Your typical ocd, you definately have it, a symptom of ocd is to think its not ocd, it used to be called the doubting disease! Thats an accurate description according to experts, you are doubting you have ocd and that is a symptom.
Those sure sound like OCD things to me. I can relate. I find that when I am stressed the rituals actually are a way to cope. If I don't "check the door" or faucet I feel even more stressed, even though that may not be what my initial anxiety is all about.